The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: redrhodie on March 29, 2018, 01:56:28 PM
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Hi everyone,
Watch out there's bad language in this one! Thanks so much for listening. All feedback is really appreciated.
Listen to and Hull Soul Collective Putrefaction by faraway my lovely #np on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/user-468459034/and-hull-soul-collective-putrefaction
He says you're so stupid
He says you're being way too
Politically correct
He says what fuckin' world are you living in
You're just a girl
With no respect
And when he says your face is like
Putrefaction
He's just trying to get your reaction
He says shut your mouth
You don't know North from South
You're an idiot
He says sing my song
You're just a bitch if you don't go along
You must accept
That when he says your face is like
Putrefaction
He's just trying to get your reaction
He's well versed in the art of negging
He thinks that you'll crawl to him begging
Says your face is like Putrefaction
He's just trying to get your reaction
He's well versed in the fine art of negging
He thinks that you'll crawl to him begging
Lynn
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Just tried to listen to this guy's but the link doesn't seem to work :(
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Oh, thanks for telling me, Pompeyjazz!
I'll try to fix it.
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It's fixed now. Thanks pompeyjazz. Really appreciate that.
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Yep. Got it now and glad I did. This is a trippy delight. A lovely mellow vibe with loads of interesting stuff going on. I thought the vocals and bvs were key elements in getting the vibe right and the backing track is great. Have you noticed that a lot of guys seem to have given up on reviewing finished songs these days ? Top work guys. Off for another listen now
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A real dreamy song.
Love the echo on the guitars and all those amazing sound affects. Blends well with the vocals. Great singing.
The raw edge of the lyrics gives the song a great contrast.
Love this ....you got my reaction
Sandeep
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Yep. Got it now and glad I did. This is a trippy delight. A lovely mellow vibe with loads of interesting stuff going on. I thought the vocals and bvs were key elements in getting the vibe right and the backing track is great. Have you noticed that a lot of guys seem to have given up on reviewing finished songs these days ? Top work guys. Off for another listen now
Thanks so much for listening and the kind words. I hadn't noticed there were fewer reviews of finished songs lately. I thought it was me. Haha. (It might still be 😊).
The vibe was all Keith. I sent him the rough draft, and what I had written was kind of a show tune. Not that there's anything wrong with show tunes, but it wasn't what I wanted for this song. He reworked the rhythm and song structure, and I made the vocals fit.
A real dreamy song.
Love the echo on the guitars and all those amazing sound affects. Blends well with the vocals. Great singing.
The raw edge of the lyrics gives the song a great contrast.
Love this ....you got my reaction
Sandeep
Thanks Sandeep. Really appreciate those comments.
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Your vocals and phrasing are really lovely...this is super. The contrast between the way you sing the word “putrefaction” and it’s meaning works brilliantly.
The backing is perfect in this too...I love the drums...but the vocals steal the show.
It kind of sneaks up sweetly on the listener and then delivers a knockout blow in its message.
I like it very much.
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Yo redrhodie.
I love the way there is always a different sound on every track from you. I never know what to expect!
The quietly vicious lyrics are in sharp contrast with the mellow,flowing vibe supplied by the music. I like that incongruity. 8)
A great track indeed.
Soundcloud has blocked me and a load of others from commenting,so I can't leave anything on the track,but it's liked and reposted. Hopefully you'll get a few more listens,the song deserves it.
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Your vocals and phrasing are really lovely...this is super. The contrast between the way you sing the word “putrefaction” and it’s meaning works brilliantly.
The backing is perfect in this too...I love the drums...but the vocals steal the show.
It kind of sneaks up sweetly on the listener and then delivers a knockout blow in its message.
I like it very much.
Thanks so much, Paul. Really appreciate your comments.
Yo redrhodie.
I love the way there is always a different sound on every track from you. I never know what to expect!
The quietly vicious lyrics are in sharp contrast with the mellow,flowing vibe supplied by the music. I like that incongruity. 8)
A great track indeed.
Soundcloud has blocked me and a load of others from commenting,so I can't leave anything on the track,but it's liked and reposted. Hopefully you'll get a few more listens,the song deserves it.
Thanks Skub. I never know what to expect, either. I just go with it.
Thanks for letting me know about the comments not working. I checked my SoundCloud settings and everything is checked. But usually I get maybe one comment (loads, 😂) so I think I'll survive. Haha.
Thanks also for reposting it. That's awesome. I appreciate that.
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Another Velvets-flavoured winner.
Never thought I'd hear the word "Putrefaction" sung in a pretty way.
More of a death metal word, innit?
But it works.
I liked the wobbly ray-gun sound-effects in this too.
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Another Velvets-flavoured winner.
Never thought I'd hear the word "Putrefaction" sung in a pretty way.
More of a death metal word, innit?
But it works.
I liked the wobbly ray-gun sound-effects in this too.
Thanks Pauly. It is quite a word, haha. Glad it worked for you.
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Sweetly trippy and twisted sounds. Dark velvety atmosphere and lyrics. Great combinations. Vocals and delivery is awesome. Great stuff. I could imagine this featuring over the big important scene of a very cool and clever film :) Fantastic work, you very cool and clever people ;) cx
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Very cool vibe and I really like the theme - I can definitely visualize the protagonists. The swelling strings in the background really give it a full sound.
I was intrigued by the electronic bubbly sounds - I didn't hate them but just wondered how they fitted in with the rest!
I was also in two minds about the spoken word bit at the beginning - I think it did set a scene but I didn't really like not knowing what it was saying...
But a great listen for sure.
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Sweetly trippy and twisted sounds. Dark velvety atmosphere and lyrics. Great combinations. Vocals and delivery is awesome. Great stuff. I could imagine this featuring over the big important scene of a very cool and clever film :) Fantastic work, you very cool and clever people ;) cx
Coming from cool and clever you, I really appreciate that! Thanks Caz!
Very cool vibe and I really like the theme - I can definitely visualize the protagonists. The swelling strings in the background really give it a full sound.
I was intrigued by the electronic bubbly sounds - I didn't hate them but just wondered how they fitted in with the rest!
I was also in two minds about the spoken word bit at the beginning - I think it did set a scene but I didn't really like not knowing what it was saying...
But a great listen for sure.
Thanks Adam. Keith will hopefully weigh in on why he put the bit at the beginning. My feeling about it is it set the tone right away, so the listener could see we had a sense of humor about the whole thing.
I say "oh you scared me, hahaha!" What happened was I thought I was home alone when I was recording the vocals, and had my back to the door, and I sing with my eyes closed. So I was genuinely scared when I opened them and Dave was sitting in the room watching me. Haha. We like those kinds of happy accidents.
The synth you're questioning is a Korg MS20. Dave uses it a lot in our songs because I like it.
Thanks so much for the well thought out comments. I really appreciate the time and effort you put into this.
Lynn
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Sounds good and like the nice mellow trippy vibe and enjoyed the guitar and the other varied sounds in the backing.
Vocal sounds very appealing too.
Doesn't go too many places but it's a nice place you go to, so you get away with it. The chorus melody is good. Backing 'ooh la la's are nice.
Hate the word 'putrefaction' though....maybe because I'm old.
I like that intro bit even though I didn't know what you were saying. It gives it a kind of 'live' touch....I'm quite fond of little out takes like that...like 'Little Red Rooster' off the Howling Wolf London Sessions where he has various English guests.... Eric Clapton, Charlie Watts, Steve Winwood etc....Wolf gives a rehearsal demonstration and somebody.....Clapton I guess says something like 'well I don't know if I can do it' and Howling Wolf says 'Oh man...come on!'
Another nice trip Lynn....thanks!
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Hi Lynn
It is a great track for sure! and your vocal delivery is captivating, as I've said before. The backing music and production work really well and everything gels together nicely. A few of the lyrics got me googling but now I know what Putrefaction and negging means I realise how clever they are.
I also think it's an important message. I didn't know negging was a thing until now and I wonder how many people are being treated this way without realise it.
It's another great track from you Lynn
Thanks
Darren
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Hi Lynn!
Great song! I don't know how to describe my impression of it. A good blend of elements. Provocative drums.
Martin
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Well done, all involved.
I like the trippy vibe,
the mix seems perfect (to my ear). I've been trying to sharpen up in mixing, I think I'm gradually improving and gaining more confidence.
Mastering is a different challenge for me.
Never mind, I'll get quite far before I give up.
I really like the voice, seems vulnerable and strong.
I hope the subject matter isn't taken from personal experience.
I've never known men to be so mean with their ladies but I've heard the rare story where this happens.
Thanks for sharing.
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As stated above, the contrast between the trippy track and the dark lyrics is great, and its well performed and has great vocals
Very nice, Mikey
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Thanks so much, @Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra. Putrefaction is an awesome word, but I see your point, (and doubt you're older than me, but a lady never tells her age ::)). Haha. I love those little out takes, too.
@Darren1664 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20970), I think it's an old tactic that's just recently been given that name. When I read about it, I realized it had happened to me when I was young. Thanks for listening and googling. I hope this song becomes a public service announcement.
Hi @Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219). I appreciate the kind words. Mostly it's about what I imagine it must be like for a woman embarking on a career in the entertainment industry, where I think it's pretty common for women to be treated badly.
Thanks so much @Mikey (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20986). I'm glad you liked the trip!
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Hi Lynn!
Great song! I don't know how to describe my impression of it. A good blend of elements. Provocative drums.
Martin
Thanks Martin. I don't know how to describe it, either. Haha. It kind of had a will of its own. Keith will be pleased you like the drums.
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Dreamy is right! Really love this. And the backing vocals are AWESOME!!!
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Lynn, Keith
I'm liking this, not too weird, I was a little bit scared seeing the title...
Anyway it's catchy slow song which provides a great backdrop for fabulous vocal delivery. Icey, languid and beguiling all round together.
Perhaps it should be on new version of Twin Peaks!
Hypnotic
:) :)
Neil
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Hello Lynn, :D
What a cool song! I enjoyed the whole vibe and yes il admit I asked google what “Putrefaction” & “negging” was! ::) haha! Well thank god Putrefaction “Sings” better than it means. It’s a great hook. ;)
The production worked well also. No nits from me. Great stuff! :D
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Really nice listen, I like the relaxed vibe of it. That is something I struggle with in my songs, keeping things open like this so well done!
I think the whole NSFW tag is perhaps a little much, it's not that offensive surely?!
Loved particular the non-harmony bass notes in the chorus, really unsettling in a great way.
Nicely done
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Hi Lynn
Really cool vibe, nice L and BVox , you've definitely got your 'sound', for your brand, which takes quite a bit of work to establish.
Can't add much really, LOVE the start, my cup of start.
Sounds a bit '60's to me, imagine a vintage kit, with the Ronnettes in the back line, at dance tempo, tambourines, driving bass....wearing a black and white check vinyl dress with a beehive. On early '60's Top Of The Pops, I'd wear a cardigan and slacks with long hair, shirt with my top button done up.
The pulsing synth @2:17 could pan L/R maybe..
What does NSFW mean? I thought it was a state in Australia!
Didn't find it offensive at all.
Cool song
cpm
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Hi, really enjoyed this,the lead and backing vocals sound great together and theres a cool vibe to the song. Very melodic and the metronomic drums give it that trippy feel.
Excellent!
Cheers
Jamie
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Dreamy is right! Really love this. And the backing vocals are AWESOME!!!
Thanks Mutrins! I'm so glad you like it.
Lynn, Keith
I'm liking this, not too weird, I was a little bit scared seeing the title...
Anyway it's catchy slow song which provides a great backdrop for fabulous vocal delivery. Icey, languid and beguiling all round together.
Perhaps it should be on new version of Twin Peaks!
Hypnotic
:) :)
Neil
Oh, I love that idea. I would hope I could be in it, singing on a red velvet draped stage, wearing a trench coat and red stilettos. Yeah.
Thanks Neil.
Hello Lynn, :D
What a cool song! I enjoyed the whole vibe and yes il admit I asked google what “Putrefaction” & “negging” was! ::) haha! Well thank god Putrefaction “Sings” better than it means. It’s a great hook. ;)
The production worked well also. No nits from me. Great stuff! :D
Thanks Lost Boy. I didn't know the word before I got it in a comment. Haha. It wasn't meant to be mean, but it stuck with me and caused some pondering.
Glad you liked it.
Really nice listen, I like the relaxed vibe of it. That is something I struggle with in my songs, keeping things open like this so well done!
I think the whole NSFW tag is perhaps a little much, it's not that offensive surely?!
Loved particular the non-harmony bass notes in the chorus, really unsettling in a great way.
Nicely done
Thanks for commenting, tb. I had asked Boydie if it was okay to post songs with swearing, and he said it's fine if I warn everyone. No, the language isn't that bad in this day and age. Haha.
Hi Lynn
Really cool vibe, nice L and BVox , you've definitely got your 'sound', for your brand, which takes quite a bit of work to establish.
Can't add much really, LOVE the start, my cup of start.
Sounds a bit '60's to me, imagine a vintage kit, with the Ronnettes in the back line, at dance tempo, tambourines, driving bass....wearing a black and white check vinyl dress with a beehive. On early '60's Top Of The Pops, I'd wear a cardigan and slacks with long hair, shirt with my top button done up.
The pulsing synth @2:17 could pan L/R maybe..
What does NSFW mean? I thought it was a state in Australia!
Didn't find it offensive at all.
Cool song
cpm
Thanks cpm. I'd love to have a beehive, and long fake lashes. Haha. I was born a little too late. Thanks so much for the ideas. NSFW is not safe for work, just in case people are slacking off instead of working (I can't imagine anyone would do that 😊)! Don't want you to get in Trouble!
Hi, really enjoyed this,the lead and backing vocals sound great together and theres a cool vibe to the song. Very melodic and the metronomic drums give it that trippy feel.
Excellent!
Cheers
Jamie
Thanks Jamie. I love adding background vocals. It's kind of my most favorite part of recording. It makes me wonder if I missed my calling as a Supreme. Haha.
I'm glad you liked it.
Thanks again everyone for all the awesome feedback. Really appreciate your time and effort in responding. Means a lot to me.
Lynn