[crystalsuzy]

https://soundcloud.com/crystalsuzy/walking-through-a-minefield

Hi Everybody,
I'm finally feeling a little better after being hit by a bug that just didn't want to leave
This song is a work in progress...I really appreciate your constructive reviews...you guys are awesome
I'll try and post the lyrics in a few days
Thanks again for taking the time to review all these songs

OK guys...here's this song revised, taking your suggestions, so I hope this works better...let me know what you think I've kept the first version up on SC so you can compare if you've forgotten how it sounded

I guess I should have said more about why I wrote this song in the beginning...many years ago I had the privilege of spending several months with an enlightened master who taught me how to meditate, which opened up a whole new world for me, so it was a pretty major event in my life...I feel I was blessed to have had this experience, so this song means a lot to me...thanks

https://soundcloud.com/crystalsuzy/walking-through-a-minefield-c

Here's the lyrics:

I was walking through a minefield everyday
And in my mind I heard hey hey hey
What's going on
It shouldn't be like this

Then early one spring I heard a wise man say
Come with me and I'll show you the way
The journey may be long you might stumble too
But hey lost soul what you got to loose
Got to loose, hey lost soul what you got to loose...ahh's (walikng through a minefield)

A strange and secret word was given to me
I closed my eyes and began to repeat
It wasn't long before I realized
Peaceful bliss lies deep inside
Deep inside, peaceful bliss lies deep inside...ahh's (walking through a minefield)

He said my child you must be diligent
This knowledge you've been given is God sent
If you dip deep inside everyday
Those mean old minefields will fade away
Fade away, those mean old minefields will fade away...ahh's

So off I went with my new God sent
I knew somehow that I was meant
To listen to this man cause he spoke the truth
And if I followed him he's guide me through

Footsteps on the path of my life's quest
Many'd gone before through this dense forest
Searching for the same elusive pond
Like a strong magnet it pulls us on and on
On and on, like a strong magnet it pulls us on and on...ahh's

Many years have past and there is no doubt
This master knew what he was talking about
Cause deep in the waters of my consciousness
I found my way to eternal bliss, eternal bliss,
I found my way to eternal bliss...ahh's (no more minefields)

[Dave Bradley]

It's got a groovy beat...unusual sound too (to my ears) to have the doubled/duet. I might rearrange slightly so that different parts are one or the other voice and duet on chorus...

[S.T.C]

I liked it CS..it`s got good rhythm .....keep at it , and i`m sure it will be  all fine when you`ve finished .

[Saeed AlSuri]

I liked it too ..

keep it up ..

may be piano level little low ..

cheers

[terrysains]

Enjoyed without a doubt, I felt that more could have been done with, (I'M) "Walking through a minefield" it could of  been used more as a hook line throughout the song  as it is a great line . Just my humble. Terry Sains.

[Neil C]

interesting intro, with neat guitar sound. Rolls along nicely. Intro vocals sounded a bit odd, but as per the last song the harmonies and vocals get better as the song develops..

Neil

[calmlondon]

I'm  hearing a Nouvelle Vague vibe. Groovy track and well produced demo with a live feel to it. I really like songs that keep you on your feet and have their own logic.

The intro didn't work well for me as is but I get what you're doing. The vocal harmonies need tightening up bit. 

Good innovative modern sounding jazzy track.

[Boydie]

I think the constant double vocal is diluting the impact of the vocal a bit and is making some sections sound a little "messy"

I would be tempted to just have a single vocal for the verses and save the double vocal for key accent words/phrases and during the "chorus" sections for maximum impact

All double tracking and harmonies need to be "tightened up" but you may be OK if you use them sporadically throughout the track rather than all the way through

The backing track is top notch and groovy as hell!!!!!

The high pitched "shimmer" sound effect is a little high in the mix for me

Always nice to hear octave guitar licks!

The intro and outro are not working for me

It is always nice to hear that a writer/artist has a clear identity after listenining to a track and there is definitely a retro feel to what you are doing - I liked the "groovy 60s" vibe but I also got an "80s" vibe within the female vocal, which was nice

[darreldo]

Enjoyed the bass and the guitar work. the solo in the middle was very trippy. i agree with boydie regarding the 60s and 80s vibe. I had abit of bananarama floating round in my head!!
I also agree that the constant double vocal is abit too much, i would have just one vocal and have a backer come in at times. ive listened to your other songs on soundcloud. ive noticed that is a recurring theme in your songs. great piece of work though

[Dogmax]

Ill keep this short because I'm dancing again. 

This is cool cool and again, so so cool, WOW, can i move. 

Great song, Thanks.   

[chip88]

Love the vibe of this

Personally would really like to hear a tiny bit more separation between the main vocal and the vocal that enters at 38seconds. The BV just gets lost a little bit, maybe try scooping a tiny bit of bass or adding a bit more high end to the male vocal to find/add a little more clarity to it.

Cool song though!

Chip

[crystalsuzy]

Hi guys,
I was in the city for a few days and just got back...thanks so much for all your suggestions and encouraging comments...I totally agree with the suggestions regarding the constant harmony throughout the song and will definitely makes some changes there...I know that a lot of my songs tend to be the same in that regard, so need to work on that one...I guess I'm a little nervous about singing totally on my own because I don't think I have that great a solo voice...I will try posting a song with only myself singing next time
I'll also try to do something with the intro/outro...I'm not sure if it wasn't working for you Boydie, Neil and calmlondon because of the way it is sung or just whole thing...what would you suggest?
I like your suggestion terrsains about tying to use more of the 'walking through a minefield'
Thanks again

[digger72]

HI Crystal et al,

Great musicianship. The vocals work well together, although i agree I would have liked to hear some to and fro between them rather than double track all the way. Nice effect on the guitar solo and some lovely bits of sound floating in and out. It was like a jazzy/funky B-52s track.
Definitely got your own thing going on which a good thing.

All the best,

Digger

[James Nighthawk]

Crazy little trip here! Enjoyed it as I have all of your stuff

As far as song structure goes you are there. Some of the vocals could use a little more clarity and oomph., and the odd pitching wobble. This, and the meandering exit are the only real "Work in progress" banners for me.

Loved the guitar solo sound and playing

JNx

[seriousfun]

Very cool track.  Lots of changes and always something new and different to hold attention. Thought the piano was very good. The intro clashed a little. I think it was the heavy reverb and effects on the vocal just didn't let it sit comfortable wit the rest of the song. I would look at tweaking the effects back on the intro and see if it sounds better.

Nice song, liked it a lot.