The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: CaliaMoko on March 29, 2017, 03:13:15 PM
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I posted a demo of this song last year, and now I have had it awesomely produced (thanks, Boydie!), so I'm hoping for feedback on this newly produced version. Basically, I want to know if it is done now. Can I put it on my list of totally completed songs? Or does it need something else?
I'm pretty excited about this one, because it's the first one I've had done with the grant I recently received. I can have five more professionally produced with the same grant. Unfortunately, I have at least 15 or 16 I want to do, so I need to choose carefully....
Find the song here: https://soundcloud.com/caliamoko/keep-the-fire-burning-final
KEEP THE FIRE BURNING
By: Vicki Morrison
Vocals: Vicki Morrison
Production, mixing, mastering, guitars: Boydie
Copyright © 2015 Vicki Morrison
VERSE 1
My heart was cold, my world was dark, My life was empty, then came a spark
A spark of love, a spark of love
My heart grew warm; I saw the dawn; Within my soul, the spark grew on
The spark of love, the spark of love
CHORUS
A flame has been kindled in my soul. I was broken all in pieces, but now I'm whole
The fire burns and warms my heart. I face the world; a brand new start
Oh woh, KEEP THE FIRE BURNING
VERSE 2
I fanned the flame with deeds of gold; Don't want it to die and grow cold
Keep the fire, the fire bright
Share the flame and spread the love; We can never have enough
So keep the fire, the fire bright
CHORUS
VERSE 3
My heart is warm, my world is bright; My life is full of giving light
The fire burns, the fire burns
Happiness swells and fills my soul, Then spills from me, an outward flow
The fire burns, the fire burns
CHORUS
******
Production of this song was made possible by a Region 2 Arts Council Individual Artist Grant with funding from the McKnight Foundation.
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Hi Vicki!
This is a song that gives me a very happy mood.
It reminds me a bit of Joni Mitchell:s funk era style.
I've complimented your voice before so I'll skip it this time. :)
Yes, if this is the sound you've aimed for I'd consider it finished.
My opinion is that the voice could be a little louder, just a little
1,5 dB or so. The guitar is in a bit of a contest with your voice.
Secondly I'm not 100% pleased with the drum rhythm. It is at
times what I recognize as a back beat and the cymbals ring
out too much. Personally I'd change the cymbals to tambourine
and add congas.
Lastly, and this is based on my brief university education and working as a
music teacher, I think you could add a bit of blues to your vocals,
in general but especially, in this song. You have a great folk
voice but I don't doubt that you could turn it a bit blue.
I hope I've made it clear that this song is as good as finished except
from the vocals/guitar part. Lovely song!
Martin
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Didn't hear the original, but this sounds great and it looks like Boydie's done your song justice. Good luck sorting through the rest of your material; better to have too much choice than too little.
Mike
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A fine song and beautifully sung, guitars just a bit too loud for me...
Nice vibrato on your vocal!! :) :)
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Brilliant job, Vicki...lovely vocals and a great, uplifting piece of music.
Boydie's done a super job for you too.
It wasn't so much a grant as an investment. A very wise one, too :)
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Hi Vicki....Good, good stuff!
I like the spacing in the lyric as it lays into the melody. Makes for a very comfortable listen.
Good writing. I like your singing, and I like what Boydie has done in his studio.
All in all, this is really nice.
Kudos
-Tom
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Hi Vicki,
sounds definitely finished to me. Great song, well sung and very good production as well.
Keith
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Hey Vicki.
The finished article (that's what it sounds like to me) has the vibe of a spiritual song,almost hymnal in it's quality. The lyrics underscore this sentiment.
Melodic,warm,charming and enchantingly alluring. A bit like myself,really. :D
Boydie's playing and audio skillz add a professional sheen without detracting from the spirit of the song.
A lovely result. :)
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Nice work Vicki,
A real country vibe going on, I like the fact that it seems to be a melody and lyric centred song, as do most of what I've heard from you. Very catchy in places.
The only thing I can suggest with this one is maybe some bigger female backing vocals in places, they were quite subtle and I think making them a bit more prominent at times would work well. Maybe with some call and response or counter melodies.
Well done.
Good job on the production too Boydie
Yodasdad
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This is quite gospelly Vicki, I guess thats the lyrics while the music is a bit country...
its uplifting & happy, a good news song & as it follows a natural path you feel you know it already...
I like to hear happy songs ...they arent fashionable anymore & we are conditioned to think happy songs are shallow & only dark songs are worthy
it sounds great & very tastefully played & produced by Boydie
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Really nice track, well performed and produced,
Top work guys.
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Hi guys, a great collaboration. Lovely vocal as usual, and Boydie does a great job in a sympathetic arrangement that compliments the feel of the song. A gospel/ country feel which is far from my thing,but I can appreciate the playing, singing and execution!
Nice one guys!
Cheers
Jamie
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@martinswede, shadowfax, yodasdad: Thanks for the feedback. I always like to hear about possibilities for improvements.
@mike67, paulads, ironknee, diademgrove, skub, tinam, cawproductions, and jamie: Your kind and complimentary comments keep me writing (although I doubt I could stop in any case--it's addicting).
It's always useful for me to hear what people say...I find out things I didn't know. For instance, it never occurred to me this song had a "country" feel to it at all. Or gospel, for that matter.
I deeply appreciate everyone who has taken time to comment; thank you so much. I have trouble being able to spend enough time to give everyone feedback--if I've missed anything of yours you'd like me to comment on, please let me know. The forum is so active, I could never hit everything posted, but I try my best.
And thanks to everyone who listened!
Vicki
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Some lovely details in Boydie's production - little reverb things and little blended guitar things...
Funny that people mentioned the guitars - I actually thought the piano was a little too loud for my taste! Go figure... I did hear the cymbals a bit too much though.
But everything working well together here. Great vocal but can I be forgiven for saying that perhaps the lyrics perhaps called for a little more emotion or maybe a little departure from the melody here and there? Just a thought... Performance not writing...
What I like about the lyrics is that they're capable of various interpretations (all uplifting ones!) depending on what we want to give them and that's a real strength.
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Dude,
I never like to push my opinions on other guys tracks as I feel it's just my personal taste, and that doesn't make it right or wrong.
If it sounds great then I am in.
Cheers
Andy
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the vocals beautiful
vibratos subtle and lingers lovely
really good mix and support from boydies band, the thunderboyds !
lovely stuff
could imagine it on radio 2 anyday of the week
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Nice, Vicki. It's such a cheerful song sung in a country/bluesy kind of way. Martin said it was Joni Mitchell-esque and I have to agree.
Also have to agree with the comments about your vocals being a little too drowned out by the guitars and piano.
But it's very catchy - a lovely tune.
cheers,
L
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Like the vocal in this.
I remember it from the WIP or was it lyric? Anyway I remember it.
It's interesting to see the way it's gone from that early guitar/vocal campfire strumalong to this more polished soulful version.
The chorus is very good and uplifting.
I hate to say anything when productions are posted as finished and paid for....makes it very hard....but I agree with Adam. I like the vocal a lot but i would like to see it let go a bit more as the song builds...bit more soul. Yes, maybe some backing vox too....it's lacking a bit of oomph. Only my thoughts of course....you may disagree.....
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Thanks for the production comments
It is always a tricky process coming up with a mix that will suit everyone, especially as people listen on different systems and different listening environments, which will emphasise (or take away) different frequencies - so a vocal that sounds too loud on one system might sound too quiet on another system
I have always opted to mix my vocals "in" the track rather than "on top" of the track so that when it is listened to on smaller speakers (eg ipad or earbuds) the vocal doesn't sound too proud
I try to use automation so that different elements (e.g. the guitar and piano) "step forward" in between vocal phrases so they are heard clearly but step back when the vocal is there
I have checked the mix across a range of systems and listening environments but this forum is an invaluable resource to me - not only to get the feedback from different systems and listening environments - but also different ears!!!!
As for the song - I thought it was a fantastic song and vocal
There are parts where VICKI struggled with the vocal so it sounded a bit croaky in places - but I actually loved this sound in her voice so tried to showcase it a bit
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Great song Boydie,
Nice mix and Master too,
I feel your pain often, ref peoples preferences to how loud vox should be or how much bass it too much bass. Somewhere is that happy medium.
Very much a personal thing.
Great work.
Andy
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@adamfarr, cawproductions, nooms, LAquila, Viscount...and Boydie, too.
Thanks for all the comments. My excuse regarding vocals...I may never get my voice back. :( I had some kind of respiratory infection for about a week starting February 13. My voice has been very gradually recovering, and I hope that continues. So far, I have acquired a scratchy, hoarse kind of quality on some notes some of the time. Some days more than others. When I recorded this one, I was being careful, because it was too easy to hurt my throat, at that time.
I noticed at karaoke last night I can sing "out" much better now, so my next song should have more feeling to it. I hope.
Ian, don't worry about making comments after the song is "finished and paid for". Adjustments are possible, if needed.
Adam, I always enjoy reading feedback, even when negative. Maybe even especially when negative, because then I get ideas for how to improve.
Thanks to everyone for listening!
Vicki
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Hi Vicki,
Dont sell yaself short, you did a nice job here. Its a nice Vox,
I am in no position to offer vocal advice to anyone.....lol
Cheers
Andy
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Hi Vicki - I feel a bit bad as obviously I had no idea of the personal circumstances behind the recording. But not too bad as my comment was really a "how could this be even better" comment rather than a criticism, which I think you understood. It's as much as I can do to get a reasonably acceptably in-tune vocal all through a track, so in this case I'm really commenting as a listener...
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Hi Vicki - I feel a bit bad as obviously I had no idea of the personal circumstances behind the recording. But not too bad as my comment was really a "how could this be even better" comment rather than a criticism, which I think you understood. It's as much as I can do to get a reasonably acceptably in-tune vocal all through a track, so in this case I'm really commenting as a listener...
Oh, please stop feeling bad, even a bit! I was just explaining.... And I do think my throat is improving; it's just so slow. Worst case scenario (I think)--I may have to settle for having a Janis Joplin voice instead of a Barbra Streisand voice. Not the end of the world. ;D
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Worst case scenario (I think)--I may have to settle for having a Janis Joplin voice instead of a Barbra Streisand voice. Not the end of the world. Grin
Or Barry White ;D ;) :P
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Worst case scenario (I think)--I may have to settle for having a Janis Joplin voice instead of a Barbra Streisand voice. Not the end of the world. Grin
Or Barry White ;D ;) :P
Oh yeah, good one! Now can you think of another option to replace my Janis Joplin example...someone who's still living??? :P
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Oh yes, sorry....I forgot you'd had a bad throat!
As Boydie said earlier he tried to showcase the croak....I liked the croak too!
And I'd rather listen to Janis Joplin than Streisand any day!
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boydies band, the thunderboyds !
:D
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Hmmm, I suppose I could take up smoking, drugs, late nights, and screaming to make sure I KEEP the croaking. :o ;D :P