The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: kingforaday on January 21, 2018, 11:15:26 AM
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Here' the 2nd track from my new solo EP, again all instruments/vocals performed by me.
This one is a little slower (and sadder) than the last
https://soundcloud.com/snakeoil-salesmen/treading-water (https://soundcloud.com/snakeoil-salesmen/treading-water)
Lyrics:
In over my head again, panic sets in once more
I didn’t notice I was drifting, until I couldn’t see the shore
Maybe I’m out of my depth here, My inexperience shown
I won’t hold my breath, it’s no use treading water
When I swim, I swim like a stone
The good ship ‘my intentions’ now reduced to a wreck
is dragging me under, a weight around my neck
Maybe I’m out of my depth here, My inexperience shown
I won’t hold my breath, I can't keep treading water
When I swim, I swim like a stone
I've been holding on for so long
holding on for so long
barely holding on for so long
It's time to let go...
...and sink like a stone
Maybe I’m out of my depth here
My inexperience shown
I won’t hold my breath, I can't keep treading water
When I swim, I swim like a stone
I've been holding on so long, time to let go, sink like a stone
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Oh man, really love the drums and the energy, especially in the transitions. I also really liked the quiet middle 8 (I would have pushed more effects and backing vox in there, but that's just me; not a criticism). Also love your voice. Only (very minor) negative I have is that it the bass sounded a little out to me in a couple of parts (maybe the D string) - e.g. noticeable immediately after "dragging me under". I doubt the average listener would notice though.
Great job - love your style.
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Yep fantastic.
Love the sound, the singing and the songwriting.
I would listen to an album of this style no problem.
I’m jealous.
The only measly thing I’d say as an improvement ( for my ears at least) is; I’d either not have those final additional bv’s in the last chorus, or I wouldn’t pan them quite so hard. It distracted me from the lead vocal and given that the brilliant build up led me to believe that this was the final chorus, I really wanted to hear that main vocal hook clearly one last time.
Hugely impressed.
Paul.
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Hi, love the energy! great drums and guitars! Enjoyed the song a lot and the singing was fine, but the bass is definitely out in places and not by a little :o ???.
Really good, just sort the bass out :o ;)
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie
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Hey, you can post a song every 2 weeks, man.
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Hey, you can post a song every 2 weeks, man.
ooooops sorry missed that, will delete now
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At the request of KINGFORADAY I have locked this post until the appropriate time has passed
Genuine mistake so big deal ;D