I have finally managed to get this "finished" (still not perfect and my voice is a bit funny from the cold I'm just recovering from).
I have made it slightly shorter by merging what where the first two verses into just one. I have also converted one of the later verses into a bridge.
What do you think? Is it better than the first attempt? I'm still not sure which version I prefer.
Thanks.
https://soundcloud.com/rhysian-gault/yellow-roses-version-2Lyrics:
Yellow Roses
There's an old lady who lives all alone
As frail as parchment, she is skin and bone.
Her family are gone now they don't have the time
for a fragile old woman with a fragile old mind.
In her garden, she grows yellow roses.
They remind her of the past
And a tear falls for every blossom
as she weeps for what's been lost.
Such beautiful Yellow Roses
When she was a young girl she had it all
the beauty and the brains, how she could enthral.
And she fell in love and married a handsome young man
They'd be together forever, well that was the plan.
At her wedding she carried yellow roses
Such a bright and happy sight
And tears of joy fell for every blossom
As she whirled around in delight.
Such beautiful yellow roses
It wasn't very long before two babies arrived
money was tight but somehow they survived
And there was love in that house, so much laughter and fun
she thought it would last but time it runs on.
Before she knew it her babies had flown the nest
She and her husband retired, hoping for some rest.
Then the illness it took him and he passed away
She felt her heart break on that saddest of days.
At his graveside were yellow roses
in bunches all around
and a tear fell for every blossom
as they laid him in the ground
Such beautiful yellow roses.
Now that he's gone she's all alone
rattling round her house on her own
waiting and hoping that someone will call
but there's no one to see her when she falls
And she falls
Now in her garden are no more roses
they're just a memory from the past
and the tears fall with every blossom
for all the good things lost
no more yellow roses
….