Walked Out

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BooBoo

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« on: May 31, 2013, 02:28:49 PM »
This song (I hope) tells a story of a mother and daughters similar troubles. The title is only tempory as I'm having trouble of thinking of something else to call it. If you have any suggestions please tell me. This to me is one of the more countrie songs that ive done (in my head). Thanks.


Verse
She wants to go to work,
On another early Monday morning,
But the boss says don't bring in the baby,
Or that will be your final warning,
Daddy walked out on them both,
Leaving momma with all the trouble,
And the baby won't stop crying,
And momma breaks down in her own bubble,
Who's going to pay the bills,
If she can't even go to work,
No one to look after her little girl,
As daddy left being a jerk,

Chorus
She's so confused, doesn't know what to do,
As everything isn't how it uses to be,
But as soon as the baby came,
daddy said that had nothing to do with me,
He walked out of the door with his bags already packed,
Like it was another step in his life,
He had already planned,
Momma's screaming his name,
Breaks down in tears,
Fighting through the pain,
To have him back here,
He just walked out the door,
Leaving momma on her own,
The first time in her life,
Her high school sweetie gave her no hope

Verse
15 years later momma is starting to cope,
Her little girls is an A* student,
They're looking forward to their happy ending,
Up until an unfortunate incident,
One night she got a little drunk,
With her high school sweetie,
She did things she never thought she would,
She isn't ready for her own baby,
Going to end up like her momma,
Not being able to cope, screaming at the father,
Better get a control of herself,
And control that temper

Chorus
She's so confused, doesn't know what to do,
As everything isn't how it uses to be,
But as soon as the baby came,
daddy said that had nothing to do with me,
He walked out of the door with his bags already packed,
Like it was another step in his life,
He had already planned,
Momma's screaming his name,
Breaks down in tears,
Fighting through the pain,
To have him back here,
He just walked out the door,
Leaving momma on her own,
The first time in her life,
Her high school sweetie gave her no hope

Bridge
She has a baby boy,
Who makes her heartbeat with joy,
Doesn't want him to end up like her,
Missing out on his teens,
Finding out early what life means,
Never getting to be a star,
And momma still doesn't know how to cope

Chorus
She's so confused, doesn't know what to do,
As everything isn't how it uses to be,
But as soon as the baby came,
daddy said that had nothing to do with me,
He walked out of the door with his bags already packed,
Like it was another step in his life,
He had already planned,
Momma's screaming his name,
Breaks down in tears,
Fighting through the pain,
To have him back here,
He just walked out the door,
Leaving momma on her own,
The first time in her life,
Her high school sweetie gave her no hope
VOTE FOR JUNE LOTM!!!!!!!

terrysains

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« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2013, 03:53:03 PM »
Great story, very well written. I think a lot of people could empathise with the feelings of being abandoned and alone.
Suggested title: 'The more things change'...(they stay the same)
I wish you well. Terry.

benjo

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« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2013, 06:03:41 PM »
hi booboo

straight away bang in your face what a start
i wonder how many women have been here
can't take the baby to work or get a final warning
i actually got a very clear picture
then her girl seemed to be going the same way
wich is a common thing in life
captured very well loved it well done you, take care
                                              song title for me  ( footsteps followed )...

Sing4me88

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« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2013, 06:48:38 PM »
Loving this one. Could get a country vibe f it as I read the lyrics. Killer opening lines that jump right in and don't waste time setting the sentiment or scene. Love the genius of rhyming warning with Monday morning.The end lines of the chorus actually pack quite n emotional punch and I think they are easily my favourite, well crafted lines :)

BooBoo

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« Reply #4 on: June 01, 2013, 08:52:32 PM »
Thanks for all your comments!

Terrysains - in a sense I hope people can't relate to the topic as It doesn't seem like a topi that you would enjoy. But it's good that you think because of how I've wrote it people could relate: thank you for the title suggestion as well

Benjo- again thank you for your comments and thank you for the title suggestion.

Sing4me88- warning was the only thing I could think of to rhyme with morning haha. Glad you like the song.
VOTE FOR JUNE LOTM!!!!!!!

cena69

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« Reply #5 on: June 01, 2013, 08:54:05 PM »



Verse
She wants to go to work,
On another early Monday morning,
But the boss says don't bring in the baby,
Or that will be your final warning,
Daddy walked out on them both,
Leaving momma with all the trouble,
And the baby won't stop crying,
And momma breaks down in her own bubble,
Who's going to pay the bills,
If she can't even go to work,
No one to look after her little girl,
As daddy left being a jerk,


[/quote]
i thought this set off sum strong emotions for me
bliss ;D

Jess

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« Reply #6 on: June 02, 2013, 09:38:14 AM »
I totally got the country vibe from this- it reminded me of a song called 'maybe he'll notice her now' by Mindy Mccready mixed with 'Jesus take the wheel' by Carrie Underwood, it's got the same great story and each part is as strong as the other. At first when I clicked on it I thought it was a little long but when I started reading it I couldn't stop reading! My only one point would be the title could be more cryptic (I know it's just a working title) but even calling it like 'where did Daddy go?' makes it that bit more eye catching. Great work as always x
"When writing a song, if your afraid to suck, you'll never write a note" -Jeff Boyle

BooBoo

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« Reply #7 on: June 02, 2013, 09:43:50 AM »
Cena69 - thank you for your comments

Jess - I got some inspiration from this after listening to Jesus Take The Wheel a few days ago. I think I may have title in my mind but that was the hardest part for me was choosing the name.
VOTE FOR JUNE LOTM!!!!!!!

KEVIN B

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« Reply #8 on: June 09, 2013, 07:47:24 PM »
Hi booboo, yeh it's defo got a country vibe to it, good story too, if i have to say anything, maybe chorus is a tad long, but thats just a personal thing, the bridge is well constructed and the correct length, well done you !!
 check out lady antebellum new album GOLDEN, they are one of the top country acts around at the moment.
cheers booboo  8)