[StevieJ]

afternoon, I've been tasked with writing a song for a boxer I know to use as his entrance song. I was struggling with the music so decided to do my own thing on a Jay Z track - Public Service Announcement. Not sure if anyone is familiar with it but just wanted peoples thoughts on how its going so far. I do want to use my own beat eventually but it's hard when I like this one so much. Apologies in advance for not commenting on others yet, I'm just a bit of time but I will listen and comment to a good few tomorrow.

https://soundcloud.com/user-586564289/steviej-focus-on-the-enemy-x/s-FmClFsxN1Dd?si=c0b5c77b442f4188965743c364886580&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

Focus On The Enemy - Lyrics

Intro
Soak it up
listen to what they're telling me
breathe in
channel the nervous energy
breathe out
focus on the enemy
focus on the enemy

Verse 1
And when the bell rings
I’m going all in
I won’t stop until I got him fallin
I’m a be the one promotors will be calling
Once I got him feeding through a straw in the morning
This ain’t a warning
I’m just telling you what’s gunna happen
Like a prime Ricky Hatton
He’s gunna look at me and wonder how to catch him
Might need some Peas for that eyes kinda blackened
My jab sting like a bee but my uppercut will have him flattened
So throw in the towel bro and call it quits
He don’t wanna suffer another of Griffs hits
so yeaaaaah let’s face it, I’m the shit (repeat)

Break
Soak it up
Listen to what they’re telling me
Breath in
Channel the nervous energy
Breathe out
Focus on the enemy
Focus on the enemy
Focus on the enemy
Focus on the enemy

Verse 2
Let me tell you what I’m gunna do
If you dare to step back in the ring for round 2
Like 4 quarter pounders I’m a pound you
And ground you down to a pulp - man
I’m incredible like the Hulk - man
If you had a chin left you could sulk - man
But my advice would be for you walk
Forget all the talk cause I’m about the action
You just a boy getting in the way of my traction
Cause until I hit the top I won’t feel no satisfaction
Quick maths, Subtraction, take him away
Sorry bro but today’s not your day
It’s mine, so you better call it quits
Sorry but for you this is just another swing and a miss
so yeeeah let’s face it I’m the shit (repeat)

Soak it up
Listen to what they’re telling me
Breath in
Channel the nervous energy
Breathe out
Focus on the enemy
Focus on the enemy

[PaulyX]

Hey, nice work... really like the dynamics in this - the change in energy between those 'soak it up' sections and the verses works really well.  I like your delivery too, it's kinda relaxed which is my preferred kind of rap... I did wonder though if your delivery could have more of a contrast too... relaxed like this in the 'soak it up' sections but get a bit more aggressive / shouty in the verses...? would that fit the boxing vibe a bit more?  Well I'm certainly no one to give advice on how to rap (!) but I think you've got something special brewing here that should do your mate proud.

[Kafla]

I am no expert on rap but the lyrics are well crafted and delivered so big thumbs up 👍🏻

For me this section could be monumental and I would build this up to be the uncontested champion of the world

Break
Soak it up
Listen to what they’re telling me
Breath in
Channel the nervous energy
Breathe out
Focus on the enemy
Focus on the enemy
Focus on the enemy
Focus on the enemy

[moraamarolaloba]

Hola @Stevie J
It seemed to me that the lyrics are very interesting, I had never heard a song about a boxer before... It is a sport that I do not understand and that does not enter my head... Two men hitting each other... But hey, they are concepts personal that do not take interest away from your song!!! And how to say it!

[adamfarr]

I like this as it's a bit unexpected - boxing themes usually are all drama and big noise and this is a bit more brooding and relentless.

Some excellent rhyming here as always. One thing I might reconsider is "I'm the shit" - probably you don't want to give the other side an opportunity to sing "I'm shit" over the top... (not that I have an immediate alternative...).

Cool production though, like it a lot.

[pompeyjazz]

Cleverly done mate. Satisfies the criteria of the challenge. It's quite menacing as well so even more suitable for the remit. Nice work

[Skub]

Hey Stevie.

This is very cleverly done,punchy (ha) and fine creativity.

Accessible rap for people my age!