Well as part of my ongoing quest to write and record a song for my bucket list, here is my third offering as the previous two have failed to entice any collaborators thus far to help me acheive my goal. For those who haven't had the opportunity to read my previous attempts, they can be found here
http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/lyric-reviews/demons-7455/ and here
http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/lyric-reviews/the-greatest-lie-of-all/Before I post in the 'collaborators' section, I would appreciate and comments and/or suggestions on the following lyrics.
I'm not entirely happy with the chorus so any help there would be much appreciated. It's important I retain the phrases "Hate to Love" and "Love to Hate" but other than that I'm open to suggestions.
Thanks in advance for looking....
VERSEA tongue so sharp
You cut a smile
While all the while
There's hatred in your eyes
I'm seduced by the truth
You hide behind your lies.
Eyes cold as steel
Lips hot as hell
The tales they tell
Deceive with ease your prey
Convince with promises
You know you will betray
CHORUSPlayed every card
Tried every trick
Poured out my heart
But you're just too slick
Release your grip
And let me be
I hate to love you
And you love to hate me
VERSEThe face of an angel
With looks that kill
You enjoy the thrill
Of poisoning my mind with fear
Do you feel my pain
Did you ever shed a tear
From blood red claws
My wounds run deep
I need to sleep
And rest my broken soul
What would it take to
Return the love you stole
CHORUSPlayed every card
Tried every trick
Poured out my heart
But you're just too slick
Release your grip
And let me be
I hate to love you
And you love to hate me
MIDDLE 8When you wrap your hand
Around my heart
It skips a beat
Before it's torn apart
Now you disregard
All I've done and said
This loves masquerade
Is well and truly dead
CHORUSPlayed every card
Tried every trick
Poured out my heart
But you're just too slick
Release your grip
And let me be
I hate to love you
And you love to hate me