[Bernd]

once you came crawling
a bitch in heat
craving for my touch

once you loved me
now you don't
have I changed that much?

you tell me
who's this guy
you tell me
who is I

once committed
I am true
sticking to my words

you making off
just like that
you can bet it hurts

you tell me
who's this girl
you tell me
who is you

I don't think that explanations
could help heal the wound
someday I may come to terms with
having been marooned
maybe while I'm all alone
I'll get to know myself
still I will have to live with
having never known my girl

you tell me
who's this girl
you tell me
who is you

you tell me
who's this guy
you tell me
who is I

[hardtwistmusic]

One small change I would suggest. 

Instead of "once committed" I'd go with "still committed" since the rest of that verse seems to be in the "still committed category" instead of "no longer committed."

VERY GOOD LYRIC.   

I love these spare, meaningful lyrics that milk a lot of meaning out of a few words.

[jameba]

good suggestion by hardtwist, really like this song!

but love

I don't think that explanations
could help heal the wound
someday I may come to terms with
having been marooned
maybe while I'm all alone
I'll get to know myself
still I will have to live with
having never known my girl

love the word marooned!!

good write love the short verses and chorus!

James

[benjo]

hey bernd

nice lyric I agree with hardtwistmusic said it all
really enjoyed reading this good example of less is more

   well done,
                           tony.

[PeeJay]

Hi Bernd,

This is nice and lean and mean.

I thought it was going to have a Rock flavour with that opening verse but then it softened up and went sort of Rasta with 'who is i' etc!

'you tell me
who's this guy
you tell me
who is I'

Can you tell someone a question? Seems like more of a statement.

I thought this line - 'having never known my girl' could be 'being someone else' or something as there's confusion about who he is and who she is etc.

Phil.

[EattheChildren]

Out of curiosity, is there any real reason you used who IS I, rather than who AM I?

[Bernd]

Thanks for your thoughts and suggestion.

I think I'll make the lines in question:

once committed
I STAY true
...

that's what I intended to say anyway.

***

I had the chorus in my mind for a couple of days and wrote the verses and the bridge yesterday over lunch time. Until then I didn't have the slightest idea what the lyrics would be about. I was afraid that they might have got a little corny, but they seem to work so that's okay.

Quite obviously, the phrase "who IS I" is primarily there to raise interest - I'm good at hook lines ;-) At least to me it actually does mean something different from "who AM I": "who am I" would be asking myself while "who IS I" sort of asks the question from a dissociated perspective, hence "YOU tell me ...": tell me who is this guy you once loved, tell me how he seems to have changed that made you stopped loving him because to me it doesn't feel like you are meaning me.

Thanks again, and
see you around

Bernd

[digger72]

Hi Bernd,

Liked the lyrics. I tend to prefer short, sharp, direct phrases; Can get a lot of things out there in a simple manner.
I actually read this as some sort of rap type song - not that i'm any sort of expert on such things.

Have you recorded it?

Digger

[BooBoo]

Different, some good lyrics. Good song! P