[PointZero]

(Verse 1)
The past comes back in a cloud display...
Flames about,
no one cares if it happens today.
Dreams sure make you want to say,
"How can this happen?"

Luxury come at a small price.
People wander,
and I still suffice.
Dreams sure make you want to say,
"Why isn't it real?"

(Chorus?)
Black eyes in the bitter cold.
Riding a way back to home.
They catch a ride with you.
There's almost nothing to do,
oh no...

(Verse 2)
You come back to life again.
You fell too far,
not where you should've been.
Dreams sure make you want to,
do the things you can't do.

(Chorus..?)
Black eyes in the bitter cold.
Riding a way back to home.
They catch a ride with,
and there's almost nothing to do.
Oh no...

Oh no....

(Verse 3)
Life support never seems to last.
Name in lights,
people still are walking past.
Dreams sure make you want to scream,
"Why is this just a dream?"

(Bridge?)
She finally loved you.
She finally cared.
Your fists were clenched,
when your love was shared.
But it wasn't true.
The things that dreams do to you...

(Chorus...?)
Black eyes in the bitter cold.
Riding a way back to home.
They catch a ride with,
and there's almost nothing to do.
Oh no...

[tone]

PointZero, this is a very nice lyric. Good rhythm and meter, good song structure, and some very nice lines. The whole thing instantly creates an atmosphere that draws you in, and carries you along; it's quite compelling. You're obviously a fairly experienced writer - how long have you been making songs, and when can we expect to hear this lyric set to music.

Thanks for sharing

[PointZero]

PointZero, this is a very nice lyric. Good rhythm and meter, good song structure, and some very nice lines. The whole thing instantly creates an atmosphere that draws you in, and carries you along; it's quite compelling. You're obviously a fairly experienced writer - how long have you been making songs, and when can we expect to hear this lyric set to music.

Thanks for sharing

I've only been writing for a year. And if it amounts to anything, I'll be turning 14 in June. And I don't know when this will be available in music form, because I have no way of recording anything.. but thank you for your opinions on the song!

[tone]

14? Wow.... I think you have some talent brewing there. Do you play an instrument?

[PointZero]

I play guitar, piano, bass, drums, mandolin, harmonica and trombone.