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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: man made material on June 24, 2022, 03:52:00 PM
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First new thing from me for a while, this one was different for me as I had no idea for subject matter before I sat down at the keyboard, I wanted to make something poppy, more uplifting and a bit dancey, ended up sounding like the Human League 😂 anyway it’s a bit of fun nonsense!
Lyrics:
I didn't leave you, but you left me
You left me alone on the dance floor,
Hot bodies all moving around,
searching the crowd as they want more,
moving to the beat of the sound.
Though the pulse of the room was infectious,
I felt like I was being drowned,
And though I scanned the room for your presence,
Not a sign of you could ever be found...
I didn't leave you, but you left me
I really need you, but you can't see
I didn't leave you, but you left me
I really need you, but you can't see
You told all my friends I'd decided
That i didn't want your company,
But that's not the truth of the matter,
you were playing for their sympathy.
Now i analyse my new situation,
You took my friends along with my heart.
Can we find a way to make a connection?
My life is slowly being torn apart.
I didn't leave you, but you left me
I really need you, but you can't see
I didn't leave you, but you left me
I really need you, but you can't see
(Why did you go? Why did you go away?)
https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/hkcXX36GJ8cgQ52w5
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It's a good one. Really catchy chorus and good dancey lyrics going along. Somehow a 80ies sound, but I like really it. It sometimes is a little too busy for my ears. I think it is the arp. The beat like at 2:03 would have been really enough for me. But I'm kinda purist :-)
One last complaint: Use a little SC on the mix and the claps more upfront. The mix would really bounce!
But enough complaining. It is a really good song all in all, will definetely listen to it more than once!
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These clever synths and the whole atmosphere take me back to a time when life was so much more inevitably joyous. Thank you! The repetition element to this is very infectious too, very catchy and makes you want to press replay.
Having heard a number of your tunes by now, consistent is what you are. Never a disappointment and always a treat! 👍
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Ahhh, nothing like a slice of 80s style synthpop to get my toe tapping. I actually like the busy arrangement, it's a difficult thing to pull off. If I had to give one note it'd be to start the fade earlier and make the track slightly shorter.
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Yo MMM.
Like the others,I dig the unmistakable 80s vibe,you do it well.
Much enjoyed the listen.
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Hi Material! A solid song. The instrumental is really filling up the space. Since im an outside to the genre I compare all to "The Great" The Knife. A rougher production of the vocals with a bit of distortion might bring it more to the front, but as more of a dance song its a good fit.
/Martin
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Hola @man made material (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22704)
I like the sound that you have achieved here, it takes me to other places, years... The effect on the voice is great, everything is a very interesting fusion, everyone dances in that room
Stay well
Mora
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Ah ! Great to hear another one from you @man made material (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22704) Yeah, I'm getting that Human League Dare type vibe. Add some oohs and ahhs and you're there. This is dead catchy and I'm liking the vocals processing - Don't know what you've used to achieve that - Some kind of vocoder I'm guessing. Fabulous stuff man
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This is so interesting and catchy sounding. Makes me tap my foot, for sure.
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This is a tasty synth pop nugget. Like others have said, the effect on the vocals is great (and a bit of a trademark of yours?). I think I'm on the fence about whether the production is too 'busy'... on the one hand I like the way this kind of shimmers and flutters with all that is going on in the higher registers, but on the other hand I could also imagine a version of this that was more bass-led and hard hitting. Maybe that's an approach for the extended remix...? Really enjoyed it though and interesting to hear something that is a little poppier than your recent album... it's good to mix it up a bit eh. Nice one.
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It's kinda funny. Many of us have a style and an era that inspires us to do what we do. To me this is unashamedly 80's. Nothing wrong with that, especially when it's as well crafted as this. Yeah, I really enjoyed this. :)
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@man made material (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22704),
Yes, there's a definite human league vibe going on. If you can find a way to lift the vocal above the synth wizardry, this will have a great impact. It's always good ti hear artists reaching out of their comfort zone. You've done a great job hear. Kudos.
Wicked
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I echo other comments here, it's very catchy and the 80's sound is creeping back into modern music so in a way it kinda sounds pretty current to me.