The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: delb0y on August 20, 2016, 04:35:50 PM
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I posted these lyrics in the lyrics forum and they were well received so I thought I'd work them up into a song. Just a blues and I know such things aren't overly popular here, but hell, I am what I am (*), so here it is. I choose Melody # 3 for this one as I haven't used it for a couple of songs.
Just normal stuff recording-wise - the Tanglewood via a USB mic into Sonar, cars and dishwasher in the background. One take all round except for the second rhythm guitar where I kept getting my majors and minors in the wrong place and it took me about six goes!
I can hear this with piano and upright bass and a tenor sax. But in my imagination is where such things will stay :-\
(*) That's another song!
The King of the Blues
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13436572 (http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13436572)
I was standing at the crossroads, when I saw the hearse roll by
Someone said it was the King of the Blues, somebody started to cry
Close behind came a Dixie band and the Saints went marching on
Then there were flowers and women in black and the King of the Blues was gone
The first time that I heard him, was down on Bourbon Street
In a bar so warm yet when he played his horn, he still turned up the heat
If he played for an hour or if he played all night, he always played our favourite songs
And there's something different about the city tonight now that the King of the Blues is gone
They say that the King lives on, through the music that he played
But that's a lie and I still cry for the records that he never made
For all those safe-bet boy-band record men, got all their attitudes wrong
And it's too late to record him now, for the King of the Blues is gone
Try to imagine a train in the night or a riverboat rollin' by
The sound of the breeze through the willow trees, the glory of an eagle's cry
Stop and listen to all you can, it'll be quiet before too long
You're already too late to hear the best now that the King of the Blues is gone
The lyrics as written are better than the ones I sang - my memory was imperfect, and I didn't have the words in front of me.
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Melody #3? I like it. Works well with the lyric. I would especially like to hear the sax you spoke of. Yeah, the piano and bass, too.
I noticed some of the words you sang were different from the printed lyric; I especially liked the change from "safe-bet" to "hot shot"! Much better.
I'm pretty sure I would love to learn this song, but I'm getting worried that the list of songs I want to learn is getting longer than the remainder of my life span.... :-\ :P
Vicki
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Thanks Vicki. A bit of a first - I finished this one this afternoon and gigged it this evening. Very quick turnaround. It went well - so it may well find a permanent place in the set :)
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Del,
Nice work here and personally I love the blues. Enjoyed the lyrics and comfortable backing, an btw I think your imagination is right. A simple bass snare and upright would provide a terrific backdrop but its cool as it is anyway.
Gonna have another list.
:)
Neil
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Fab work Del...love the whole feel. Who said blues are not popular here? Not me, I love this type of stuff.
Your voice has great personality and your guitar work is excellent as always. Next time I am in the UK I must catch you live...I would also love to have a go at adding some bass and drums if you want. PM me if you're interested.
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A great blues/ country song.
I'm surprised that the lyrics weren't well received....as usual from you they are excellent.
Love the guitars.
I'm sure this will/ does go down live.
Sandeep
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Hi Derek
If that's the blues - I love it!
I usually think of blues as some drawn out lamentful 12 bar variety (which I have to be in the mood for). This one reminded me of VM's "Moon Dance" which is one of my all-time favs. Super guitar playing, lyrics, vocals etc - hard to critique as I get drawn into feeling it rather than hearing it if that makes sense.
Would love to hear it live - when R you touring Canada?
Paul
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Well,this is purdy lil bluegrass/rag thang del.
The multitracked guitars work so well together,giving the song impetus without the aid of percussion or bass.
A wonderful listen,Derek. 8)
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derek im realy disapointed i cant hear this ...ive tried every computer in our house & it keeps saying something like security access denied?? what does that mean? have you got this song in a bank vault or something?
i cannot get soundclick to play lately >:(
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Hi Tinam
Not sure what's happening with Sound click. It's working for me. Anyway I've dropped a version on YT.
Hope you like it.
Cheers
Derek
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now thats better!
it sounds fabulous with the 2 guitars & your playing some great jazzy licks
i realy loved the lyrics.. you tell a great little story & it drew me in & i wanted to know all about the king of the blues... in fact blues lyrics are usually so boring you are definitely king of the blues lyrics id say!
& the melody wasnt cliched at all ..whats this about melody no.3 ,,,i dont think ive ever heard it before?
anyway we have a gypsy site near us & last year the road at the bottom of ours was completely choked with cars & people & police ...& it was bcos the king of the gypsies had died evidently
& i never even knew we had royalty living so close
i wonder if the Queen and prince philip have got a caravan
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Hi Derek
Hope you dont mind but im just going to dive in here, ive listen to your song a few times and something just doesn't sound right now maybe im wrong but im just going to go for it, it sounds to me like you're singing not to the blues of the lyrics but to your guitar flow i mean your third verse, for me i was expecting low with the vocals and sing with the flow of the blues but you kept with the flow of the guitar, from what i remember about great blues singers they sing the blues the guitar plays the blues but they're on different sides but keeping together with that flow of the blues, dont get me wrong you got a great song but to me something just doesn't sound right.
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Thanks all for your comments and the time spent listening - much appreciated.
Melody # 3 ... Well this came up when we were talking about the mistakes beginners make when writing songs and one of the points was sticking very closely to chords. Melody # 3 (I just made that up as a reference - I don't actually have a list of them, but I do use the same few melodies and tricks over and over) pretty much stays on the root note and drops to the 7th as the Amin becomes an Amin7. And then goes back to the same A note and G note as the chords change behind (F and C) so it sounds like something is happening when in fact it isn't... In other words it's pretty much two notes, which I can just about manage. My point is, it's something I often do to avoid having to actually, well, sing.
Oldbutyet, I'm not sure I follow what you're getting out but I'd love to know more - always happy to understand what's not working for someone. I call this a blues because, to me, a blues isn't about a form or 12 bars (or 8, or 16), but a feel and an emotion. So I'm not doing the normal blues vocal thing - and I am indeed following the groove with my vocal - and that groove is why the lead guitar is playing throughout rather than just in the gaps. I'm interested to explore further if you mean something else.
Cheers
D
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Love this Del. There's some great guitar playing and your voice sounds really gritty, earthy and real. Great story, I'm sure this goes down a storm in your live set.
Cheers
John
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Delboy,
Usuallu blues is not really my style, but I enjoyed having a listen to this track.
Your voice, once again, adds a lovely extra layer of quality to great guitar work.
Fantastic stuff...and as others have said, I'm sure it goes down well in your live set!
Paul :)
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Hey there Derek.....I don't know how this one escaped me :'(...but, now that I'm here........Good one!
I really like the guitar playing, as usual. Singing good, and your writing is as pointed and clear, as ever.
As for the subject, there were a bunch of Kings, but I'm thinking BB King ??? Right?
Nice one.....could use a harmonica ;)
8)-Tom
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I have to say not many songs draw me in immediately but this one did for sure, really like how it flowed.
Would liked to have heard a few more bars of lead guitar after second and third verse but that is only my preference
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Man,so many people on this forum are just consistently brilliant and you're one of them mate.This took me back to my honeymoon in New Orleans...really cool stuff mate.
Kudos
Leo ;D
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Christ, you can play that acoustic - reminds me of JJ Cale with those lovely little fills and runs. This is a very strong song beautifully sung - probably your best vocal so far. I would also say that's it's probably my favourite songs of yours so far. Stunning throughout - makes me want to give up trying to write and play because I'll never get this good.
Right up my street, I know but I love it. Perfect, No nits.
M