Will You?

  • 6 Replies
  • 1429 Views

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Kube

  • *
  • Busker
  • *
  • Posts: 1
« on: July 30, 2013, 05:01:07 AM »
If I want you by my side will you lie with me?
And if I have to cry will you cry with me?
If I want to dance will you dance with me?
If I can’t stand by myself will you stand with me?

Will you hold me if I cry? Hold me to help me get by?
Will you at least try? Can’t you see the love in my eyes?
Will you lay in the grass with me and stare up at the sky?
Will you know me enough to be able to see through my lies?
When I tell you I’m fine will you see through those lies?
If I kiss you at your front door will you kiss me back?
If I try to hold your hand will you return my grasp?
If I never want to let you go will you stay in my arms?
If I start chatting you up will you fall for my charms?
But then will you stick by my side if it gets hard? 
Will we get far? Will you ignore my emotional scars?
Will you let me buy you a drink? Will you love my wink?
Will you just come with me right now baby don’t think?
Will you promise to never lie to me if I do the same?
Will you help me be what I try to be, if I do the same?
Will you see through me when I’m running game?
Will you call me a coward if I try to run away?
If I tell you to leave will you refuse and please stay?
Will you be there to see me through and show me the way?
When I’m worried will you kiss me, tell me it’s going to be okay?

Will you talk me to sleep every night on the phone?
Will you be able to let me never feel alone?
Will you help me get from growing to grown?
Will you stay by my side even if I’m holding my own?
Will you believe when I say there’s not a girl more attractive?
Will you believe me when I say the others were just practice?
Will you ignore the gossip, lies and detractors?
Will you ignore the haters who ain’t nothing but actors?
Will you ignore the people who say I’m a bad person?
Will you believe me if I tell you I’ll never leave you hurting?
When I meet you will you flirt back if I start flirting?
If I start calling you baby will you call me baby?
If I’ll be your man forever could you be my lady?
Will you make the promise now to never hate me?
If I tell you my secrets will you tell me your secrets?
Will you keep your promise to never reveal it?
If you’re in pain will you promise to never conceal it?
When you make a promise will you please never repeal it?
If I show you how I feel about you will you see it?
And if I were to express my love would you feel it?


OR

If I want you by my side will you tell me you’re too busy?
If I have to cry will you ignore my pain and call me moody?
If I want to dance will you just refuse to do it at all?
If I can’t stand by myself will you just let me fall?

Will you cheat on me? Will you emotionally beat on me?
Will you run around behind my back and creep on me?
Will you make out with another dude in front of my friends?
Will you ignore the texts I send? Will things abruptly end?
Will you start stupid arguments and then refuse to bend?
Will you be wilding out in the club when I’m not there?
Will it be lies when you tell me how much you care?
Will you find me ugly just cause I change my hair?
Will you treat me like your boyfriend or like a spare?
Will you tell me it’s over by text on our anniversary?
Will you just be with me to up your popularity?
Will you leave me feeling used and abused?
Will you leave me feeling accused? Feeling bruised?
Will you intentionally make me blow my fuse?
Will you flirt with other dudes? Will you play me out?
Will you make me read texts saying your girl’s making out?
If I need you to come home to be with me will you stay out?
Will you get to know me find my heart just to take it out?
Hurt me and make me shout? Rip it out? Chew it up spit it out?
By the end of it all will you leave me flipping out?

Will you put me down and take all my confidence?
Take time to point out every time I was incompetent?
Will hurt me, use me and leave me without a conscience?
Will you tell everyone things that are nonsense?
Will you make me feel like I chose the wrong chick?
If I tell you I’m depressed will you say “what does that do for me”?
Will you refuse to ever admit you were wrong or say sorry?
If we do breakup will you try to fucking destroy me?
Tell everyone all these lies just to annoy me?
Spread false rumors about me just to toy with me?
Will you pretend you’re pregnant to keep me close?
Even after you spent so much time telling me to go?
Will you hate me for moving on even though I took it slow?
Will you call me a player while you’re acting like a hoe?
Will you call me all these horrible names I can’t repeat?
Will you do and say things on which I can’t speak?
Months after will you text me to tell me I gave you an STD?
Only to later admit that there was no truth in that text you sent me?
Will you text me every time you hook up with another guy?
Will you tell me that when you said you loved me it was a lie?

Bernd

  • *
  • Solo Gig
  • ***
  • Posts: 402
    • Bernd's Lyrics
« Reply #1 on: July 30, 2013, 08:48:08 AM »
Looks a bit like my scrap book when I'm gathering ideas for a new song.

What is the idea as for a song or rap? Do the lines flow well with a tune or rhythm in your mind (they don't in mine)? The rhyming pattern seems to differ, sometimes there are 5 rhyming lines, sometimes only two.

Cheers,
Bernd
Bernd
good lyricist, mediocre songwriter, lousy musician
likes rock but writes for anybody anyway ;-)

jameba

  • *
  • Open Mic
  • **
  • Posts: 116
« Reply #2 on: July 30, 2013, 11:13:24 AM »
Hey, I agree with Bernd, it is like a gathering of thoughts, hard to see if its a song or a rap, maybe by then way you have laid it out, think it would be hard to sing as a song with all the 'will you' and try and get a chorus in there. This is just my opinion :) James

PeeJay

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 769
« Reply #3 on: July 30, 2013, 08:33:28 PM »
Hi,
I think if this was trimmed down and rearranged into a more 'conventional' format there might be a song lyric hidden away in there.

There are some good lines. Go through it and pick out your favourites and see how they might fit together to form a story that can be realted to.

Phil.
I don't know what i'm doing but i do it anyway.

benjo

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 2150
« Reply #4 on: July 30, 2013, 09:43:28 PM »
hi,

there are some good lines here,  but I think it needs breaking down,
I could only think you've got music to it or ideas for music maybe a rap tony...

Sing4me88

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1191
« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2013, 10:04:30 PM »
There is defo a song in there somewhere. Some very good lines and a very obvious hook. I think you need to step back and re-assess this as it is. If you take the best lines of what you have here, add a chorus, tweak the structure etc you will have a very worthwhile song. At the minute IMO this seems to be a collection of very well written lines but not song lyrics per se.

Jess

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1329
  • Disney Princess in the making
« Reply #6 on: July 31, 2013, 09:13:23 AM »
As a mood board/mind map, this is amazing, you're getting all your ideas out and beginning to look out how they can fit together and be structured into a song format. But as a song, it just needs those structure tweaks to condense your ideas- you've got enough ideas here for like 5 songs! :)
"When writing a song, if your afraid to suck, you'll never write a note" -Jeff Boyle