Hi RichEwen
Thanks for joining our little forum, I hope you find it a useful place to hone your song-smithing skills.
I definitely think there must be artists/ singers out there looking for original material to sing and play. Why not post a thread in the collaborations forum here?
With regard to your song, I think it has potential. You have a strong melody and structure. The best part of the song for me is the change from verse to chorus where the melody jumps up. That works very well.
I also think there's a fair amount of room for improvement too. First off, I think the song is too slow! And I don't mean just because it's fingerpicked, I mean it's plodding, which is usually bad news when it comes to songs (I am guilty of this one myself). Give it more pace than you think it needs and you'll probably hit the mark. While I think the melody is quite strong, I also think it's too rigid. It's part performance, but I think some dynamics need to be written into the song. Don't make the melody/ metre of every verse the same or the song ends up sounding too predictable, which can be boring to some listeners.
Lyrics were good in places, not so good in others. Heard a few cliches in there which I always advise people to avoid at all costs. Even if they describe what you want to say perfectly ('catch me when I fall' is a line I hear in songs all the time) they don't sound authentic. I also think this song (lyrically) is a little bit self indulgent. You may not have intended it, but it comes across a bit 'poor me'. Again, some people get away with this, but usually there's a bit of irony or humour thrown in to assure the listener that the writer doesn't take himself too seriously.
