The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: pompeyjazz on August 21, 2016, 06:16:36 PM
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After a very brief excursion with experimenting with a semi classical piece I've gone back to what I feel most comfortable with - Pop :)
This song is about the lonliness many people suffer as they get on a bit and mixed with creeping demetia, the world can be a confusing and scary place.
https://soundcloud.com/pompeyjazz/split-personality
Split Personlaity
You're so very twentieth century
With the letters that you send
But that is all
Most of them are empty
And discarded on the floor
Doesn't matter cos it's alright
Dosen't matter cos it jut might
No one calls you on the phone
No one calls you on your own
You've got a split - Personality
Good- Personality
Bad - Personality
Trait
It's a good - Personality
Bad - Personality
Split - Personality
Oh remember back in Seventy
When you danced upon the beach
But that is all
Some of those are empty
And the future out of reach
Doesn't matter cos it's alright
Dosen't matter cos it jut might
No one calls you on the phone
No one calls you on your own
We've been calling on the phone
Cos it seems that you're alone
No one knows if you're at home
All Alone, All Alone
Yes the thoughts they are a plenty
Darkest night and brightest day
But that is all
Some of those are empty
Winds of time have blown away
Doesn't matter cos it's alright
Dosen't matter cos it jut might
No one calls you on the phone
No one calls you on your own
John Bradley - 2016
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this sounds great to me, John...performances and production are brilliant...leaped out of my speakers...
I always look forward to hearing your stuff...and i'm never disappointed...
excellent :)
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I really enjoyed this track John, especially the chorus...stuck in my head immediately. I obviously had to listen as soon as I read the title ;D
I love your voice but I think it is a little low in places in this mix...you should let it shine more because your singing is always emotion-laden grit and I dig it big time. Your guitar work as always is impressive and I love the fuzzy sounds you have going...its on my playlist already. Excellent song.
I shall see you at the Hope & Anchor in a bit, just got to pop over to Hillfields to do some business first.
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Hillfields business eh ! Good bit of stuff going on there :)
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Nice! Got an Elvis Costello & the Attractions sound - I like it!
Nice turn of phrase here and there, like the winds of time blowing thoughts away. Well done!
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Hey there Pompy..........great bubbly tune. For me, had a Beatles spirit in there. I always enjoy a bit of harmony in the songs I listen to.
Nice one!
8)-Tom
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Good song and good lyrics mate..lost the vocal now and again....automation!!!
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A rockin pop choon always goes down well with me,pomps. :)
I loved the 'split...personality' part..inspired for sure. Oliver's Army vibe in the song as a whole,mixed with a 60s feel give the song a timeless classic overall vibe.
Great song,John.
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Paul - Thanks so much fo ryour kind words - I am very flattered
Martyn - The thing that I have always struggled with is getting vocals right in the mix. I'm going to have a look at automation as per Kevins suggestion. Hope you had a good night in Hillfields :)
Buc - Elvis Costello - Great stuff. I think Blood And Chocolate and Spike are two of my favourite albums
Tom - Yeah, I love the Beatles so no real big suprise there !
Kev - Agree Agree Agree - I'm looking at automation now and will post an updated version later
Skub - Thanks mate, I love that poppy sixties vibe - Really glad you liked it
Cheers
John
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Yeah i like this John great rocking moving feel to it and that chorus is very catchy still have it in my head after listening to it, great song like everything about it 8)
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loads of good ideas & surprises packed in this john....you do like to go to town & get creative & try all sorts of things
a super chorus & such a great bridge .. i realy liked all the vocals you put on & the harmonies & of course the beatle backing vocals were a fab surprise
the lead guitar fills every where were a smashing idea & worked very well ..tho i didnt think the guitar sounds were right ....rhythym & lead had a cheap fizzy sound ...a bad sound can make your playing sound bad when its not
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Hi John,
I thought Beatles too.
Lots of 20th century feeling.
Great lyrics and love those guitar sections.
Hooks all over the place.
One that I would definitely love to sing this myself.
You at your best.
Sandeep
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Hi John
Very creative write IMO.
I loved those chord progressions - they fit the lyrics so nicely.
Vocals are good - but I kept wondering what it would sound like if Geddy Lee were singing a register up. ;D That's the mark of a good song IMO if you start thinking that. For my short attention span it was a minute long without some major pattern change to poke my brain - but prob just me.
Well done!
Paul
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Thanks So much all
Oldbutyet - Glad you found it catchy - Thanks for the compliments
Tina - Aaagh ! Guitar sounds in Guitar rig, there are so many of them, it's difficult to decide on one. I've got a few faves but like to try out new ones, and that's juts the presets
Sandeep - Great stuff - Beatles is good in my book :)
Paulski - Know what you mean about the Geddy Lee vocals - Don't think I'd ever be able to achieve that though :)
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Good stuff. Sounds generally like British pop. Beatles, Bowie Costello.
I like the line "some of those are empty"
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Thanks to all for your listens and reviews. Much appreciated as ever :)
John
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Thanks Mr Rightly. Exactly what was intended :)
John
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Hi John,
The into brings the song in very nicely.
Love the overall feel of the song - busy but well thought out.
I get the later Beatles sound as well - a good thing. But there's much more floating in and out of the track.
The music actually drew my attention a bit more than the vocal at times - but as the song is about a split personality maybe that's how it should be.
Digger
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Hi,
I can hear the Beatles thing - especially in the production and backing vocals. That effect on "personality" is weird but in a good way. The production and arrangement are clever and imaginative and perfect for the song. The chorus is strong, the rest of the melody is a little forgettable if I'm being brutally honest and the vocals are a little unsure and buried a little low in the mix. Overall though, a strong piece of work.
M