For me, this is very effective; I think the words are excellent. The melody seems to suit the feel of the topic quite well, although, for some reason I was wanting the melody to do something a little different. I don't know what, though, and it's probably just me, anyway.
One suggestion I have, only to make the song singable by anyone, is to change the word "girl" maybe to "child"? Then the gender of neither singer would matter.
A very meaningful piece. I like it.
Vicki