[Saeed AlSuri]

This is my new English song .. I finished two days ago ..

its about a member of a family went to war and they are waiting for him to come back home .. its a melancholy song .. some thing I'm trying for the first time .. writing about others ..

My new English song ..Come Back Home .. 27/05/2013

Rain drops are falling ..
Dark clouds are forming ..
The storm is coming ..
Strong winds are howling ..

I can hear your name ..
Always asking the same .. they are
Calling you back Home ..

I walk in the forest ..
Among the trees ..
The smell of the morning ..
Carried by the breeze ..

Reminds me of you ..
And the walks we used to do ..
In the forest back Home ..

I remember the day ..
When you walked away ..
When you walked through that door
Went to fight a WAR ..

Battles so far away ..
How many lives we will pay ..
WARs so far from Home ..

Dark days are coming ..
Sad nights are here ..
Laughing is forbidden ..
many eyes with tears ..

We are waiting for you..
Comeback safely .. please do ..
We are praying everyone at Home ..

Saeed AlSuri       

copyright SSA 2013.

[GTB]

Hi, this is excellent, snappy, rhymes and flows well and your English is spot all all the way.  Only the line "went to fight a war" felt as though it skipped a beat on my reading, but it may be perfectly ok when you sing it.  I'll look out for the music if you're going to post it.
GTB

[cena69]

realy like this but why call it your new ENGLISH SONG if you prefer i would like to here it in the lanuage you want to put it in

[Kevin j]

nice song, i like the lyrics, very punctual
it has a nice shape to it,
but the line 'went to fight a war' seems too simple to me,

hope this helps

[Saeed AlSuri]

Thanks guys ..

to cena69 .. I call it my English song .. so that the reader will be conscious that Its not my language .. and will help in reviewing the work .. I'm a new writer in English and in my language .. only 7 months old writer .. so bare with me .. 

to Kevin j .. soldiers live on orders .. come and go .. they don't have any choice in there line of work .. and that is the reality of there profession .. couldn't say more ..

by the way the song is posted on sound cloud .. now ..

[Jess]

I haven't heard it to music yet, but I think this is your best set of lyrics so far. There's a good bit of imagery, the title's intriguing and like Kevin said, it's shaped really well. Good on you for writing songs in English if it's not your first language- I could never write a song in another language!

[benjo]

hi saeed,

well gets better and better good job on the lyrics
for me best so far good english well done you
opening verse great stuff my mind was working take care...

[Saeed AlSuri]

I Very Very happy that you liked it benjo ..

coming from you .. its high praise to me .. 

its not what I think normally as a subject to write about .. but the opening of the lyrics and the mode of the chords made me think of this ..

by the way the chords Am F Am G .. is not what i think when making music this is America's chords in the song from ( The Last Unicorn ) Animation movie .. I just tried the chords .. normally I go for Am Dm not F and Am Em not G .. which I did in the semi chorus ..


Cheers

[benjo]

hi saeed,

 whatever you did it worked well
 me and my wife will listen to this again
 good luck with it mate take care...