[habiTat]

Hi

 I originally posted this song about a month ago, as a slow, strummy track, after a rewrite I posted it again but it still wasn't right. I requested help and Kafla kindly offered to sort an arrangement for me. When I got it back it just felt so different to how I'd imagined that I had to sit on it.. not sure how to proceed.  

Here is the original melody, Kaf arranged it all around a version of this melody, what I guess I'm really after is some advice on where to take this, I don't think it does Kaf's track justice. Do I re-record the mad version (better) or try to elaborate on this original?

https://soundcloud.com/habitatsongs/mind-meander-kafla-mix

Mad version (very bad vocal)
https://soundcloud.com/habitatsongs/mad-mind-meander


and the original if you want to hear it
 https://soundcloud.com/habitatsongs/mind-meander-reworked    


Any ideas?

Do I
Live in a dream . . .
Circles windmills
Tumble in my
Mind it's such a rush

Do I
See pretty things
Kaleidoscopic
Spirals spin my
Eyes it's such a buzz

Am I even here at all
Am I even here at all
If I lay but still I fall

Ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh

Can I
Just float away
Air is crisply
Cutting at my throat
Here as I fade

I
Am I alive
Majestic dancing
Melodies they make me
Doubt my life

Am I even here at all
Am I even here at all
If I lay but still I fall

It tells me a story
Takes hold of my hand
Leads me away to another land
Backwardly tumbling
Through an infinite space
Am I the only one who sees this?
Its so real that I can taste

Time..
It soldiers on
Mechanic-ally
Marching as the
Bells ring in my ears

Life
Or perfect dream
Orreries of
Clockwork stars
The future and the past

Am I even here at all
Am I even here at all
If I lay but still I fall

Am I even here at all
Am I even here at all
If I lay but still I fall[/i]

[Dutchbeat]

ah yes, of course

that issss very worth recording!
very worthy, but the vocals need to be more spot on, in my opinion

don't get this wrong, but i even would advise considering that you and Kafla sing this together
not that i know you can't sing it yourself, habi, i know you can sing spot on!

but i just want to bring up the idea that you both sing it all the way, the two of you, loud, full

this singing melody, hit potential for sure!
great work, Habi and Kaf

just my first 2 eurocents worth of thoughts

[habiTat]

but the vocals need to be more spot on, in my opinion

haha yep, in my opinion too, it sounded ok on headphones, in the heat of the moment, so to speak  But I realised after I'd posted it, when I listened back on the laptop, it is VERY dodgy, probably my worst vocal yet 

Ah well, thats what you get when you just record without practicing 

I'm not sure how a duet would work, good idea though

Cheers Dutchy

[Binladeda]

Hi Kaf...Not bad for a 'meander' mate.  I preferred the vocals in the lower register and thought it was really crying out for backing vocals. I think you've got the vocal melody pretty much nailed and really like the repeated 'Am I here at all',  I think you could make more of that, It's really quite hooky   Nice loose strumming, and beautiful string arrangement.  Loved the overall feel, and groove of the song. Might need some sort of counter melody somewhere, just to add a bit more interest.  Maybe an acoustic guitar lead  .....Maybe not Great work guys

[habiTat]

I've edited it above,  sorry for messing everyone about  

[andy5544]

Liked it lots , your dodgy vocals are better than my best 
Maybe leave the nursery rhyme off the end.
Excellent tune.

[Dutchbeat]

hey guys, so extremely cool, i love it

hence the comments, you know

[habiTat]

Thanks Dutch, Bin and Andy.

I've totally screwed this whole thread up, sorry

What I wanted with this song was to make it deliberately odd, and dream like. (hence the nursery rhyme and the stuff on the very first version)

Trouble is, too odd and it'll just be, well, odd 

[Pez]

The original mix is the best with just you the guitar and afew harmonies . The other mixes fog the sentiment for me. That said, if I wer to redo the original,not that the original needs redoing, I'd get some maniac smashing the drums up whilst I mash the axe through a fuzz face andhave a bass running through a bigg muff pi pedal.  ... Not that I own either of them pedals but still....

This is a great track , as is the next one that comes on which I've heard before. I wanna say lighthouse family. Not sure that's an accurate reflection as I own nothing by them but its what sprung to mind.

Keep it up. Use more distortion! Pez

[Neil C]

I prefer the more acoustic version. I think you've got to decide whether its a gentle meandering reflective tune or you want to build into a more powerful song. The chorus and your vocals can take it if you want.The synths hint at an off beat and give it a different feel.

So i'd decided which way to go. Once you're clear then you'll know what to do amend or re-record. Look forward to hearing how this turns out.
 
Neil
 

[Kafla]

I would hate this to turn into a 'what version do you like thread'

I offered to produce something for Habitat as I felt the track was uplifting, bittersweet - I had this idea in my head of a kind of 'lightning seeds' type pop song

Paul Vasey often says to me producing a song is like putting on a coat in the morning and dependent on your mood you can decide what coat to wear.

I think its safe to say that Habitat is unsure of what I have done - but its just my interpretation of the song - not better or worse - just a different coat

I also think the version I did were I mixed the vocals is far better - they dont really sit nicely in this version - they dont have the same master effects - and I built my production around the way Habi sung on this version - the phrasing , tone etc - I also used a little auto tune on Habi's voice.

Its good to collaborate for all parties involved -  too often we want to post something thats finished - perfect even - but its good to get feedback on something different

Take a chance!!!!

[habiTat]

Hey Kaf,

I wanted to say that the arrangement and all that you did with it is excellent, that was never an issue, it was more how to work with it, from my end. The mix that you first sent me, with the original vocal I'd given you, didn't sit well with me. My vocal IMO sounded a bit flat and out of time with the arrangement, I think maybe now that it's my own perception of my voice, as your songs are always so well mixed. Maybe it's my ear to the auto tune. I wasn't aware you'd done that, I just remember listening and instantly thinking my vocal sounded a bit off. I didn't think it did all your hard work justice, hence the re record and subsequent other attempt to inject a bit of energy.

I feel a bit like I've handled this all wrong, I should have worked more with you on it if I wasn't happy, rather than stick it all up on here. I hope you don't think I've presented your work in a bad light, I was just trying to bring the standard of my part up to fit your part better. Sorry

Just to complete the picture for anyone following this, and to be fair to Kafla, here is the full Kafla mix http://dl.dropbox.com/u/86336083/Mind%20Meander.m4a

[James Nighthawk]

What an interesting thread 

I think this song of yours Hab is one of those open songs that can go in many directions.

Your original mix has a great simplicity, an honest feel.

Kaf is well on his way to his intended "Lightning Seeds" style mix (blimey, blast from the past there, I have their best-of somewhere!!) And this mix works too.

But this could go many ways!

Me: Were I on the desk, I would go for either

- a "U2" style mix, starting small and building to a full band, layered delayed guitars etc.
- a "chillout" mix with warm synths and electronic bubbling beats for the post club types. Think David Grey meets Air.

Some of the songs I am working on at the moment I intend to do some remixes of. I have one song that will have a funk mix and an acoustic mix. Another that will be two types of house music - one with real drums and guitars (think "Moloko") and the 2nd mix far more electro and heavy.

remixing is great, and a great way build your audience (Boydie might want to chime in here! )

Good point Kaf re different day different feel. Production is changeable. Pretentious ...Moi?!

JNxx

[andy5544]

They all sound good to me 
When Ron and i work together we always run the results past each other for the ok before it gets posted anywhere , that way theres no shocks . Also when you both have a good listen one will pick up
on things the other missed .   

[garys2811]

I like the kafla mix a lot. Every track needs a good foundation and that always comes down to the quality of the song. It's a good song, a good arrangement and a good vocal performance. I like the idea are you living or dreaming great. Whats not to like !!!
Well doen on the collaboration!!