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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: LostBoy on September 13, 2021, 11:09:33 AM
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Hi everyone,
This is a duet with my friend Anya, we often sing together on a karaoke app. She lives in the inner city in Yekaterinburg in Russia and barely speaks a word of English. (big shout out to google translate!!🤪)
Anya asked me if we could write a song about escaping the city, reconnecting with Mother Nature (the ocean specifically) and recharging our spirits. (Basically how I’m sure most city folk felt during lockdown.)
This is what we came up with….I tried multiple ways to dress this up, but ultimately just kept coming back to the voices and guitars.😊 Anya is playing all the guitars. She gets an extra smiley badge for singing the whole thing a semitone higher than her usual vocal sweet spot, that way nobody had to hear my terrible lower register.🤪🤩
I can only write a rough description of what Anya is singing in Russian, cos the translation reads a bit naff…🤷🏼♂️😆
Anyway, we hope you like it.😊
All thoughts are welcome and thanks for listening.😄👍🏻
https://soundcloud.com/leo-b-5/again
Or live video…. https://www.smule.com/sing-recording/853955310_4152299761
Lyrics.
These four walls are crushing me
I hear the ocean calling
With its promise of a calm sleep
As I listen to the waves
Well lately life’s so grey here
underneath these city lights
We’ve lost sight of the moment
Going colourblind…
Can we get away from here
Fill up the car, take a drive
‘Til the concrete disappears
Take me to an open space
I wanna swim in a restless ocean
Feel alive again…again.
I am on my way to save you
And we can both escape these gloomy streets
take a breath of freedom and be happy. (Something like this.😊🤷🏼♂️)
Well I long for the mountains
Wild flowers at our feet
Sleeping under starlight
And waking in a dream.
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Hi Lostboy..................this is really beautiful.
Stunning, actually.
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Really good
Anja has a stunning voice
Very sweet n sensual.
An excellent collaboration
Well done mate !
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Hola @LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481) and your friend Anya.
It is a beautiful song, I love the instrumentation, so delicate, almost fragile, accompanying that longing to reconnect with open spaces and everything they represent.
Very nice duet. Muy bonita.
Mora
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Wow! It is such a ghost town on here lately?? I guess we’re all busy & I know I’m as much to blame as anyone but damn!😱🤷🏼♂️
@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) @rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) @moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) Thanks very much guys. I appreciate the feedback.😄👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
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Wow! It is such a ghost town on here lately?? I guess we’re all busy & I know I’m as much to blame as anyone but damn!😱🤷🏼♂️
@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) @rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) @moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) Thanks very much guys. I appreciate the feedback.😄👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Yes, such a shame
Quite a few sterling members haven't been heard of for a while.
Things got quiet since months ago.
I hope it picks up
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@LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481) - Mighty fine song, love the guitar playing, I can hear her long nails, always love that clarity...superb sync of vocals. superb production.
Glad you kept it pared back, it comes over very powerfully, and lets the words get the meaning over. The combination of your voices is very well suited, it's not always like that Leo, a great match.
What really comes across is that you both really know how to deliver the vocal so it sounds as if you are both on the same wavelength, completely understand what the producer wants to get over, a really brilliant job.
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My God your Russian friend has such a lovely voice and together you are brilliant. What a great song too. A great arrangement - I love this. :)
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@cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) @ChrisPrice (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22723) Thanks very much for checking it out guys and for your thoughts on it. I appreciate it.😄😄
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Stunning @LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481) .. You are great together.. love the fact that you've brought in the Russian singing too - it really makes it something special. Your voices are gorgeous together ..
No crits whatsoever.. Just thoroughly enjoyed it.
Really enjoyed watching you singing it too.
Thumbs up from me!
K
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@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) Thank you Karen!! I’m sorry you had to sit through all the glorious faces I had to make to hit the high notes!!😱😆😜🎶👊🏻🎶
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@LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481)
Hello, beautiful guitar playing and of course, lovely vocals. Once again Leo, your vocals are on top form. Together, you both sound wonderful. I would have definitely sang the whole vocal in the same language (perhaps record two versions, in both languages to promote in respective countries) as it otherwise detracts from my enjoyment of the song. Aside from that point, this is extremely beautiful.
Paul
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@Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231) Trust me Paul you do not wanna hear me singing in Russian!!🤣🤦🏼♂️ I’m sorry the bilingual part didn’t blow your hair back, each to their own. 😄👍🏻 I have plenty of songs all in English…I’m a sucker for female vocalists singing in other languages and Anya wanted this to be English and Russian…and if there’s one thing I’ve learn’t in life…it’s to do what I’m bloody well told!!🤣🤣🤷🏼♂️
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How original it is! I have not heard this before.
Very gentle and beautiful Russian female vocals and male vocals in English, and then a wonderful duet! That's very beautiful!
Great recording, great melody! I am very impressed with this song!
Maya
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@LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481) Really impressive, one of the best songs I have heard on here! Not to diminish your part but Anya is clearly a very talented lady, and the fact you did this apart and not speaking a common language makes it even more impressive.
Vocally I really like both voices separately but they also work excellently together.
You are absolutely right about the production, I think the beauty of this could have been buried with too many more instrumental layers.
Congrats! Great song.
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Hi Leo, I’m just slowly catching up after some time away doing other stuff. I’m very glad I didn’t miss this though, what a gem! You look and sound like two superstars in that video. Just a great song brilliantly performed.
Such a unique international partnership must surely be commercially interesting to some record label somewhere. This one deserves a much wider audience than on here.
It’s also the kind of video that could go viral with the right repost or two. Wow, the beauty of that has really made my morning (until auto correct changed the word beauty for beard 😀) well done mate, anyway. Top, top talent!
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This is so touching. Really beautiful.
The duet works perfectly. Your voices support and compliment each other and make for such a great sound.
The song is so atmospheric. Filled with hope and longing. I can hear your hearts aching for freedom. The subtle reverb on the guitars and the exquisite playing give this work such a dreamy quality. I absolutely agree the song does not need any more complexity in the production than that.
Thank you!
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@LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481) Lovely atmospherics and beautiful acoustic guitar. Both the vocals are top notch and work very well together. Pro sounding production for a fabulous song
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@Maya Clars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22624) @PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588) Thanks very much, I’m glad u liked it so much. 🙏🏻😄
@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) @bigFishAndTheSmallPondets (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20529) Thanks very much guys. Your feedback made my day!😊 thank you for taking the time to give it.🙏🏻🎶👊🏻🎶👊🏻🎶
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This is just gorgeous! No nits from me. Your voices go together really well. Absolutely lovely song, too.
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Lovely vib on this one. The vocals are beautiful 🙂
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Hi Leo (and Anya) - I really got the "yearning to be outside" from this one - very effective and relatable. I think the guitars work really well - during lockdown this sort of less produced style seems to have come back into fashion a little too.
It's interesting - I wouldn't have said "oh that's Russian" hearing the vocal (not that I listen to much Russian music). Sometimes not being able to understand the lyric can make listeners pick up more on the emotion (e.g. me listening to almost all opera) and I think it gives the song another layer of "we're far apart and have different lives but feeling the same feelings".
Cool stuff. I actually started learning a bit of Russian for fun during lockdown - Отлично!
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Stunningly Beautiful Song! Absolutely wonderful the way the timbre of your voices
work together. Very cool to see the video! Well done both of you, its Fantastic!
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Simply beautiful... nuff said.