The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: 5 guys named Lars on April 04, 2020, 05:26:48 PM
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Hi everybody,
Posting a "new" song to give everyone a good laugh during the current "nastiness".
Wrote this last summer & started recording at a studio up the road before we got lockeddown a few weeks ago. Did some extra bits (with added bum notes) in my lounge with Audacity.
The song is finished but the recording isn`t.My mate Thomas played the fine lead guitar but the rest is me (including my vocal impression of an asthmatic chicken).
Its about falling in love with a songwriter & should sound more summery than it does.
Put it on Soundcloud yesterday & not even the Russian bots are listening to it so if you could that would be wonderful.
Any feedback on the song would be gratefully appreciated (should it be faster/slower? taller/smaller, better etc)
Many thanks & much love from barmy Denmark.
Chris.
https://soundcloud.com/theurbanmyths/holly-golightly
Holly Golightly
If I could make a deal with God, thats perfect.
Although hes quite an awkward sod its worth it, cos her eyes are full of multicoloured promises (though the boys all know the truth).
Holly Golightly, as good as she needs to be. Ever so slightly took my heart & very discreetly embedded her hooks in me.
Ever so sweetly she goes on & on.
Far away is far enough..its tragic.Shes just a girl who can`t say yes..fantastic and her songs are filled with nicely crafted metaphors (but that still don`t make them true).
Holly Golightly, its love as its meant to be. Call it unsightly but its ours.
To paraphrase Gandhi "where there is love we`ll be" which is all very handy but its hard.
She says that "ornamental pearls look good on fake & plastic girls" and though its just a joke she still believes it.
Holly Golightly its love as its meant to be ...etc etc.
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This is super..just super!! 8) :) makes you smile all the way through those fab lyrics...great work!
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Top entertainment all the way through. The vocal is suitably unpolished, perfect for this kind of song, and the instruments and arrangement all set up for a jolly quirky journey. Clever rhymes and intelligent lyrics, really enjoyed everything about it. ;)
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Hi, loved this, it brought back images of the Bonzo Dog Band and The Kinks. It has a 60's quality to it in a nostalgic way.Great writing, playing, lyrics and singing.
Very good indeed.
Cheers
Jamie
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Awww... I totally loved this. The chorus in particular is sublime - a total ray of sunshine. I'm really impressed by the way it goes down in pitch in the chorus, not up, but is still uplifting. Can I nick that technique off you? I loved it. There are some killer lines in the lyrics too - "Just a girl who can't say yes...", that's great. Reading the lyrics beforehand I couldn't imagine how this was going to scan - I feared it might be a naff rap, but actually it works brilliantly. It definitely has a 60s flavour to it... Beatlesy or Zombies... and there's a strong whiff of XTC about it too - these are all big ticks for me. As for your muse, I don't know her stuff apart from the track she sang with the White Stripes, but this track will make me check out some of her catalogue. Really impressive track mate, one of my faves on the forum recently.
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This is awesome...don't polish it *too* much. I absolutely love the rhyme scheme. it's quite clever.
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There should be more songs about falling in love with songwriters!!!! What a lovely jaunty song - it totally put a smile on my face.. perfect antidote for the current heavy reality we're living through... Lovely 60s vibe to it.. To your questions - not too slow or fast, tall or small.. just right I'd say! I just love the lyrics.. way to many gems to pick one!
Just fab @5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535) !!
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Thank you for listening and thanks for all the lovely comments. If I had any money the cheques would be in the post. It's lucky we're not let out of the house cos my head would be too big to get through the door.
Thought it sounded quite 60's so came up with Holly Golightly who I thought was a Bond girl but turned out to be a character played by Audrey Hepburn in a 60's film. Only found out last week that there was a singer called Holly Golightly too so will have to give her a listen to see if she's done a song called "5 guys named Lars". ;D
Thanks again.
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It was mentioned already but it definitely conjours images of Neil Innnes/Bonzo's/The Kinks. PErhaps something like Village Green Preservation Society.
Awesome work, I smiled all the way through, and you've nailed the recording!
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Loved this! I secretly wanted this to be your bond song but the result totally compensated for that! If this came up on a 60s compilation album (or Spotify playlist “made for me”) I wouldn’t think twice (except to Google the group and find more of their songs).
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This is great guys. Reminded me of something that The Kinks might have knocked out late 60's Catchy lyrics and infectious little tune and I love the little guitar licks that jump out from all over the place. I personally wouldn't change this too much as it has a wonderful fresh innocent feel to it.
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@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) @adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) @David Christy Jones (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21130) Thanks for all the kind words.
@adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) Daniel Craig will be on his pension by the time I finish my Bond song. :D
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Yeah...i loved this too. Great lyrics and super jaunty.
Love the Ena Sharples avatar too...from the golden era of the street...
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Nice, fun lyrics to match the fun tune.
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Hi,
Lovely pop tune guys.
Just does what it needs to and it just seeps into the brain like all classy tunes should.
Love the insistent innocence of it all
Catchy as hell
:-) :-)
Neil
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@Sterix (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22024) @Neil C (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18856) Thanks for the nice comments. Very much appreciated. Glad you liked it. :)
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@5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535) - Loved it, all 5 of you played your Danish socks off.
Such a clever melody, sounds a breeze, such wonderful touches, like the amount of distortion on the guitar, the naff organ, BV's.
Super production too
Love it.
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This is a great happy breezy song with clever lyrics that puts a smile on your face from the start. Loved the laid back vocals and the guitars. Brilliant song.
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Definitely a foot tapper. There's some string scratches that need to go (simple coz they're really loud).
Really enjoyed this.
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Hello Denmark! I couldn't access this song using the link in your post, but I found it anyway. Amazing stuff. It's got a retro feel to it, but it really doesn't sound like anything I've heard before (except maybe Kinks in their most playful mood). I liked it a lot. Great title too.
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@dinnerwithgreedo (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=6829) Thanks for the feedback Greedo. Yes you`re right..definitely some bum notes there. I gave up trying to edit them all out. :D
@The Estuary (SWE) (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22380) Cheers for the kind words & the heads up about the link. Its the Norwegians sabotaging me again..they`re jealous of our bacon. I`ve put the proper link on so the whole world can ignore enjoy :-\ it again. 1000 tak.