The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: mickyplankton on December 01, 2017, 09:54:24 PM
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Hi All,
Heres a 2 minute fun song to get you in the mood for the weekend :_)
https://soundcloud.com/mickyplankton/international-demons-1-0
As always feedback appreciated:
A man was pulled from the Pacific today
His pink body shrivelled and starting to decay
He can’t have his life back I heard someone say
I began to wonder if there was another way?
Had his life ended, before it had begun?
The truth was darer, a life on the run
Afraid and ashamed by all he had done
International demons,
No borders in the mind,
Tried and tested theories
Unravel and unwind
A body was pulled from the ocean today
His pink body shrivelled and starting to decay
He can’t have his life back I heard someone say
I began to wonder if there was another way?
(Had his life ended), before it had begun?
a life on the run
Afraid and ashamed by all he had done
International demons,
No borders in the mind,
Tried and tested theories
Unravel and unwind
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Wonderful stuff Micky. So full of energy and attitude. You will have to let me know if you're gigging in the deep south :)
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Lots of punky energy ;D
Not really what I would listen to genre -wise but seems to suit the style well from the little I know of it.
Paul
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Hellova rocker mate!!! weirdly interesting lyrics...punk is back!!! always liked punk!!
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Like the lyrics a lot mate - the way you link one tragic personal story / news item to some big themes; I like the spirit of it a lot. Bet your guitarist broke a few strings playing this one. Liked the bassline too.
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This is like a punk newscast, man.
1978 energy levels, foot to the floor beat, amphetamine bass line, untutored vocal, and a news bulletin.
It's a blast of punk anchorman energy.
Great stuff man, but where's Ron Burgundy?
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Back of the net, Micky.
A great set of intriguing lyrics...knocked out with a relentless punk backdrop. I was wracking my brain trying to figure out whose body it was...at first I thought "Robert Maxwell" but I don't think so...that's a hell of a tale to tell too...hmmm
anyway...another belter from you and the guys...great work!
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yeah!
Punky
I like the energy but I'm not well versed in Punk. went through my youth
having heard only Iggy and the clash and random local punk bands.
Always wanted to try a punk sound out.
I dunno if I can anymore.
thanks for sharing
cuz sharing is caring! Ahoi!
Rightly
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Cool, with grotesque imagery, shriveled pink bodies, and all. Great atmosphere and energy. Enjoy it very much.
Lynn
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Two minutes of energy. A very retro sounding track with enough variation to hold our interest. Enjoying the mixture of sung and spoken vocal.
Cool!
Paul
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From one Micky to another...
Man this is ENERGY!!! Love the feel of this it's like a modern punk pop rock fest.
only thing I might suggest is a bit of a break somewhere. like a slowed down bridge or something to break the tension. or maybe a slow pre chorus. Just a suggestion, I think my pop sensibilities are coming out lol
Nice work!
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This one rolls back the years - in a good way - and it's refreshing to hear something so purposely raw and energetic in these controlled times of over polished productions. I loved the sireny guitars in the breaks and the agitating music is a great backdrop for the slightly edgy lyrical content. I was thinking Buzzcocks meets maybe Stiff Little Fingers in a modern reincarnation of punk's original spirit.
Amazing that it was only two minutes long, but seemed perfectly adequate at that length. Nice one.
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That blew the cobwebs out!
Not a huge punk fan myself but I enjoyed this. Loads of drive, authenticity and a catchy chorus.
What more could you want Really?
Yodasdad
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I enjoy all your stuff - takes me back to a period of music i used to be well into.
Not quite as catchy as others you have done - but good stuff none the less and so authentic sounding
I'm imagining on green vinyl with a picture cover ;D
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What great energetic rock'n punk track this is :o Loved the lyrics and the way you deliver them :)
Not my favorite genre, but I liked the message :) 2 mins was just about right :)
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Hi Everyone,
Thanks for the largely positive feedback. No tinkering required for this one me thinks which is a nice change!
From one Micky to another...
Man this is ENERGY!!! Love the feel of this it's like a modern punk pop rock fest.
only thing I might suggest is a bit of a break somewhere. like a slowed down bridge or something to break the tension. or maybe a slow pre chorus. Just a suggestion, I think my pop sensibilities are coming out lol
Nice work! :)
Micky. You DO get a break after precisely 2 minutes 15 seconds! You must have missed it first time :)