Hi RealKev,
This has legs, I listened to Vicky's and yours, and I prefer yours, but you could use Vicky's line for colour, or as a HVox idea, (by accident I had them both going at the same time and there was definitely something there....
I also rather liked the noise in the background, gave the song a sense of tension, appropriate to the title of the song.
The vocal could benefit with a bit of passion, rescue rather implies desparation, and it might benefit from some passion, take a listen to 'Forgive Me' by the australian singer Missy Higgins, that might help....now that's desparate...
Hope this helps.
cpm