[Deadwood]

Hi, just signed up to the site. This is my first upload which is very exciting for me but also a little bit scary. Been trying to write songs for years. Never been a lyricist but love making melodies.

I'd welcome feedback on the song itself rather than the quality of the recording. Thanks.

Link - https://soundcloud.com/ejomusic/suffer-in-silence

Lyrics...

Nobody knows me like you
And nobody loves me like you
But all of the time you’re trying to unwind the things going round in my head
 
It’s anyone’s guess what I’m thinking  
Don’t ever pretend that you know
These thoughts in my head just won’t go away and I’m finding it hard to explain
 
And I’ll suffer in silence
And you’ll be none the wiser
Cos they never listened when I tried to explain
So I won’t bother trying again
 
I know all this love that’s between us
But some things are better unsaid
These thoughts in my head just won’t go away and I’m finding it hard to explain
 
And I’ll suffer in silence
And you’ll be none the wiser
Cos they never listened when I tried to explain
So I won’t bother trying again

[mikek]

well i think its a great song.  the lyrics are very well written and the melody is pleasant.  its very catchy and the chorus hook is infectious.  i like the feel when it starts to build, is that in the 2nd chorus thereabouts...  where the drums start picking things up?  very nice.  good vocals, your tone is excellent.

certainly, a pro production could clean things up a bit, but heck its quite good as it stands.  you should be very proud of it.

[Cawproductions]

Dude,

This is a really nice song, Loving the dreamy vox on it, liking that chorus, (like a smoothed out Tom Petty).

The song is good and the quality of recording is fine, All I would say is get some variation on that drum track, fills and crashes, maybe add a bridge to switch it up and give the listener a break then drop it back in.

Not dissing tho, Cool sound.

[Deadwood]

Thanks Cawproductions and mikek. Really appreciate you taking the time to give me some constructive feedback.

I'll have a play around with a bridge. I was thinking of dropping drums out of first half of verse one to add some dynamics. I know some of the timing needs tightening up as well.

Thanks again.

Ed

[Martinswede]

Hi Deadwood!
I think your song is really good.
It's mainstream but still interesting. You sing good.
 I'd cut or lower the volume on the delay on the vocals.
But my strongest suggestion is that you raise the key
On the last repeat of the chorus a full step. It would give
The end of the song a lift and energy to make it stick more in at
Least my mind.

Don't forget to participate in the forum.

Again, a good song.

Cheers,

- Martin

[Deadwood]

Thanks Martin. I agree with your comment re vocal delay being slightly over done.

Not so sure about going up a key in final chorus but I'll have a play around with that idea. Not sure how I'd work it coming out of the instrumental break.

Ed

[Mike67]

Hi Ed,

I really like this.  Has a bit of an 80's feel, which I love, and the track builds perfectly.  Words are good and suit the melody and instrumentation.  Not qualified to comment on the production, but the song itself  ticks all my boxes.

Mike

[CaliaMoko]

You must be a big fan of vocal fry. My suggestion is to use it a little more sparingly. That's based on my own personal bias, though, so you (and possibly many others) may not agree.

There is a conflict of opinion about whether vocal fry can damage your vocal cords, probably because it makes a difference if you do it properly (whatever that might be) or not. Anyway, something to think about (if you haven't already).

The song, I think is very good and very well put together. Everything fits together very well, the melody suits the lyric, the rhythms of the words fall naturally in the melody line as they should. You have a very good melody. It's all just really nice and pleasant to listen to. I can't find anything to nit-pick, and I do love to nit-pick....

Vicki

[Deadwood]

Hi Vicki

Thank you very much for your feedback. I'm not familiar with the term vocal fry. What is that?

Ed

[Darren1664]

Well I came here after hearing your collab walk away....and I really love your music. There's a really nice quality to your voice and yours songs really bring it out! I'll be difinately looking out for more! Great stuff pal!!

Darren

[Deadwood]

Hi Darren

I really appreciate the feedback. Thank you.

Ed

[Oldbutyet]

Just want to say if i listen to this after you posted in march i would say you need to get your vocals out more, i have heard two more songs from you.

Keep the flow going man 

[CaliaMoko]

Hi Vicki

Thank you very much for your feedback. I'm not familiar with the term vocal fry. What is that?

Ed

Hmmm, how to explain vocal fry.... [Google to the rescue] There's a description here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vocal_fry_register. You can hear an example here:

. I think the video is directed toward women (I didn't watch it because I'm exceeding my average daily allotment of bandwidth. Again.)

[Ramadean]

Nice song and the lyric is well written. A kind of song we listen on radio today. Duration is fit for a radio show too which is not too long. My songs always 5 minutes plus even without many repeated verses or improvisation.

[hardtwistmusic]

Hi, just signed up to the site. This is my first upload which is very exciting for me but also a little bit scary. Been trying to write songs for years. Never been a lyricist but love making melodies.

I'd welcome feedback on the song itself rather than the quality of the recording. Thanks.

Link - https://soundcloud.com/ejomusic/suffer-in-silence

Lyrics...

Nobody knows me like you
And nobody loves me like you
But all of the time you’re trying to unwind the things going round in my head
 
It’s anyone’s guess what I’m thinking  
Don’t ever pretend that you know
These thoughts in my head just won’t go away and I’m finding it hard to explain
 
And I’ll suffer in silence
And you’ll be none the wiser
Cos they never listened when I tried to explain
So I won’t bother trying again
 
I know all this love that’s between us
But some things are better unsaid
These thoughts in my head just won’t go away and I’m finding it hard to explain
 
And I’ll suffer in silence
And you’ll be none the wiser
Cos they never listened when I tried to explain
So I won’t bother trying again

Where to begin?   I'll start at the beginning.  You said "never been a lyricist." 

Who says?  These aren't just "good enough" they are excellent.  Unless someone else wrote these lyrics, you are certainly not lacking in talent.  Don't sell yourself short. 

Regarding the "quality of the recording."  For a "work in progress" there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with the quality of the recording.  Don't sell yourself short. 

The song itself is a thing of beauty.  It's funny on this forum. . . incredible songs seem to "come in bunches."  This is the third exceptional song I've listened to here in the last three days.  You can go months without one, then BOOM. . . three in 48 hours.  Your song is very good.  VERY good. 

Lastly, thank you for waiting until you had been around and participated before uploading a song.  Your 21st post is the one with the song on it.  Very considerate and participatory. 

DON'T SELL YOURSELF SHORT.  You can't be modest and sell songs.  And by "sell songs" I mean present them to an audience.  There is a fine line between a "braggart" and a "salesman."  In my opinion, you've got to (politely) crowd that line a little. It's a bit of a balancing act.