[rightly]

Right Rightly,

Let me start off with, I like it. I didn't think I did but I do. This for me is one of those that you need to hear more than once to appreciate and grows with each listen. Nothing wrong with that, a lot of the best songs have that quality I think.

Yep, just listened again and it's a grower alright.

You mentioned that it sometimes needs an explanation at gigs and I get that, if it's a grower and they only get one listen, most people probably won't appreciate it first time. It would probably go on to be one of there favourites if they had your album though.

A few of the reasons why I think it's a grower and maybe doesn't translate so well at gigs are as follows. These aren't necessarily bad points just observations.

1. The guitar playing style remains largely constant throughout. As this is the only instrument, there are few cues to signpost the sections of the song. The audience need to learn where the different parts are without them being signposted for them with things such as drum fills or ' I only play it like this on the chorus'

2. The rhythm and phrase lengths of the melody seem to vary quite a lot. Interesting but more difficult to remember for an audience so it doesn't get stuck in the head so quickly.

3. You use your hook melody 'almost a baby' for other lines too 'knock a door run' I really like the knock a door run part but just when the audience thinks yeah I've got the melody, with that melody we sing 'almost a b...no hang on a minute it's knock a do...

4. The lyrics are great but they won't be immediately relatable to a large number of people. Some people will have to think about them and form an attachment. I for one tend not to notice lyrics too much without forcing myself to focus on them. For people like me, with one listen, the only thing that will hook me is melody, harmony and rhythm.

Anyway, these are just my observations. As I said they're not bad points and I wouldn't necessarily change them. Some of these are what make the song unique and give it character.

I feel I must end by saying again that I like it (more now after 5 listens than when I started writing this post)

Yodasdad

Thanks Yodasdad
I don't have the time to respond in full right now.
I've already read your post twice and I should read it again and give it some consideration.

I really like this kind of feedback, it's very constructive.
I know it's a rough song. Thought provoking.
It has a strange effect on the audience. Immediately after playing it they're very quiet, then I use that quiet attention and deliver something that's smoother and heartfelt.

must go now
Really glad you liked the song. ev'rybody does 

[boolio]

Hi,

Good listen from the start, a story well told and definitely a musical equivalent of a 'page turner'

Also it's always difficult imho to make a guitar and voice alone sound compelling but you've ahieve this here with real style

Phil

[rightly]

Hi,

Good listen from the start, a story well told and definitely a musical equivalent of a 'page turner'

Also it's always difficult imho to make a guitar and voice alone sound compelling but you've ahieve this here with real style

Phil

Hey, Thanks, Phil! 
reading yourcomment is a great way to start my day.
stay tuned the best is yet to come.

[PaulAds]

Challengingly enigmatic once more...

There seems to be a strange Jekyll/Hyde thing about your songs...tender and brutal

Most thought-provoking...long may you fascinate.

[HenryOFarrell]

This is great, especially the guitar part (it's awesome)!!!

[rightly]

Challengingly enigmatic once more...

There seems to be a strange Jekyll/Hyde thing about your songs...tender and brutal

Most thought-provoking...long may you fascinate.

Hey thanks. I intend to fascinate for as long as I can actively live.
Jekyll n Hyde, yes, why not?
I think the best songs and stories have contrast n contours.
They're stand alone songs.
 Come to think of it, I could break it up, make an  album, consciously writing several songs to narrate one story.

 Who listens to albums though? 
That'd be difficult to do.
I could do it if I maintain a high level excellence over a long time.

Thanks bud.

[Oldbutyet]

Perfect, you let your fingers play you let your vocals sing lyrics and both working great together, you got a free flow that works, great to hear your songs   

[delb0y]

I like this a lot - vocals and guitars are great. Lyrics are very interesting - and though you explained the meaning behind the song I still didn't get most of the lyrics, and can thus understand why live it might make a few people scratch their heads. But then, many many songs have such lyrics. Great rhythm and feel, too. Well done. Going back for another listen now.

[rightly]

I like this a lot - vocals and guitars are great. Lyrics are very interesting - and though you explained the meaning behind the song I still didn't get most of the lyrics, and can thus understand why live it might make a few people scratch their heads. But then, many many songs have such lyrics. Great rhythm and feel, too. Well done. Going back for another listen now.

Thanks Oldbutyet!!

And thanks Delboy!!

It's still strange for me to get positive feedback from more talented folk.
it's very encouraging.

I don't mind folk scratching their heads after a performance.
I think, for me, the best songs don't always make perfect (or direct) sense to the concious mind.
For me a good song will leave plenty room for the listeners own interpretation, the song is personalised this way and thus becomes stronger.
Performances of this song do actually work quite well. Listeners will sense something happening, something of substance and mystery.
A more direct song, dynamic and passionately performed can follow, and Bob's your Uncle.

My best songs haven't been written yet. (But they're still mine. lol.)

Feedback from this site is positively effective.

[digger72]

Hi

Really enjoyed the vocal style - it has a preachy, accusational tone - really direct. Well judged aggression. Sets the vibe of the song well.

The guitar part was interesting - just as I thought I'd latched on to the groove, it moved a little - which I like. It keeps the listener unsettled, which perhaps in a strange way moves the focus on to the key part - the vocal and lyrics.

Good stuff.

Digger

[MartynRich]

I really love the guitar playing on this one Rightly, it has such a cool, laid-back rhythmic style...it really is unique and is kind of becoming your signature style. The lyrics are strong in my opinion and I love how you deliver them...really nice song all round. Cant add much more than that for now!