Running right through

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ThisFoxHunts

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« on: December 09, 2013, 10:10:46 PM »
I know it was a storm that we went through
And the thunder of love made you cry
But we hung on
With gritted teeth we clung on
Then when the sun shone
I thought we would be just fine

But when you said you love me
doubt hid between the lines; I read it
I felt the nerves of a thousand butterflies
And I began to dread it
I spent half my life upsetting you
But you can't leave me I'm not letting you
Whatever I have to say or do
It's done

Your love's a tsunami making waves in the sand
Your hand is a perfect fit for my hand
The only thing softer than your voice is your skin
You're like the spring
You bring new life
I breathe you in.

I am a better person for every second I see you
I miss you 5 seconds after I have to leave you
If you need more than words to prove it's the truth
Break my heart; your name is running right through.

Paulski

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« Reply #1 on: December 10, 2013, 05:11:08 PM »
Some wonderful lines there. Reads a lot like poetry but the structure seems inconsistent. Unless you have music already written it may be difficult to write it without a more uniform structure. Maybe if you could identify verses/chorus etc. we'd be able to better advise on that.
Nice lyrics though
Best
Paul