Well...I'm going to assume you'll be around awhile to give us the benefit of your insights in the general give-and-take of forum life; and, based on that assumption, I'll tell you some of what passed through my mind while listening to this song and reading your post and the lyrics.
First thing I noticed, before listening to the song, was your self-deprecating statement about being a horrible singer. It sounded a bit like fishing for a compliment or possibly an attempt to fend off any possible future criticisms of your vocal ability--just in case. Do you perform in public? If yes, I assume your attempts are received reasonably well or better.
My recommendation: don't apologize ahead of time. Just put it out there and see what happens.
Okay, now the song. I'm not good with production stuff, so I'll leave that feedback to those who are. I like to mess with words, so I paid close attention to your lyric. Right away I felt a logic disconnect.
For instance, in your first verse you have the silence howling through the fields while you sail against the wind. Wind is not silent. I also wonder how still the sea actually gets in the winter? I know you're going for a certain "feel" here, but I'm not sold on your choices for getting to your goal.
Another logic disconnect for me occurs in the chorus, when the "wheels of time stop turning" and yet days and nights continue to go by. Again I understand you're after a particular "feel" but I wonder if you maybe slightly missed the mark.
Now, these opinions are mine and certainly not authoritative in any way. So use them if you like, and ignore them if you don't.
I like your accompaniment, your melody, and your singing. I think your singing could be a little more confident, but there is a certain charm in the uncertainty of your voice.
I like your third verse a lot...although, there could be a small logic disconnect there, as well, since you are thinking about your "forgotten" friends. That one I can get on board with, though, as I take it to mean you have forgotten them up until now.
This is a song I wouldn't mind adding to my repertoire, although probably not in its present form. But I like the sound and feel of the music and the ideas you are trying to express.
I hope to see this piece developed a little more and look forward to your involvement in the forum. I think you probably have a lot to offer.
Vicki
