The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Competitions => Topic started by: domj on March 21, 2012, 10:54:37 PM
-
I really wanted to write it by today... so... bit drunk... for better or for worse... it's done.
http://www.soundclick.com/player/single_player.cfm?songid=11521415&q=hi
Recorded with one mic which i prefer... but the vox is too loud. Too tired to try again lol.
*edit... notice people putting lyrics.
In her house there is a light
but it's lit for someone else
In her house there is a mind
but it's thinking all by itself.
Do you remember when i first said i love you?
and now i can't even tell you that i care.
I said i'd shake the World for you
but now i can't even shed a tear
In her house... there is a light
In her house... there is a light.
-
A lot of emotion in this one and the finger picking is really nice.
I dont think the melody has that much structure or form, which I suppose is the most difficult thing to do when you only have 1½ mins :)
-
I really like the phrasing and the space, a vocal of real character and emotion. Good job.
-
Very precise - I really enjoyed the raw emotion - resigned realism in this and love its simplicity - struck a chord with me. Really strong entry. BTB
-
lots of emotion, great songwriting.
gr. Dan
-
Very pretty again.
You really do like Mr Damien Rice don't you ;) Second song today that sounds like it could be written by him!
My main issue with this as a short song is that is sounds more like a prelude to a longer song, than a short song complete as it is. Still very nice though
-
I CAN'T STAND DAMIEN RICE!!! :'(
I'm more into early Leonard Cohen, Will Oldham and Daniel Johnston... oh and definitely Tom Waits as song writers.... but not Damien Rice lol
Now i'm scared people are going to think i'm a Damien Rice wanna be now :(
I get what you say, it didn't quite work on it's own. I found it really difficult to fit something in such a short space of time. Fun challenge though. I'm thinking i should of tackled it as writing just a chorus and making it a song.
Thanks everyone. :)
-
Yikes. Didn't mean to offend. I do like him, so couldn't have been meant that way!
That first song I posted on earlier was quite close in melodic and chordal structure to the Damien rice song mentioned. This one soon after perhaps was a less fair comparison, as it was in my head. I can still hear it in your phrasing though.
And am sure that Mr Rice enjoys a lot of the same writers that you do. My late-20s age bracket might be decieving me here. Perhaps you sound more like the people you mention, and I know the references second hand!
Although you have a nicer voice than Leonard Cohen! ;)
-
Sorry, i was only joking. To be fair i have listened to very little of his stuff, so 'hate' would be overly strong.
-
Nice song, I like the emotion you get into it, nice one :) :) :)
-
First one I have heard from you Dom
It's very good indeed, dark and deep and very well played
I like the lyrics a lot and the wobbly vulnerable vocal delivery :)
-
i thought this was very good ...you do sound a bit sloshed & somehow that adds to the song...like the intensity of the feeling your trying to get across is so hard you had to be drunk to handle it
of course maybe you just like a good drink ...like me ;D
-
really like this domj
to me it instantly reminds of early leonard cohen,
its in the gtr pick as well as the vocal,
whatever
really engaging song
has a spirit about it, ..
fine work
-
Hiya :)
This is ace. I love it that you sound a bit drunk. It's a real skill to sound loose
but at the same time have good timing and you nailed it :)
Really cool
-
Your guitar sounds beautiful. Lovely clear vocals too. Stacks of emotion here, Very well done!
best wishes
Paul
-
Don't want to revive it.... let it die :D
Just wanted to say thanks for the comments, much appreciated.
:)
-
The pure state of not giving a f*ck anymore. Been there, done that.
The message is clear and crude, although I don't really liked the music, something doesn't scan right, or maybe that's what you intended and I'm just too narrow minded...