[Dave Bradley]

I came up with a little chord progression and ad libbed a melody and a few words into my phone this morning...then did a second take (after transcribing the words and editing them a little) with my guitar plugged into my DAW and a proper microphone...it's still a demo mix...I'll add a drumtrack and live bass later...

Okay, when I said I'd add a drumtrack, I ended up doing some "beatboxing" and rearranging the song somewhat, bringing in a bridge and chorus and recording a bass guitar line

Current version - https://soundcloud.com/sciencebase/hellish-water

(Original version with no chorus and no beatboxing https://soundcloud.com/sciencebase/sail-me-to-hell)

[GTB]

Hi SB, this is really good; lyrics keep the interest up, vocals really good and guitar fantastic - love all those fx.  I really like the way you've picked out just the strings you want and haven't just blasted the full chords all over it.  Mind you, with the title I was expecting it to sound like Iron Maiden ;-)
GTB

[Dave Bradley]

Hi SB, this is really good; lyrics keep the interest up, vocals really good and guitar fantastic - love all those fx.  I really like the way you've picked out just the strings you want and haven't just blasted the full chords all over it.  Mind you, with the title I was expecting it to sound like Iron Maiden ;-)
GTB

Many thanks. Glad you liked it. I'm doing a lot of that kind of picking out of broken chords and arpeggios rather than just full on strumming, it's fun to do and gives an opportunity for more variation within a simple progression than I'd otherwise produce.

By the way, I originally called it "Sail me to Hell" but that seemed a bit esoteric, the new title makes me think, not of Maiden, but AC/DC, they're the ones who did a lot of hellish stuff ;-) But, yes, it's definitely not a metalist song.

[Kafla]

I really , like this Science - its quite melodic and has a familiar sound that kind of makes it universal

Nice backing vocals

It could do with a change somewhere - into a chorus - get that right and you have a hit 

[Dave Bradley]

I really , like this Science - its quite melodic and has a familiar sound that kind of makes it universal

Nice backing vocals

It could do with a change somewhere - into a chorus - get that right and you have a hit 

Thanks for listening...it does just go on...no change...realised after I'd finished mixing it down that it's somewhat reminiscent of Little Wing and that song just rolls along too...

[beckylucythomas]

How did you do this all in one morning??? You must be supersongwriterman!

I love the lyrics "I'm floating on a wake of trouble, I wish you wary on your way, Send my love to the waves, get me out of this trouble, or sail me to hell all the way" and the guitar solo that follows at 1.53 is really cool - want more of that!!! 

Are you planning more work on it?

[Stylus]

Hi Sciencebase
                        Woohoooo  Little wing (Me likes )   I like this & Its got appeal  are you putting any bass on it I was expecting it to  psumami upwards as it progressed.
               Very appealing                                     Nice!             Stylus

[Dave Bradley]

How did you do this all in one morning??? You must be supersongwriterman!

I love the lyrics "I'm floating on a wake of trouble, I wish you wary on your way, Send my love to the waves, get me out of this trouble, or sail me to hell all the way" and the guitar solo that follows at 1.53 is really cool - want more of that!!! 

Are you planning more work on it?

Hah! It just spills out...glad you liked it. Yes, this was just a two-take demo, I'm hoping to redo it as one of my attempts at being a one-man power trio, once I get time to work on the drums and add a bass line

[Dave Bradley]

Hi Sciencebase
                        Woohoooo  Little wing (Me likes )   I like this & Its got appeal  are you putting any bass on it I was expecting it to  psumami upwards as it progressed.
               Very appealing                                     Nice!             Stylus

Thanks!. Wasn't meant to be Little Wing, just reminiscent (doesn't have quite as long a chord progression). See above, re building on this. Hoping to do drums, bass and build it up...

[Dave Bradley]

Hi Sciencebase
                        Woohoooo  Little wing (Me likes )   I like this & Its got appeal  are you putting any bass on it I was expecting it to  psumami upwards as it progressed.
               Very appealing                                     Nice!             Stylus

Now with added bass and beatboxing, somewhat rearranged structure too

https://soundcloud.com/sciencebase/hellish-water

[Boydie]

I am listening to the "raw" track first

I am really liking your vocal on this one - especially the "accent" harmonies, which are making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up


The guitar effects add some nice interest

On to the revised vocal...

I do not think the vocals are a patch on the original "phone" recording!

Perhaps the uncertainty of the lyric via the "ad lib" added to the "performance" - and the harmonies were not standing out

I would suggest trying to replicate the original recording a little more - I think the natural "high eq" nature of the phone recording really suited your voice so perhaps you could take some of the bottom end out of your second recording (especially on the harmonies) to help the vocal really punch through

I am looking forward to hearing how this one develops

[RyanHalsey]

I like the overall chilled vibe to it, there's some nice swing in there! Something that would be really fun to record acoustic drums for!

Just listened to a few other tracks on your soundcloud, they sound ace your a great guitar player!

Ryan

[Dave Bradley]

Many thanks for the critique Boydie, excellent comments. I'm listening back to my original raw song, sounds like I had a cold at the time...

[Dave Bradley]

I like the overall chilled vibe to it, there's some nice swing in there! Something that would be really fun to record acoustic drums for!

Just listened to a few other tracks on your soundcloud, they sound ace your a great guitar player!

Ryan

Very kind of you to say so Ryan!

[Dave Bradley]

This song and a couple of others had a little live outing last night at a choir party...took along my new(ish) Taylor, went down quite well, despite the depressing subject matter of the various tracks I performed...