The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Lyrics => Topic started by: lost lottie on June 10, 2017, 01:23:53 AM
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can you see your eyes?
the dark crystal brown
The way your hair parts equally above your tattooed brow
Its like the hate in my wallet
empty, torn and forced.
Your loves a scam
Gave you everything, you was my queen
Now im a man i dont hurt so much
If i pretend you was bad to me
At the end the anxiety subsides
My heart will mend
deep down im screaming
Not standing im learning
Theres a reflection i see
The more i look into the eyes
i see it isnt me.
who gave you the right to change my life?
who gave you the right to darken my light?
I dont need to pretend you was bad to me
in time the anxiety will subside
my heart will mend
someone heard me screaming
im laying down resting
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Hi and welcome! Nice set of lyrics but the lines:
Theres a reflection i see
The more i look into the eyes
is it meant to be "your" right?
and the syllables on each chorus are a bit different. But could be intentional? :)
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i didnt want it to be personal as the lyrics could be taken as someone talking to themself. I agree as i re read it it should be "your"
thank you for your input. What do you think of my other songs
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i didnt want it to be personal as the lyrics could be taken as someone talking to themself. I agree as i re read it it should be "your"
thank you for your input. What do you think of my other songs
Yes, the song Just for Today, regarding the writing, is very good as it stays in the same direction and doesn't lose track. Quite catchy too! Your singing voice complements it well too :) Solid work