I really like this but something about the vocals bothers me. The vocal skill and tone are there, but the performance seems disconnected from the lyrics/song. I'm searching for the words to describe it but "not fully invested" is what comes to mind. I would dig deeper into character and figure out who the lyrics are coming from and who they are speaking to.
I hope I don't sound to critical, this is a really cool song and I dig your voice. I just don't believe you had you're mind on what you were saying in this take 
cheers, hmm yeah kinda get what you mean but i'm kinda putting this down to the fact that i didnt really do a lot of takes with the vocal, i do try and get the best take before i upload the songs but at the minute i aint even got a mic set up to record, just press play on ipad garageband and sing and play guitar so in terms of getting into the vocals i reckon when i do get a proper set up i will probably get into the vocals more! appreciate your thoughts tho!
"'Cause the soul of the ghost
That prepares you for the most
Will be by your side"
That line has been stuck in my head all day.
Btw, I've been starting to get "The Meaning of Soul" by Oasis vibe from this song, the guitar at least. Idk if that was an inspiration but I dig it, becoming quite a catchy little tune I must say.
wow cheers mate, wasnt expecting a second comment like but glad its stuck in ya head haha, thats the end result for the songs we all write on here get them in peoples head!
ahh yeah big influence oasis, noel gallagher is the reason why i picked up the guitar, hmm meaning of soul not a direct influence on this but i see where you coming from as thats on em and g how it kicks off!
hi mosp
think i know where youd like to go with the song, gtr part is nice, could get a groove going with a bass drum and some percussion
your vocal chords have ideas of their own though..
try and sing as much as you can..you’ll get better, its practice and listen to all kinds of singers, how they phrase words as well...
or maybe get someone in to help, and you could focus on your gtr..
when your getting into songwriting a partner can be invaluable..
you give off a vibe with the words.. wake up deadman’s a great line..
cheers tone, appreciate your thoughts and certainly take onboard what you saying, i wouldnt say i was a singer but since joining this forum and getting some great feedback and somewhere to get my songs out for people to listen its made me really want to get into my vocals and practice and thats what i"l keep on doing and see where things go!
Loved the guitar work - loved the song actually - and because it is a minimal presentation then it will just grow and grow. But on good foundations. Tend to agree with Nooms re - singing over and over. You will really dig out the melody - its nearly there but in places just disconnects slightly (not much mind you) from the backing. Good song though - enjoyed it. BTB
cheers pleased you liked the song, yeah i think i need more practice with vocals something i never really have done and need a proper setup to record the vocals!
cheers all for your time with this one!
