The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Neil C on October 23, 2019, 01:32:43 PM
-
Hi everyone,
Here's a tune I wrote over the summer. Had a bit of fun with the lyrics and went for as simple guitar pop tune.
Could do with a polish but thought I'd better let it out.
Look forward to what you think, is the pace about right?
:)
neil
https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/summer-rain-demo-master-17-ayg-2019 (https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/summer-rain-demo-master-17-ayg-2019)
The clouds are heavy after too much sun
Enjoying themselves just like everyone
Got caught a little, they now need relief
To loosen their load and cause mischief
Like a pressure cooker about to explode
The temperatures rising before the download
So bring it on, let the downpour begin
The needle spun and I’m soaked to the skin
There’s no end in sight, I think I’m going to drown
In the summer rain - on the hillside, the valleys and the towns
There’s damp on my brow, my clothes dripping wet
Its so oppressive and sweat down my back
I can taste the moisture, I can feel the heat
When will it stop and give us release?
Like a pressure cooker about to explode
The temperatures rising before the download
So bring it on, let the downpour begin
The needle spun and I’m soaked to the skin
There’s no end in sight, I think I’m going to drown
In the summer rain - on the hillside, the valleys and the towns
Pregnant like a saddleback, bursting at the seams
Cumulonimbus
Let your babies go, let them all be free
What goes round comes around. They’ll return safe you’ll see
Here come the gods and their weapons of war
They got it bad, got to even the score
Freya and Zeus, Mariamman and Thor
Thunder and lightening like never before
So bring it on, let the downpour begin
The needle spun and I’m soaked to the skin
There’s no end in sight, I think I’m going to drown
In the summer rain - on the hillside, the valleys and the towns
c 2019 N Connor
-
Hi Neil, flashes of 60's, Ray Davies, and also touches of Damon Albarn (So bring it on....). All of which is good. nIce guitar work as ever.
Nice one Neil.
Cheers
Jamie
-
This sure was a catchy tune, @Neil C (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18856) :) Amazing chord-progressions in the verses, and you sing it well :)
Well done! :)
Luke
-
Think I caught this a few weeks ago Neil. Brilliant Kinks type vibe, love the guitars and laid back dirty drums. You're in good voice for sure and some great harms chucked in there as well :)
-
some muscle in the playing neil.. dead end street in the rain
good vocals its a real grower too as find yourself going with it and the changes
and 'Cumulonimbus.. !' follow that.. didnt he discover america ?
-
Up to your usual instrumental standards my friend..agree with the Kinks thingy, good chorus chords..whats not to like?
-
Yo Neil.
Loved that twangy CCR 7th on the opening bars!
I'm starting to sound like the needle is stuck,when I comment on your great guitar sound,but well...ya keep doin' it! ;D
Of all the quality songs you punt out,I really dig this one Neil. It has great guitars and everything!
Lyrically,very clever too,but hey The guitar is the star. 8)
-
Hi Neil,
Big contrast to Davy's song (which I listened to directly before this).
Just feels like it is being sung with a smile.
Got that retro feel, but also maybe some Suggs in the vocal delivery. (I suppose the obvious song to think of is The Sun the Rain)
Cool blend.
Bright and breezy on a gloomy afternoon.
Digger
-
I echo the comments on that Kinks vibe.. makes for a very catchy piece. Great guitars.. lovely arrangement and production.. And I'm a fan of the lyrics - great imagery. Put a smile on my face this one.. Nice work, sir!
K
-
Jamie, touches of Ray and Damon, thanks for that
Luke, thanks for your kind words on the tune, chords and vocals
pompeyjazz, 'Brilliant Kinks type vibe' :-)
nooms, 'good vocals its a real grower too as find yourself going with it and the changes
and 'Cumulonimbus' Had to get word in somewhere - and Saddleback too!
shadowfax, thanks Kev for your feedback
Skub, cheers for your comments, really appreciate it.
digger72, 'sung with a smile' It was :-)
MonnoDB, ''m a fan of the lyrics - great imagery. Put a smile on my face this one' thanks for that...
-
I really admire your productions. Great use of chords here. The verse patterns especially, are delicious!
So much to like here!
Paul
-
@Neil C (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18856) - Lovely song, really enjoyed this, thought the Chorus might benefit from doubled vocals on the lead melody line, you do have the last line done this way and it really works.
Maybe look at the rhythm guitars, pull back on the distortion, but increase the Hi one of them EQ wise, 2 takes of the same thing, on 2 different guitars, plonked L and R,
Might also work with an acoustic strumming the rhythm guitar part...just a couple of ideas.
-
Hey man, not much to add that hasn't already been said. Just thought I'd stop by and say it sounds fab! Nice one mate!🎶👊🏻🎶😁
-
Great stuff, Neil. Pleasure to hear you again. Really nice sixties sounds - as many others have said there's a Kink's things going on in a very good way. Love the production and the layers of guitars. Great tune, too!
-
From the "Momma Told me not to Come" intro to the beautifully compressed guitars, there's a lot to like here.
Nice chord progressions and your vocals totally suit the genre.
The bridge is a good 'un too. :D
Nice one ;D
Paul
-
1
Not like your song, but the title reminded me.
-
This is great! Sounded similar to Blur.
-
I jumped on the wrong track here my friend but it was great to revisit your song. The guitars are ace. This is so we'll developed!
Paul
-
I love this! It's so much fun. I don't have much to criticize. Maybe the strong beats don't match the strong syllables once or twice, but maybe that's just a cultural thing and doesn't count...I don't know how all words in British English are pronounced. I've listened a few times the past several days and figured I better write something about it before it gets too old. ;D