[James Nighthawk]

Had a second late night listen with my glass of vino in hand

I do like it  .

The melody line that starts on "anticipating" is repeated at the end I now see. The second time it sits fine, whereas the opening of the song still feels uncomfortable. At first I thought it would be a pitching problem on the vocal, but no!, they are both sung very similarly. I can only suggest that maybe because the vocals enters bang at the beginning atop the accordian, that the ear (my ear anyway) doesn't adjust quick enough to the melody. Perhaps having a run once around the chords music only before the vocals enter might prevent this. A fade in would work nicely with the feel (and I generally don't like fade ins but this is a place where it could well work thematically)

Just a thought, I wonder if anyone else feels the same about the opening melody line or if it is just me?

[Florida Mike]

Sounds kind of "Unfinished" and Under produced from a quality standpoint. But if it means something to you keep working it and see where it takes you...this could be a good basis to either a longer song that goes to different places, or maybe a song snippet between other tracks in an overall album context. Unusual...to say the least, but always stay true to your style... Cheers, all the best.

[flossie]

Hiya Cheff,

This is quite a dark piece, I hope you will develop it further as has been suggested, with a guitar perhaps?  I do love how uncoventional you are  but I've got to be honest it's not my fave of yours, it just didn't grab me! (sorry x) 

[cheff daniel]

thanks everyone. you all have mixed feelings i see. i must say that i was expecting that more or less. its not so completely different from the style i normally do, and it proofs how our ears are used to certain common sounds. so much that almost everyone forgot to comment on the song itself.

i agree with estreet about the percussion. i think i leave it out completely. james is having a point there about the quick start maybe. and yes i said here are the lyrics and forgot to paste them. so i try again.

Anticipating

Anticipating, the words from your heart
I just watch them come trough
Articulated so careful and harsh
I know you better then you

More then anybody else
And all of the others
I can see trough you
Like on beaches there are shells
And sisters have brothers
My heart is just yearning
It’s burning for you

Anticipating, the words from your heart
I know you better then you

gr.    Dan