[IronKnee]

Hi Everyone.........This experiment took me way out of my comfort zone...and loved every minute of it.
The recording didn't come out well, at all....but I think the concept's idea worked.
What do you all think All comments welcome, and first impressions are appreciated.
Thanks!!
                      -Tom

“Better Than I Used To Be”
By Tom Tognaci

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10812325

V1
He started off a preacher’s only boy
The only time, in his life, he knew joy
But a gun brought his daddy down
On some dirt street in Illinois

He stood scared while he watched his father bleed
Picking up the six-gun at his feet
He aimed to have his vengeance there
But was too young to do the deed
He hung his little head in shame
And cried the tears no one could read

And while the church bells rung,
And while a choir sung…
…He swore, to himself, that he’d be,
“Better than I used to be”

V2
From the everglades to the desert sands
He turned outlaw, wanted, in the badlands
Some say the demons in his head
Fanned the fury of his hands
Yeah, the last thing Sheriff Dillon saw
Was the blur of his right hand

And while the church bells rung,
And while a choir sung…
...A tattoo on his right hand reads,
“Better than I used to be


V3
It’s a mystery that’s still misunderstood
It’s a story of how the bad was turned to good
Where a woman gave her heart to
The man who’d steal it, if he could

He was an outlaw, hardened by his trade
And the deal with the devil he had made
Some say she bartered her own soul
Others say, it’s how she prayed
Some say she was an angel
Explaining why he seemed afraid

And the church bells rung,
And the choir sung…
…he promised her, that day, he’d be,
“Better than I used to be”


V4
He earned the reputation as a thief,
A scoundrel who would lie right through his teeth
But, in that church, a miracle
Had turned over a fresh new leaf

Now, it’s said, he disappeared in ole Paris
But, it’s whispered that he died inTennessee
Where it’s rumored that his headstone reads,
“Better than I used to be”

[adamfarr]

Such a cool atmosphere you created here. I guess the lyric is quite traditional in a lot of ways but I really like this different treatment of it. Especially the verses work really well and get home the message in an original way.

I do have to say that in general I'm not a fan of placenames in songs (even the elegant Jason Isbell totally lost me with references to Percy Priest which mean nothing to a European). For those that know maybe they can give some additional texture or context but they could also tie it down...

Anyhow, nice job and really well conceived song!

[TimCurtis]

The recording doesn't sound like it came out badly at all.  Love the sound effects, some great playing and vocals.  Like the way the guitars are panned hard left/right - something I do myself to add space in the middle.

The lyrics are good - I always like a good story.

I'd like to hear the chorus beefed up a bit - perhaps with some extra oooh/ahhh backing...?

[IronKnee]

Such a cool atmosphere you created here. I guess the lyric is quite traditional in a lot of ways but I really like this different treatment of it. Especially the verses work really well and get home the message in an original way.

I do have to say that in general I'm not a fan of placenames in songs (even the elegant Jason Isbell totally lost me with references to Percy Priest which mean nothing to a European). For those that know maybe they can give some additional texture or context but they could also tie it down...

Anyhow, nice job and really well conceived song!

Thanks Adam for stopping by!
This is a completely fictitious piece. I do have a thang I was writing, as an inspiration to the song:

The rain came down in buckets, all day long, and pooled in the deep muddy tracks
left by the horses and wagons used by the towns people to get them routinely across and down the main street.
It continued to rain hard into the December night. And while most of the towns people of Big Whiskey were in their beds, or huddled by their fireplaces, the Oak Board saloon was still open for business.
Inside, a slouched figure sat, alone and unassuming.
His coat was buttoned high, and his hat was pulled down, hiding the murderous eyes of a man of distinct notoriety.
Oblivious of the other patrons in the saloon, he sat motionless;
but, for the slow and deliberate mechanics of his libation.
Round upon round, he detached himself, as the liquor poured over his mind, dulling this night’s venture as a mere diluted and distant memory.
And, after what he’d done; he thought, he’d best be leaving this town…..
…come morning, they’ll be looking for someone to hang, for sure.
He downed his last whiskey, paused, then thought,
“Better than I use to be”………………..”The Ballad of William Munny” by Tom Tognaci

Again........completely fictitious. Thanks for commenting...and I'm glad you like it!!

The recording doesn't sound like it came out badly at all.  Love the sound effects, some great playing and vocals.  Like the way the guitars are panned hard left/right - something I do myself to add space in the middle.

The lyrics are good - I always like a good story.

I'd like to hear the chorus beefed up a bit - perhaps with some extra oooh/ahhh backing...?

Hey thanks Tim....I think it sounds much better if you listen to the song with earphones. The sound recording isn't that dynamic in its fidelity, overall. I suck as an audio sound mixer.
However, I like the "oooh/ahhh" idea.... Thanks, man!!


And thanks to all who have listened
                                                              -Tom

[adamfarr]

Tom - nice little story you have there! I love Big Whiskey (the place not the refreshment). My comments weren't really critical, but actually given the choice maybe I'd go for the fictional place...

[Martinswede]

Hi Tom!

Good song, good story.
I listened to it a second time in headphones. Your song
got a whole new dimension then hearing it on laptop speakers.
I'm not a fan of panned lead vocals. It kind of makes me tilt my head.
With the second right voice I could sit straight again. The ambient noise
made for a nice setting but it would be cool if you had the church bells just
at the beginning like in Metallicas Hemmingway song.

I think the vocals could be a bit stronger. It sounds like you in the middle
of the night recording and you don't want to wake your children. A bit too
whisper-y fro my taste.

You've done a good job with this song and paid a lot of attention to details.
That's always appreciated.

Good afternoon,
- Martin

[IronKnee]

Tom - nice little story you have there! I love Big Whiskey (the place not the refreshment). My comments weren't really critical, but actually given the choice maybe I'd go for the fictional place...

Yeah....You are right, here.....but, Big Whiskey does make for a great image and flavor when creating a western atmosphere.
I stand corrected..........but I ain't mov'in 
Thanks, again!

Hi Tom!

Good song, good story.
I listened to it a second time in headphones. Your song
got a whole new dimension then hearing it on laptop speakers.
I'm not a fan of panned lead vocals. It kind of makes me tilt my head.
With the second right voice I could sit straight again. The ambient noise
made for a nice setting but it would be cool if you had the church bells just
at the beginning like in Metallicas Hemmingway song.

I think the vocals could be a bit stronger. It sounds like you in the middle
of the night recording and you don't want to wake your children. A bit too
whisper-y fro my taste.

You've done a good job with this song and paid a lot of attention to details.
That's always appreciated.

Good afternoon,
- Martin

Hi, Martin....thanks for commenting!! Yeah, that lead vocal is a head scratcher for me. I wanted to sound like Sam Elliot, and that was/is the best I can muster. It's a bit frustrating, and until I can come up with a new angle, it has to remain.
Thanks, again for listening!


And thanks to all who have listened!
                                                                  -Tom

[pompeyjazz]

Hi Tom, yes this is very different from you. It's very stimulating to get out of your comfort zone as you say. I'm loving the husky vocals. This sort of reminded me of Rocky Racoon off The White Album. Its a great story as well and some interesting sound effects. I know when I had a horse in the studio there was one hell of a mess. Great to see you trying out different angles 

[jamesh]

Hi


So my first impression was that the chorus unexpectedly went all Simon and Garfunkel and then reverted to the gritty cowboy vocal. On second listen seemed to fit much better! I found myself humming the chorus as had my dinner....
Anyway, the lyrics tell the story well and the guitar suits the style of song really well.


James

[Skub]

Yo IronKnee.

Cool song man,but I have a thing about people whispering in my ear,it makes me want to stab them in the eye with the nearest sharp object.  This kinda ruined the song for me,since I sat for the duration with teeth gritted,but I'm well aware I'm probably in a company of one here!

It's a fine song,but I'd love to hear it sung. 

[IronKnee]

Hi Tom, yes this is very different from you. It's very stimulating to get out of your comfort zone as you say. I'm loving the husky vocals. This sort of reminded me of Rocky Racoon off The White Album. Its a great story as well and some interesting sound effects. I know when I had a horse in the studio there was one hell of a mess. Great to see you trying out different angles 

Hey thanks, Pompy, for stopping by.....I am always trying to do different things, and this is sure diffrent. Thanks for noticing! (and for commenting!)

Hi


So my first impression was that the chorus unexpectedly went all Simon and Garfunkel and then reverted to the gritty cowboy vocal. On second listen seemed to fit much better! I found myself humming the chorus as had my dinner....
Anyway, the lyrics tell the story well and the guitar suits the style of song really well.


James

Thanks, James, for the kind words.....I'm glad you liked it!
And thanks for listening!!!

Yo IronKnee.

Cool song man,but I have a thing about people whispering in my ear,it makes me want to stab them in the eye with the nearest sharp object.  This kinda ruined the song for me,since I sat for the duration with teeth gritted,but I'm well aware I'm probably in a company of one here!

It's a fine song,but I'd love to hear it sung. 

Hi, Skub....it wasn't meant to sound like a whisper into your ear. It was meant to be Sam Elliot singing/telling a story 
Oh, well....I tried.
Thanks for stopping and taking a listen. It's appreciated!

And thanks to all who have listened!!
                                                                    -Tom

[digger72]

Hi Tom,

The whispery vocal was a bit too low for me. Perhaps my ears are shot from too many years of Metallica
I got a bit of Simon and Garfunkel too.
The guitar playing sounded very nice - again sounded a bit low in the mix.

Very good story telling.

Digger

[boolio]

Hi,
I’ve listened a few times now I felt I needed to ‘get into this’ at least before commenting. I guess the fact that I kept coming back to it speaks volumes… i.e,  that I felt somehow intrigued and engaged by it from the get go…But why?
I guess because it’s the storytelling, it’s the western theme, it’s the tuneful, melodic acoustic guitar and the lyrical nuance which all combine to deliver a great tale….It really works - Incidentally I’m not sure Sam Elliot himself couda spun this yarn out any better! Just maybe he wouldn’t have added FX to his vocal…sorry just nit picking… I can still hear him signing over ‘All my ex’s live in Texas’ by George Straight in the movie ‘Roadhouse’ but maybe (even after a quarter of a century)  that’s just colouring my judgement!
All in all very well done and congrats on leaving your comfort zone
Phil

[montydog]

This reminds me a little of the theme running through the "Desperado" album by The Eagles - a western based story song. For me, the guitar playing on this is sufficient on it's own for me to love it. You really do have a lovely style on the acoustic which brings me back again and again. I think the song itself is wonderful with some lovely lines and great ideas. I thought the vocal was nicely in keeping with the style of the song, I liked the sound effects and the whole thing is really of epic quality. It's ambitious but you've pulled it off. Definitely up there with your very finest work.

M