[tokenangmoh]

Hello all.

So this one's complicated...

I'm writing a modern version of the Ancient Greek play Electra by Sophocles.

Ancient Greek plays alternate between episodes and odes. The former are dialogue scenes between actors; the latter are chants performed by a chorus of 12 or 15.

But instead of the traditional choral odes, I'm writing songs - and I've decided that these songs need to be performed on a looper (http://www.boss.info/bossloop/). I've decided this because the play's characters seems to be trapped in a cycle of destruction and I want to echo that in the iterative, circular quality of looper performances.

Why do you need to know this? Because otherwise you'll look at the multi-column lyrics below and think I've gone mad (which quite possibly I have).

For those unfamiliar with loopers, a looper records what you sing (or beatbox, or play) and plays it back while you're singing something else. It then records that and plays it back while you're singing something else. It then records that...

This means that what you just sang four bars ago can be playing underneath what you are singing now. And that's why there are columns in my lyrics. (If you're reading this on a narrow screen, it might look very weird indeed, so sorry.) Also, each line is one bar, which sometimes makes the line breaks look a bit odd.

The song will be performed live onstage entirely by a vocalist, who will use the looper's built-in vocal effects to create percussion, bass, pads, lead guitars, etc. So when it says "guitar solo", it isn't really - but it kind of is...

Phew, that took a while.

(Electra is about revenge and oppression, by the way.)

All comments welcome!

***

Burn It Down

So this world is sorrow,                    
And this world is hate,
And it's true tomorrow
Looks even worse than today.

But there's a higher justice
Comes to those who wait.
And I promise trust is
Always rewarded if you

Pray for the
Weak.
Turn the other
Cheek.

Pray for the                            So try to calm your fury,
Weak.                                   Try to soothe your rage,
Turn the other                          Somewhere there's a jury
Cheek.                                  Handing down a verdict on this

Pray for the                            Age. And there's a golden glory
Weak.                                   That will rise instead -
Turn the other                          A happy-ending story  
Cheek.                                  Nothing like the voices in your

Burn it                                 Head!
Down!
Burn it
Down!

[Guitar solo]

So try to eat their poison,
Try to buy their lies,
While their greed destroys a
Nation that they secretly des-

pise. And all the little people
Will one day share the crown -
And pigs'll fly and sheep'll
Hunt the wolves and burn their houses

Down!                                   Burn it
[Guitar solo]                           Down!
                                        Burn it
                                        Down!

All you need is patience,
All you need is love,
And the expectation
Someday your virtue will pay.

So take the fire that fills you -
That you're frightened of -
And even if it kills you,
Just light a candle and then

Pray for the                            Burn it
Weak.                                   Down!
Turn the other                          Burn it
Cheek.                                  Down!

Pray for the                            Burn it
Weak.                                   Down!
Turn the other                          Burn it
Cheek.                                  Down!

© Matt Lyon, all rights reserved.

[benjo]

 man this is whacky but brilliant
 I won't lie I got lost in all that info
 but I know why it's there

 as far as the lyrics go I think you really have something good here
 I can see this being done on stage live
 its hard for me to be able to say yes its ready finished get it working
 only you will know when its complete

 but I like what you have here,  well done and hope it goes down a storm

                                                                        tony...

[PeeJay]

Hi,

I thought this was a good write even though it combines the two subjects for which i got an 'unclassified' grade at school - History and Literature!

Some really nice lines in there. Although i don't agree with the 'jam tomorrow' message which has been deluding the great unwashed for centuries! I also understand that this is based on an earlier work and may not express your own views.

I couldn't comment on the technical aspects not being of a musical bent.

Nice one,

Phil.

[tokenangmoh]

Hi guys.

Thanks very much for your comments. This one's an interesting technical challenge - both lyrically and performance wise. I've got a melody and backing written; I'm just not good enough on the looper to perform it yet ever. Fortunately it won't be me on the night.

i don't agree with the 'jam tomorrow' message which has been deluding the great unwashed for centuries!

Nor do I! I'd hoped the lyrics would put that across, but perhaps it'll have to wait for the music (or a rewrite).

I want to get across that the standard advice is "the meek shall inherit", but in fact "pigs'll fly" before that happens - and the "voices in your head" keep yelling "burn it down!"

Then at the end, the line "light a candle and then" gets completed by both "pray" and "burn it down", both of which are previously recorded loops (the singer actually stops and walks off on the word "then", as if he can't decide). In fact, "Burn it down" will be higher and louder than "pray" and will come in a beat later, so it should sound like an angry correction.

Also, the music and performance will be very bitter and intense in places, so that should help. If it turns out how I want it, it'll come across as an internal confrontation between rage and restraint...

Thanks again,

Matt

[EattheChildren]

This is incredible. I can't even begin to describe it. The lyrics are wonderful, the arrangement is unique and impressive, and you based it off of Electra, which is amazing. On top of that, the title Burn It Down has always been a favorite title of mine, so there's a but if a bias towards it, I suppose. Anyway, I can really imagine this being sung by multiple people in harmonies and melodies, and I would absolutely love to hear some strongly contrasting voice parts. Anyway, incredible to read, and I would love to hear it!

[Innominate]

I have the utmost respect for anyone trying to elevate their songwriting beyond words on a page. You've got a whole artistic purpose that goes beyond simply writing a catchy song and that adds a lot of depth and complexity to the simplicity of the lyrics and really speaks to you as an artist. Choosing the elements of sound specifically to mimic or re-enforce the narrative, as you want to do with the looping music/trapped in a cycle, is a complicated and tricky affair. It is much like a cinematographer using close up shots to instill a feeling of suffocation or claustrophobia in the audience, to help them feel what the character feels. It shows you are striving to exploit a deeper understanding of the relationship between sound and audience. I am happy to see that.

The lyrics themselves are good too. Although it's really hard to get a decent idea of it even with your explanation, I would really need to hear it. The lines where you delay the rhyme to the beginning of the next such as,

"But there's a higher justice
Comes to those who wait.
And I promise trust is
Always rewarded if you

Pray for the
Weak.
Turn the other
Cheek."

are an example of this. It's hard to know what it's going to sound like. Good luck with this, I hope to hear it at some point and see how what I see here gets translated into music. Cheers.

[Paulski]

This is incredible ambitious. That's what I admire about you - taking on the risk of managing this. Especially if you have to transfer your vision to someone else who will deliver it. Regarding the lyrics - hard to comment because of the parallel parts, but a couple of things came to mind on first read:
Hunt the wolves and burn their houses Down - in my mind I would have preferred Find the wolves' house (or where they live or similar) and burn it down - so it leads into the chant that would echo it back. Also, lighting a candle sort of mirrors the chant but possibly a torch or bonfire would be a better reflection of the chant in the left column.
Overall - great concept and theme!
Paul

[hardtwistmusic]

This is not a "read it once and understand it completely" kind of lyric.  Man this is impressively ambitious, and I can almost hear how it works. 

After about four reads, I could probably hear what you are doing with the looper. 

OR.... I might  just wait to hear it until you produce it.  How long is that likely to be?

[Sing4me88]

What a write. I'm loving the whole back story and the meaning behind this one. It was kinda hard to read initially but I soon got into it second time around. This is very cryptic and it could be an epic song in your musical. Its got a real heavy feel to it in the verses yet it is really simple at the 'burn it down' and 'pray for the weak' parts. A great contrast that you've managed to balance perfectly. I'm really intrigued by this one I must admit. Its such a great write and it sounds so interesting what you plan to do with it that I'm bursting to hear it.

[tokenangmoh]

Thanks everyone!

I've finished recording this now and will be uploading it in the WIP forum latest by tomorrow. It was so hard to explain what I was trying to do with the lyrics, but hopefully the track will speak for itself.

To EattheChildren:

Thanks so much for those kind words. And you've given me a great idea:

I can really imagine this being sung by multiple people in harmonies and melodies, and I would absolutely love to hear some strongly contrasting voice parts.

You won't hear this on the track, but live onstage I'm going to have the Greek chorus continue and take over from the outro, with half of them singing "Pray for the weak" and half singing "Burn it down" in harmony and counterpoint. It should be very cool.

So thanks extremely for your suggestion!

To Innominate:

It is much like a cinematographer using close up shots to instill a feeling of suffocation or claustrophobia in the audience

That's a cool way of looking at it. I've got a highly specific aesthetic in mind for this play, and now it's just about teasing it out and putting it onstage. Somehow.

To Paul:

I would have preferred Find the wolves' house (or where they live or similar) and burn it down

That is an excellent suggestion, and I spent the last couple of days trying to make it happen - but frustratingly I have not managed it. Every phrasing I came up with that ended in "burn it down" either screwed up the rhythm I'd locked myself into, used silly words or broke the grammar. The closest I got was "find the wolf's address and burn it down", which is sadly rubbish. I hate it when this happens! But thanks for the suggestion anyway, and if I do chance upon a phrasing that works, I'll change it straight away.

On your other suggestion: I think I'll stick with candle because of the religious connotations. It's the least violent of my fiery options, admittedly, but I think it could still be used to start a fire at least.

***

Thanks again everyone!