Martyn,
I like the way it come into the chorus at the start, which is catchy and the synth motif. Verse is fine.
I think it at the moment it has a and older school 80's vibe although with the right production it could be brought more up to date.
Thoughts: it needs to have more rhythmic drive, it feels a bit a bit slow. it worked well towards the end when the bass drum was pumping.The vocal fx was fine, although there was some pitchiness most noticeably in part of the chorus, the note sound odd with the change of key underneath the last play the rhythm game. Can you hear it?
The 2nd vocals need to be reigned in a bit, although I like what you're trying to do, although its a bit much towards the end.
Anyway you're on your brief, poppy.
Neil