Hi Adam,
Thanks for the message.
Yes i can explain what i mean...
In the first two verses you talk about yourself. During those first two verses you never mention that you are in any way a broken man. What you do say is that your still the same person just a little older wiser etc.
That is what i got from reading those two verses.
Then we enter the chorus and you ask to be fixed?
In order to be fixed you first need to be broken.
So i would look back on your first two verses and try to mention that you are broken in someway shape or form cos if you do that then when we get to your chorus the impact is going to be so much stronger all round because you have set the listener up for that great opening line in your chorus. BAM more impact!
Maybe say something in your verses like i'm broken but i'm not blue or my hearts been broken cos of you.
Something needs to be said within those first two verses to allow that great opening line to hit home in the chorus. imo.
Two key elements to your songs message is that you are broken and need fixing.
So when the 3rd verse kicks in you could then move on to talk about how your life has been going since she broke your heart/spirit etc giving more detail to the listener.
eg: 3 rd verse could start like....
i might be broken
but i'm still living etc...
more lyrics like this will help to keep you on point with being broken and needing those listening wanting to fix you etc.
I hope i've explained myself clearly enough Adam.
Please don't take offensive, they are just my own personal thoughts on what i would look at for lyrics like this to get them stronger and clearer than they already are.
Johnny