I think the narrative would work better in you swapped Verse 1 for Verse 2. This way, we would know whom you're referencing. As is, you haven't established any of the characters or tone. It sounds like we've been dropped in the middle of a scene from a bodice ripper novel. And that's fine- but who are these people? [Also, be careful of clichés like "hotter than the fires of Hell". Unless, of course, you mean the literal orbs in her head were fireballs. Then I really want to hear how you managed to get that kiss!]
It sounds like this could be a fun, up-tempo romp.