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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Jambrains on January 02, 2017, 09:54:14 PM

Title: One Day We'll Die
Post by: Jambrains on January 02, 2017, 09:54:14 PM
A song I wrote with the upcoming new year as inspiration and I ended up with "a great drinking song" as someone described it. So, nothing very deep lyrics wise, just a guitar based sing-along type of song probably best enjoyed just before the bar closes.  ;D
Lyrics on SC.

https://soundcloud.com/jambrains/one-day-well-die
Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: pompeyjazz on January 02, 2017, 10:13:31 PM
Good stuff Mr JB and good to hear you again. As you say, an end of the evening far too many drinks song. Great rock guitar solo and like the piano intro. Your distinct vocals really suit this style. Cheers John
Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: Skub on January 02, 2017, 10:19:50 PM
Yo JB.

Living for the moment is an honourable way of thinking. This moment is all we are guaranteed.

The past few weeks have seen me attend the burial of two of the Vance clan and we are all of an age now when our turn is imminent. No surprises,it's a flick of the coin.

Against this backdrop,your song resonates with me on several levels and all in a positive way.

This is probably all we have,dear people don't waste anything on the hope of a second chance.

Quality choon.  8)
Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: TimCurtis on January 03, 2017, 12:25:55 AM
A sentiment I totally agree with, live in the here and now.

The song itself wouldn't be out of place on a Levellers or New Model Army album. Not listened to either for years but might dig out my old CDs when I get home....
Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: Paulski on January 03, 2017, 01:37:59 AM
Ahhh - that great voice again - love the vocals in this.
It's a good song too - maybe the hook is repeated a few extra times for my liking but its such a quality production I suspect no-one will mind. Interesting how you put a christmassy piano up against raunchy guitars and drums and it still works great.  ;D ;D

Solid work!
Paul
Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: kevysc on January 03, 2017, 12:35:16 PM
Well written and performed, a great song to start the new year ...

Kevin
Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: adamfarr on January 03, 2017, 02:25:29 PM
Really enjoyed the build here (looking at Soundcloud, did you also automate the master fader?)

Great sound spectrum from piano / percussion down to full round basses.

In verse two I wasn't 100% sure what happened and what was the "final straw" - just wanting to move onto the next year I guess (more than 2 fights a week would probably make you want to do that...!)

A well formed and delivered piece of work I think.
Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: Morefrog Jones on January 03, 2017, 09:12:59 PM
Ive got a Movie Soundtrack in my mind for this one - Epic style and feel to it. Not really my Cup of tea.
But could be a great Funeral Song.
Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: irwin on January 04, 2017, 02:38:19 PM
Well, I am please about what I am hearing from this song. Sounds really good.Love the lyric. Thanks for shearing.
Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: CaliaMoko on January 04, 2017, 04:44:12 PM
I like the "live in the moment" message I get from this song. Like Adam, I wonder about the "last straw" verse. I would be very interested in hearing what that's about. I can't get any particular meaning from it. No doubt, I'm too dense. :)

I do like this song, there's a catchiness about it that appeals to  me.

Vicki
Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: PaulAds on January 04, 2017, 09:59:40 PM
I really loved the opening...the interplay between piano and acoustic guitar was beautiful and the vocal added to it perfectly...the production is fabulous too...a great lead break as well...a real treat  :)

Some amazing quality on the forum and you're always right up there with the best.
Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: jamesh on January 04, 2017, 10:32:30 PM
Great intro and lovely guitar work throughout. Very appropriate song for the time of year. My only issue on this song is that the phrase "One day we'll die.." feels like it looses its impact as it it repeated quite a few times. Otherwise a well structured and performed song

Thanks

James
Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: shadowfax on January 08, 2017, 07:18:48 AM
“To die, to sleep -
To sleep, perchance to dream - ay, there's the rub,
For in this sleep of death what dreams may come...”
― William Shakespeare, Hamlet

or not!!!

fab song, love the intro and guitar break..not too keen on the song title though :)

best to you for the coming year my friend.. :) :)
Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: Neil C on January 08, 2017, 01:04:29 PM
Johan,
Enjoying the playing and production on this a lot. The tune just builds and all the pieces add up. piano acoustic and the twin guitars whilst leaving enough space you your characterful vocals.
Neat solo - perhaps a tad louder, the tracks jump when the vocals come after it.
Its got a touch of reflective Foos about it..
Neat
:-)
neil


Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: Martinswede on January 08, 2017, 03:15:02 PM
Great song! Simple but it works.
It reminds me of the Swedish band Backyard Babies.
My only critique is that the guitar solo could do with a
bit more treble and maybe some dB+.
All in all - Good job

/Martin
Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: tina m on January 08, 2017, 09:34:52 PM
You realy sound like the guy from the Scorpions ..do i keep telling you that?
anyway I like them so it doesnt hurt to say it again :)
this didnt immediately hit me ,but I liked it a lot more the second time & then realy got into it on the 3rd listen...
you do some lovely things with pianos & acoustic guitars here..
I suppose it is a drinking song ,but the maudlin type not the 'knees up' dancing on the table sort..

great solo but it was no where near loud enough ..surely you know its impossible to play air guitar well to a quiet solo!  ;D i had to crank up my air amplifier !
Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: hardtwistmusic on January 09, 2017, 10:46:06 PM
Very, very nice.  Perfect for your vocal style.  One of your best in my opinion.
Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: MartynRich on January 09, 2017, 11:10:58 PM
Thanks for shearing.

 ;D Some typos are worth quoting

Anyway, great title Jambrains! Death is one of my favourite subjects and you couldn´t say it more plainly here. Singing it as aggressively as you do I did get a bit nervous about the Grim Reaper showing up  :D

Anyway, I really enjoyed it. You do have a nice way with rock that´s slightly compelling to listen to. You put a lot of heart and soul into yout songs and although ithey don´t always grab me instantly, you´re honesty shines through. Like Tina said, you should turn up the solo though, it´s great and needs to be a tad more prominent. Good rockin tune!
Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: rightly on January 10, 2017, 07:27:08 PM
nothing wrong with this one
like Tinam said, the solo was a bit quiet.
loved it
"not so deep"? I think it's not that shallow.

me like
Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: boolio on January 11, 2017, 09:09:49 AM
Hi,

The brilliant intro sounded slightly at odds with the rest of the song (IMHO) but that actually worked well ultimately. Great message in the 'enjoy yourself - it's later than you think" kind of a way

Good song that commands/demands attention

Phil  
Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: ScottLevi on January 11, 2017, 07:01:12 PM
Hey Jambrains,

Enjoyed the listen.

It's nice to hear an optimistic song, but I also appreciate the way you've done it contrasting with negatives rather than just pure positivity; making the whole thing more real for me at least.

Nice pace to it too, felt very accomplished.

Cheers,
Scott.

Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: montydog on January 23, 2017, 03:15:38 PM
Hi,

Great gritty vocals and a very high level of playing and arrangement. Accomplished, polished and quality throughout. Maybe a hook short of greatness.

M
Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: Binladeda on January 28, 2017, 10:53:19 AM

 WOW  ;D ;D ;D

 Loved this JB.  Amazing build. Exquisite intro.
 Just loved the finger picking gtr......

 Great lyrics, and well delivered with that 'world
 weary' voice of yours. ;D

 Your stuff is always quality, and a high standard.
 A real pleasure to listen to.

Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: digger72 on January 28, 2017, 02:02:21 PM
Hi JB,

As Bin mentions, this builds very well from the delicate intro.

It does have that aftermath to the night before feel to it - a 3am song? :)

Excellent playing and production.
Could you send some of that gravel from your voice as we have some potholes that need filling? ;D

Great stuff.

Digger
Title: Re: One Day We'll Die
Post by: Moomond on January 30, 2017, 07:26:19 PM
Great intro. The tinkly piano throughout gives it something unique to go along with the rock sound.

Have to disagree with jamesh above, I think it's a great title (apart from being the obvious one given the song!)

I think you did a great job on the choruses - arranging each of them slightly differently. It helps keep it interesting.