The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Mrs.Tobi on February 21, 2018, 08:59:04 PM
-
https://soundcloud.com/user-252338178/take-it-easy
Everything’s Gonna Be All right
Verse 1:
When the pressure’s on
Don’t let yourself get stressed
Take a deep breath
You’ll know which way is best
Look what you’ve got
You’ll realise you’re blessed
And somehow
You’ll always make it through
Verse 2:
When you’re frightened
Allow the fear to cease
You gotta find
Some emotional release
Look inside you
Strive for inner peace
And know
You’ll always make it through
Chorus:
Relax
You’re holding on too tight
Take it easy
Everything’s gonna be all right (x2)
Verse 3:
When you’re anxious
Learn how to be still
You wanna make it
And I know that you will
If you could only
Teach yourself to chill
You’ll find the way
To always make it through
Chorus:
Relax
You’re holding on too tight
Take it easy
Everything’s gonna be all right (x2)
Middle Eight:
When you’re feeling troubled
When you’re feeling blue
It might be of some comfort to know
I’ve all felt that way too
Chorus:
Relax
You’re holding on too tight
Take it easy
Everything’s gonna be all right (x2)
Outro:
Don’t you worry
You’ll make it in the end
Don’t you worry
You’ll make it through my friend
Don’t you worry
I know that you will
If you could only
Teach yourself to chill
My husband wrote it to encourage someone close to him who was feeling down.
We doesn’t want to perform, just to sell his songs. We are looking to get a deal with a Music Publisher.
Thank you very much for listening and your opinion!
-
Not a bad song at all. Very modern sounding. I guess loads of us would love to get a deal like you describe. It's a tough old biz though and agree with all the advice that you've been given by guys who have been there and done that. Get yer hubby to get active on the forum and get involved. You will learn one helluva lot :)
-
Lyrically, pretty good, but music wise, sounds a bit like a theme tune for 80's sitcom.
i'd say try different singers, younger, female maybe, use of steel drums, strong base.
I'm not saying to go the obvious road of full reggae, but just a sprinkle, over a hip-hop arrangement might do it.
As I say, nice lyrics.
ETA, the title, nd hence the reggae reference, might be best changed. Something like Too Tight might do it.
-
Hi mrs Tobi
Nice sounding track, my ears were expecting and drop in emotion then a big crescendo for a chorus...vocally. Its has a nice tone and well produced. I hearing some nice guitar work and piano, sounded cool.
I guess I am saying more dynamics in the vocal, emotionally and in width and backing throughout the song.
But dont get me wrong, I liked it, flowed along nice and sounded good too.
Andy
-
Nice lyrics and a good vocal, love the intro, some very nice piano, good job
Mikey
-
Well written I think - rhymes are quite natural and some very nice chord changes. Personally I like a little more to grab onto in lyrics but for the genre not a problem at all.
Keys sounding really good.
I have to say I found the drums a bit distracting - maybe just a bit too high in the mix or a little too chunky for the song?
But overall a good job to my ears
-
Yo Mrs, Henry William. Welcome to here. :)
It's a solid song and the track is well produced.
I like the tone of Henry's voice,though at times it lacks a little passion,perhaps?
The lyrics are a touch bland and I understand the sentiment is honest,but it's all a bit obvious,needs more imagination.
The song is too long by at least a minute.
I'd love to hear some work done with backing vocals/harmonies etc,I think it would lift it all another notch.
Please understand,I'm just a nobody on the internet and all the above is just my opinion,there is no intention to hurt or be snarky. I believe it's a good song and Henry is an able performer,but it all needs just a little more to make it special.
Best wishes to you and Henry. 8)
-
enjoyed the song ..
and the ones that uncannily follow on soundcloud..
played them yesterday as well.. you play really well and good vocals
that wonderful band bread comes to mind, they were huge..
even us patchouli soaked hippies loved them !
not a crit but for these days i think your weak spot is in the lyric
a few reckless twists with the wordplay would help your writing to stand out
good luck
-
Thanx a lot!
Not a bad song at all. Very modern sounding. I guess loads of us would love to get a deal like you describe. It's a tough old biz though and agree with all the advice that you've been given by guys who have been there and done that. Get yer hubby to get active on the forum and get involved. You will learn one helluva lot :)
-
Thank you very much for poiting it out, very good point!
ETA, the title, nd hence the reggae reference, might be best changed. Something like Too Tight might do it.
-
Thank you very much!
Hi mrs Tobi
Nice sounding track, my ears were expecting and drop in emotion then a big crescendo for a chorus...vocally. Its has a nice tone and well produced. I hearing some nice guitar work and piano, sounded cool.
I guess I am saying more dynamics in the vocal, emotionally and in width and backing throughout the song.
But dont get me wrong, I liked it, flowed along nice and sounded good too.
Andy
-
Thanx a lot!
Nice lyrics and a good vocal, love the intro, some very nice piano, good job
Mikey
-
Thank you very much, specially for pointing out about the drums, really appreciated
Well written I think - rhymes are quite natural and some very nice chord changes. Personally I like a little more to grab onto in lyrics but for the genre not a problem at all.
Keys sounding really good.
I have to say I found the drums a bit distracting - maybe just a bit too high in the mix or a little too chunky for the song?
But overall a good job to my ears
-
Thank you very much! Very good point about the lack of passion, thank you for poiting it out. Your oppinion is much appreciated, thanx a lot! Best wishes
Yo Mrs, Henry William. Welcome to here. :)
It's a solid song and the track is well produced.
I like the tone of Henry's voice,though at times it lacks a little passion,perhaps?
The lyrics are a touch bland and I understand the sentiment is honest,but it's all a bit obvious,needs more imagination.
The song is too long by at least a minute.
I'd love to hear some work done with backing vocals/harmonies etc,I think it would lift it all another notch.
Please understand,I'm just a nobody on the internet and all the above is just my opinion,there is no intention to hurt or be snarky. I believe it's a good song and Henry is an able performer,but it all needs just a little more to make it special.
Best wishes to you and Henry. 8)
-
Thank you very much!!
enjoyed the song ..
and the ones that uncannily follow on soundcloud..
played them yesterday as well.. you play really well and good vocals
that wonderful band bread comes to mind, they were huge..
even us patchouli soaked hippies loved them !
not a crit but for these days i think your weak spot is in the lyric
a few reckless twists with the wordplay would help your writing to stand out
good luck