The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat

Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Works in Progress => Topic started by: THEFLAVES on February 23, 2015, 09:33:21 AM

Title: I WISH I KNEW
Post by: THEFLAVES on February 23, 2015, 09:33:21 AM

Hi,

Here's a demo of a Country/Rock style song. Have yet to overlay harmonies and additional instruments. Very happy to hear suggestions of how to give this more of an authentic Country Feel.

Please comment on the Lyrics, structure and melody and how to take this from WIP to a more finished product that could be presented to publishers. Very happy this song is recorded by someone else and not necessarily sung by me.

https://soundcloud.com/theflaves-1/wish-i-knew (https://soundcloud.com/theflaves-1/wish-i-knew)


Seems that Soundcloud doesn't like older versions of Internet Explorer. If issues playing please copy URL into Chrome or Firefox browsers.


I WISH I KNEW


Taking sides you may never feel lonely
That's besides, cos we never intend
To lose a soul when we only ever want to be friends

Breaking hearts will always be the hard part
An honest line is always best when you can
I wish I knew what I know now
I didn't know then


It's been like drifting on a slow boat to nowhere
Can't see the land this far out to sea

Losing time with the ones I should stand by
Writing letters that I know I won't send
I wish I knew what I know now
I didn't know then

Solo

Worry lines show the time I've spent thinking
Tired eyes always hide from the sun
It's never true being two when you want to be one

Breaking hearts will always be the hard part
An honest line is always best when you can
I wish I knew what I know now
I didn't know then

Breaking hearts will always be the hard part
An honest line is always best when you can
I wish I knew what I know now
I didn't know then
 

Title: Re: I WISH I KNEW
Post by: hardtwistmusic on February 24, 2015, 06:43:00 PM

My tastes don't really run to old timey country, but I've listened and can't find any nits to pick. 

It's a really good example of the genre. 

Title: Re: I WISH I KNEW
Post by: THEFLAVES on February 25, 2015, 04:35:20 PM

Quote from: hardtwistmusic on February 24, 2015, 06:43:00 PM

My tastes don't really run to old timey country, but I've listened and can't find any nits to pick. 

It's a really good example of the genre. 

Hardtwist - appreciate the positive comments - pleased to hear no nits need picking. Still expect to add harmonies and a few extra instruments to this song to take production levels higher.  cheers   Ian 

Title: Re: I WISH I KNEW
Post by: diademgrove on February 25, 2015, 08:52:51 PM

I'm a bit younger then Hardtwist but it sounded like modern country to me. It sounded very good as well. My only comments would be to make the lead guitar lines sound a bit sweeter. Difficult to describe in words, but this is what I have in mind

Good song well recorded,

Keith

Title: Re: I WISH I KNEW
Post by: THEFLAVES on February 25, 2015, 09:01:57 PM

Thanks Keith.. I love a bit of Emmylou.. We may be adding some pedal steel to the mix which will probably offset and possibly soften the guitar.. I'll hold fire in changes until I've had some more feedback. No doubt someone will suggest we dirty up the guitars :)

Thanks for taking time to review appreciated

Ian

Title: Re: I WISH I KNEW
Post by: skogge on February 27, 2015, 09:53:28 AM

Well done. Love the vocal delivery. Some "un-country:isn" chord choices. Maybe some Willie Nelson/jazzy influences there? Overall a nice run. That you say there is need for some harmonies and a pedal steel actually gives it an unpolished feel that I personally like.

/skogge (dito Emmylou-fanboy)

Title: Re: I WISH I KNEW
Post by: THEFLAVES on February 27, 2015, 03:15:19 PM

Quote from: skogge on February 27, 2015, 09:53:28 AM

Well done. Love the vocal delivery. Some "un-country:isn" chord choices. Maybe some Willie Nelson/jazzy influences there? Overall a nice run. That you say there is need for some harmonies and a pedal steel actually gives it an unpolished feel that I personally like.

/skogge (dito Emmylou-fanboy)

Skogge,

Thanks for positive comments. This song works well live and with a strpped down band is played exactly like this. I am keen to get the harmony thing sorted and convinced that Steel will give it a more country edge.  cheers  ian

Title: Re: I WISH I KNEW
Post by: shadowfax on March 15, 2015, 08:47:44 AM

yeah, song stands up well, sounds like a pro studio production, definitely needs harmonies for this genre,

good stuff

best, kevin

Title: Re: I WISH I KNEW
Post by: THEFLAVES on May 23, 2015, 10:31:56 AM

Hi everyone - an update..

This song has morphed slightly with b box, steel guitar and slightly improved mix/mastering I hope..  It will appear next week as new title Taking Sides on the Completed Song section of the Forum..

I think 28th will be over the two week gap Since my last completed song submission.. Hope you hear the difference between this and the 'completed' - so to speak - version.

Title: Re: I WISH I KNEW
Post by: kevysc on May 30, 2015, 10:41:02 AM

I get an error on suondcloud when I try to listen?

Title: Re: I WISH I KNEW
Post by: THEFLAVES on May 30, 2015, 04:53:54 PM

Apologies to Kevyc..   The old link indeed no longer works .

The song is now called Taking Sides and has been posted on Finished Song Thread today.

Thanks,

Ian