*** HELLO! This song has evolved into another one now - see the Things That Keep Us Ticking thread. ***
Hi there,
So here's take 1 of a track I'd
genuinely like some unconstrained brutal feedback on (in the spirit of Paul's "Gloves Off" thread in the Bar). I've posted here rather than "Works in Progress" because it is complete in a way, but I'm also going to deconstruct it and rerecord all of it from scratch as, to my ears, there's a better track lurking in here and I'd appreciate you guys helping me to drag it out; that's why it is a "Private" track on Soundcloud at the minute. I'm up for comments on anything... got a few from one of my bandmates but would like to canvas other opinions too before I start again. At the minute I'm feeling OK about the lyrics, not sure about some bits of the melody / structure / production though (maybe it needs a stronger sonic identity), and I haven't even entered the mixing pane of Logic yet (just basic panning and levels) so any suggestions on EQ etc will be lapped up. Just tell me any bits you like or hate.
https://soundcloud.com/commodore-64/pushing-chords-around-a-fretboard-take-1/s-lBXJJ Lyrics below. I guess its about why it is OK to spend hours and hours writing music at the expense of something more conventionally productive... maybe that resonates with one or two of you fine folk too
. Thanks in advance and I hope you'll put up with listening to Take 2 in a few weeks.
Pauly
Lyrics:
Pushing Chords Around a FretboardI heard that they are taking volunteers for Mars
It’s history in the making but you can’t come back
Your bones will buckle, and for all your trouble, there’ll be
Volunteers for Venus waiting on the launch pad
I could have been a man of letters if I had just stuck with it
Like my elders and my betters, but back at school, your dogma bored me rigid
So I baulk at the prospect of your TED talk
Coz you’re crouching on the blunders of midgets
And so that is why I spend my time pushing chords around a fretboard
I’m 37 million and fifth in line to the throne
Just a dim civilian but hey, you never know
Come zombie apocalypse I could be holed-up in some megaplex
Fashioning a makeshift crown
But I’d rather spend my time pushing chords around a fretboard
Were you bitten by the bug, working on your legacy?
You do as you will, I’ve had my fill of all these pyrrhic victories
Were you bitten by the bug, hanging by your fingertips?
You do as you will, I’ve had my fill of all these pyrrhic victories