[Katie Wilson]

Hi I'm really struggling at the moment with my gender issues, all over the place in my head - writing is the only thing that helps me to express myself,  I keep coming and going, I should imagine this is a mostly male forum - don't know why that matters but it's not an easy thing to talk about especially to men, my brother used to hit my mum , so I find opening up and sharing things with men very difficult .

The girl inside me that's hiding

There's a girl inside me that's hiding
maybe she's biding her time
or maybe she's like me
she don't know what her next lines , gonna me

There's a girl inside me , that's hiding
nobody knows that she's there
does anyone really care ?
that I want to dress up and look pretty

Maybe you think that I'm crazy
a man wanting to dress as a lady
how can anyone understand
it wasn't so long that it was banned

there's a girl inside me
that won't go away
she's locked in my mind and here to stay
sometimes I'm suicidal

I must tell the world who I am
is this part of gods plan ?
there's a girl inside me hiding
maybe she's biding her time

people stare like I'm a freak
I don't even get a chance to speak
they've made up minds
pulled down their blinds
sometimes I'm suicidal

there's a girl inside me , that's hiding
all I want is to be me
I want to reach out and touch freedom
one day it's gonna be too late

everyday's such a struggle
my head is in such a muddle
it's getting me down
I look like a clown
make up all over my face

There's a girl inside me , that's hiding
maybe she's biding her time
will the train stop at her station
and she'll be able come out to her relations

I don't know what's going happen
the future, the here and the now
there's a girl inside me that's hiding
all she wants,  is some friends



Stop , stop,, stop

You hit her I was there
It was obscene , I did nothing
television through the window,
every single one smashed
then the police came
oh god I can see it all now

stop,,stop,stop,
I can see it all now
forty years later
it's all still so clear

how can I trust men again
the pain never goes away
my broken mind
damaged forever

Stop stop stop
you're hurting her
can't you see
don't cry mum , don't cry

broken mind , broken soul
Stop, stop, stop

[Darren1664]

Hi Katie

The lyrics read really well and are well put together. It would be great to hear them to some music that really bring out the emotions I feel in the words. I have the impression that you don't write music so it would be great if someone else could work on this with you. I will myself if I have any suitable ideas musically.

A couple of lines I found awkward

First "and she'll be able come out to her relations". It is hard to tell without a melody but when reading it felt too ling a line and maybe you could shorten it to "and she'll be able come out to relations"

Secondly the last line "all she wants,  is some friends " didn't quite work for me. It's obviously down to personal taste but for your final line I felt 'is some friends' doesn't quite tie in with the rest of the lyrics. As a suggestion maybe "all she wants is to come out"

All that said it's a good and brave write and I hope it develops further.

And please feel free to ignore my comments if you don't agree

All the best

Darren

[cowparsleyman]

Katie

These lyric have real potential, It's clear that this is from your inner self, most great lyrics are fashioned this way.

Sorry seems to be the hardest word, for example.


I must tell the world who I am
is this part of gods plan ?
there's a girl inside me hiding
maybe she's biding her time

This might sit better in a melody.

Gotta tell the world who I am
is this part of Gods big plan ?
The woman inside me's hiding
and maybe it's time that woman's biding

just an idea.

I like the subject, you have a privalaged position to write about it.

CPM

[Nicolajane87]

Hi Katie,

Very emotional lyrics, well written and from the heart.

I’m glad that writing music helps you express your feelings.

Nicola

[wkamen]

Really great content and a very alluring flow that brought me in.

Would love to hear this put to music

Thanks
Bill

[cowparsleyman]

This might not help you much at all katies, but there are some lyrics that hit me like a ton of bricks, and then the vocal hits me like another ton of bricks, so two tons of bricks are quite a bit for my delicate eyes to try and resist.

Forgive me by Missy higgins

Let me know what you think, it sounds like she recorded it in the very bathroom where it all happend...

This song will live with me forever, as will White flag by Dido (not moving musically, but on the nail lyrically

You are writing about something which is very personal and if the lyrics are right, will have the same affect.

Try moving words about, replaceing them, like a game of scrabble, it really helps me anyway.


Keep going katie
CPM

[Oldbutyet]

Hey Katie, do you sing because your lyrics sound as if you do, you okay 

[Katie Wilson]

Thank you all for your great responses , I get frustrated because I write stuff and nothing happens , this took about 5 minutes and then I just move on to something else I don't really know what to do with them. I suppsose it's a creative thing and it just helps to express myself I am more of a poet really

I don't sing - I will listen to what has been suggested xx

Thanks again Katie xxx

[Neil C]

Katie,

Difficult stuff but good to express things, writing about the truth. Just thinking about John Lennon writing about Help in the midst of beatlemania.

Anyway you got two songs there, both very powerful. The girl inside me is a great concept and some fab lines in it maybe could do with some editing? and there's nothing needs to be said about Stop...

 
neil

 

[Katie Wilson]

That's amazing I'm actually listening to Noel Gallagher singing help this very minute

[Neil C]

Katie,
If you're ok with it and not doing with someone else I'd like to have go at putting girl inside me to music?
I'll send you a pm.
 
Neil

[Katie Wilson]

Fantastic please do by all means Neil xxx

[Neil C]

Katie,

Hey here's a early demo of the tune, or some reason I couldn't pm you

https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/girl-inside-me-master-25-jan-2018

Lots to do to finish it but look forward your feedback.

 
Neil

[Oldbutyet]

Katie,

Hey here's a early demo of the tune, or some reason I couldn't pm you

https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/girl-inside-me-master-25-jan-2018

Lots to do to finish it but look forward your feedback.

 
Neil

Nice one Neil, i think a jazz sax would come in nicely just flowing with the flow man 

[Neil C]

Pat, great idea thanks, anybody good st sax?

But more to the point anyone know where Katie is?

 
Neil