I read something a few days back in an interview with Damon Albarn, front man of Blur and one of the minds behind Gorillaz
"I thought everyone did," he says with a groan. "I thought everyone was just being really nice, and not making too much of a deal of it. Cos, you know, although I totally agree with your astute observation, the reality of any experimentation is that it can become habitual, and it can take over your life… [pause] I would never, ever disagree with the enlightening abilities of drugs, I also… you know… respect their potency. You have to have very good intentions, otherwise… even the best intentions in the world can go awry."
And did they with you?
"I think inevitably, they do with anybody who… you know… has that innate, spiritual kind of yearning."
In other words, nobody manages to do heroin on their terms.
"There's no such thing as our terms. There are only universal terms that we all have to abide by. And live with."
Sellon, you've gotta get yourself out of this now. You've got all these other mental issues to contend with and Heroin isn't really an escape, it's just another problem you're gonna have to deal with and it's gonna get bigger and bigger and soon it'll be exacerbating the underlying problems you're trying to escape from anyway. I lost an uncle to heroin use (not a lose one, bit of a skeleton in the family's closet given that he was also a love child) and he was in a pretty similar situation to you. The fucked up thing is that I went through that and I'm still no better equipped to help others, like yourself, avoid addiction.
Just get help. Phone a helpline, a rehab clinic, a hospital, whatever, just don't let it get worse.
