THE DEEP END (Binladeda Challenge)

  • 10 Replies
  • 460 Views

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Wicked Deeds

  • *
  • Guest
« on: October 18, 2020, 12:03:36 AM »
The deep end

and so it was that his day began with an early morning ride in his truck down to the nearby lake.  The sunlight flickered through the trees, bouncing off the water, capturing the beauty of God’s natural world.  That’s when he first saw her, walking in the shallows, kicking through the water in a carefree manner.  How could they know what was about to unfold?  “It took a beautiful day to make an ugly mistake.”  That was the beginning of their relationship and their brief time together.  He was a womaniser, she was a beautiful rodeo cowgirl.  Before the end of the summer, they were married in the state of Texas.  He managed to leave his womanising ways behind ‘until the end of their wedding date but it wasn’t long before he returned to the life-style that he was accustomed to, failing at the first hurdle when a woman at the bar told him ‘he’d be welcome to stay.   A father might often warn his daughter about the charm of certain men.  Truth is, this was never meant to be.  The young woman should have “cut loose in Texas.”  “Some girls you’re never meant to meet.”

https://soundcloud.com/pvasey1/paul-the-deep-end-steve-wild-paul-vasey

the deep end

Left my keys in the truck,
Walked down to the lake.
It took a beautiful day
to make an ugly mistake
The sunlight flickered in the shallows
Falling gently on her skin.
He Daddy said there'd be moments
That shouldn't ever begin.

She's a rodeo cowgirl.
drinking late at the bar.
Should have cut loose in Texas
driving safe in her car.

We were married that spring
In the bright lone star state.
left my problems behind
'til the end of the date.

Come the fall, I was slipping;
falling back on my ways.
Met a woman who told me
I'd sure be welcome to stay.

The sunlight flickered in the shallows,
falling gently on her skin.
He Daddy said there'd be moments
that shouldn't ever begin.

She's a rodeo cowgirl.
drinking late at the bar.
Should have cut loose in Texas
Driving safe in her car.

Don’t go swimming in the deep end.
Some girls, you’re never meant to keep.
Don’t go swimming in the deep end.
Some girls, you’re never meant to keep.

The sunlight flickered in the shallows
We were never meant to meet.
Don’t go swimming in he deep end.
We were never meant to meet.

Lyrics written by Paul Vasey

Lyrically, the spark began with the title that Steve supplied.  I decided to set the  scene with a guy driving his truck down to a lake.  I wanted to embrace a typical country tactic of opposites:  “a beautiful day to make an ugly mistake.”  I used words and phrases that we all might associate with country music:  words of advice from “her Daddy”, “rodeo cowgirl”, “driving safe in her car”,  (cars often feature in country music) “drinking late at the bar”, “Texas”, “the bright lone-star state”, “The Fall”.as opposed to Autumn.  It’s a fabricated story but that doesn’t mean that it lacks substance.  I think it’s a songwriters job to draw upon every experience in their tool box to give a story authenticity.  It’s  my opinion that songs rarely work when we don’t connect with that inner part of ourselves.

I could immediately hear the potential in Steve’s musical track.  However, I knew that I  would have to make  changes to the structure to make this work in my favour.

Though very similar throughout, I could hear sections that represented what I needed but they didn’t fall exactly where I wanted them to.   I wanted two identical verse patterns which are not evident in the original structure so had to do a little cut and pasting on the main guitar track and bass to achieve this.  Anything else that I considered to be surplus was ruthlessly discarded with virtual scissors.  I could hear the desired eq settings in my head and from there, it was a matter of jumping down the rabbit hole until I emerged with my prize on each of Steve’s stems.  I was able to take my favourite elements of Steve’s playing from the other stems and at times, add each part exactly where I needed them to be.  At times, I altered the position of notes that Steve played because I could hear them differently in my head. Sometimes I hear slightly different phrasing or even different notes. It's annoying as hell.   More Eq work followed including adding various degrees of reverb to the different tracks.  I tried to achieve greater clarity with the guitar parts so didn’t add other effects.   

The bass was always something that I thought about addressing as I couldn’t get the sound that I wanted from the original take.  At the last hour, I plugged in my bass and pretty much played what Steve had played but I was able to record it the way that I wanted it to be.  I’ve deliberately pushed the bass forward though that isn’t usually my style as I prefer to have it sitting right back in the mix.  I hope I didn’t overdo it.

There’s also  a new drum track. The vocal, was eq’d, a little reverb was added then I used a tape delay with a very short delay time to create an ambience of a small reflective room.   Finally, I added the audio of the truck to the beginning and end of the song (I hope that it communicates the idea of the guy arriving in his truck at the scene where he first encounters his bride to be and again leaving at the end.) The minor string chord placed at the intro and the outro conveys the sadness of the story for both characters:  the young woman who was warned by her father about charming yet selfish men and her husband who chooses  to repeat past mistakes that will surely not lead to his future happiness.   I didn’t want to go with the original outro as I felt this song needed something a little more sophisticated and less predictable.  As the song nears it’s ending, instruments start to fade in the mix and I think I achieved a rater beautiful effect with the  added strings which really was the most simple approach to employ.


Though all of the musical parts were there to begin with, I’d say it became quite a difficult task to deconstruct then reassemble whilst crafting a song.  It would have been easier to write a song from scratch.  All in all,  many, many hours of work yet a very enjoyable experience.  A little bit like restoring a ship is probably my best analogy of the task undertaken.  Not perfect by any means but I don’t feel that I can steer this one any further.

“Should have cut loose in Texas.”

https://soundcloud.com/pvasey1/paul-the-deep-end-steve-wild-paul-vasey




« Last Edit: October 18, 2020, 10:07:11 AM by Wicked Deeds »

PaulAds

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3478
  • Haemorrhaging Enthusiasm
« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2020, 10:07:45 AM »
This is brilliant.

Loads of really great evocative lyrics...you have a lovely turn of phrase...and it works here to great effect with the “country” brief.

Your vocals are always instantly recognisable and more to the point are always full of character and perfectly executed. The production sounds really good too. So much so that I went back to mine to do a few tweaks...but I’ve made things worse  :) so I’m going back this morning to undo some of the changes I made  :P

Musically, I think between us all, we’ve just about exhausted almost every possibility from Steve’s excellent backing track. I had a few similar dilemmas, and tinkered with the arrangement too.

Another really accomplished interpretation to add to the other great entries. Listening to mine again after hearing all of the other songs makes it look like I’ve “borrowed” all of my ideas from things that you guys have already done!

Right up with the best of them!
heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter

Kafla

  • *
  • Guest
« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2020, 10:52:44 AM »
just when you think there is nothinf more that can be done with @Binladeda track and then this comes along  8)

Your songs and productions are always so methodically and meticulously put together...you must stay awake all night thinking of the next move...and it shows in everthing you do

Youve brought your own sparkle to this and given it a shine...

I totally love the story and little universe you have created as well :)

Sublime!

Wicked Deeds

  • *
  • Guest
« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2020, 01:40:34 PM »
@PaulAds  and @kafla,

It's great to get the heads up on this one after devoting so much work.  I know you both get what I do and appreciate your positive comments. 

This is likely to be my last post of my work for some time so once again. I thank you both sincerely.

Paul
« Last Edit: October 18, 2020, 03:34:26 PM by Wicked Deeds »

pompeyjazz

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 5693
  • pompeyjazz
« Reply #4 on: October 18, 2020, 01:49:21 PM »
Fabulous scene setting @Wicked Deeds Paul. I had the pleasure of a sneak preview of this little gem during the creation process. It's been fascinating how some of us some of us have stuck to the original structure of Bin's song and you have taken a different approach with regard to the structure. Wonderful storytelling lyrics and wonderful delivery, (your vocals are very well suited for this type of number) and musically. I love the fact that you re-recorded the bass and the subtle layers of strings are a joy as well. Top notch work  :)

moraamarolaloba

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 2030
    • Mora Amaro La Loba
« Reply #5 on: October 18, 2020, 01:53:06 PM »
It's a song that faithfully follows the country style but with another touch that I really like, and when you do the other voice it sounds great.

You managed wonderfully the lyrics, a walk through a story very well depicted full of sounds, colors, scenes and feelings.

Mora
I did not know that to live we had to die so many times
My Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAaK7mFK7fUpf1E99I1Qtow

MichaelA

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1504
    • Sixth Beatle - a music themed novel by Michael A (not much about  The Beatles!)
« Reply #6 on: October 18, 2020, 05:35:45 PM »
Hi Paul, it seems like you almost took a detailed method actor approach to getting into your character. So much detail of his (and her) world imagined. As such you’ve gone on to create an authentic and compelling story. The idea of using contrasts is clever and I think a lot of us have done that without even realising. Someone once taught me that there can be no drama without ‘conflict’,  be that on a grand or small scale. And contrasting personalities here certainly have created drama - and an ultimately sad tale too. Pulled me in, hook line and sinker it did  :D

I liked the moody strings there that added a bit of gravitas to the piece, and your own piecing together and editing of the stems was very meticulous and imaginative.

Sung with compassion, the bad guy you play seems a little helpless about his nature and you’ve put him across in a way that makes him forgiveable despite everything. Lovely work for the challenge, and certainly amongst the best.
My latest novel: pls check it out!

‘Gavin & The Bodysnatchers’, a quirky comedy crime thriller. Easily found on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09GZ7C8M7?ref_=pe_3052080_397514860

5 guys named Lars

  • *
  • Solo Gig
  • ***
  • Posts: 332
    • 5 Guys Named Lars- Soundcloud
« Reply #7 on: October 18, 2020, 11:24:23 PM »
As you said on another post @Wicked Deeds , our songs have melodic similarities but you have gone further & worked harder to create a musical landscape that makes the track uniquely yours.
The hard work certainly paid off.
Great stuff, Paul..I hope you are not gone for long cos I always look forward to hearing what you`ve done.

adamfarr

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3170
    • SongEspresso
« Reply #8 on: October 19, 2020, 09:01:42 AM »
First of all congrats on the great sound here - you really worked on every track and the result sounds so good.
And it's just a great song - if I heard this without knowing there was a challenge I think I'd just say this is another WickedDeeds song - and a really top quality one at that.
"It took a beautiful day to make an ugly mistake" really sets the tone and it's a joy to listen to how the story unfolds in line with the melancholic atmosphere of the track.
Gorgeous harmonies too!

Paulski

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 4418
« Reply #9 on: October 29, 2020, 08:49:14 PM »
Another great interpretation of bin's groove track :)
Love the vocals as usual and the cryptic yet poignant lyrics - perfect for the mood of the song.
Production is pretty damn good too - can tell you didn't take the lazy approach that i did - just cutting/pasting the mix-down track. I feel for this guy  :D :D

And bin already knows what I think of his talents  ;D

Paul

Neil C

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3970
« Reply #10 on: October 31, 2020, 10:19:59 AM »
Paul,
Wow
Just wonderful, evocative storytelling that nails it.
Paddy Mc would be proud of this this imho
:-)
Neil
songwriter of no repute..