Life Goes On

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NathanHorror

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« on: July 31, 2014, 08:21:42 PM »
I'm not writing these lyrics for myself or for anyone, although they may possibly mean something to someone. So if I mess up in the lyrics or something doesn't seem right, just comment on it. It's fine, I can take criticism.

You think you can take it all
Was it all set in your mind?
Everything you ever did, its like you planned it all along
You left me in here all alone
Stuck in a room with no escape, just your intentions
I knew it was over when I let you in my life
You are the one who destroyed everything
How was I supposed to know what you are capable of?

I hate you and your selfish ways
They're always pulling me down
So why don't you just pack everything and leave?
Just take everything and go

So now I don't ever want to see your face
What have you become?

You're just a dying light with no hope
You might as well stop running from who you really are
become the nothing...
You're not something
You're just a dying light

Let's burn this memory in this wasted place
Lets burn this... In this wasted place
Lets burn this... In this wasted place
The memories will never escape this place
They will never escape

I hate you and your selfish ways
They're always pulling me down
So why don't you just pack everything and leave?
Just take everything and go

You took me for granted
You just tried to use me but I'm not a toy

You held this life in your hands
You tried to play with me
You held this life in your hands
But now it's free

Everything that you've become
I'll watch you leave with your head down

My life will go on without you here.

Arkwright

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« Reply #1 on: August 02, 2014, 07:16:08 PM »
The song starts with a narrative that reminds me of someone writing a letter to espress they're feelings. There's nothing wrong with that approach if it remained consistent throughout the song, but it just feels a bit like you've set the story up and then left me hanging if that makes sense. With regards to the rest of the lyrics, there's some nice work going on.

A couple of suggestions if you're interested:

I hate you and your selfish ways
They're always pulling me down
So why don't you just pack everything and leave?
Just take everything and go < This line says the same thing as the line before

You're just a dying light with no hope < I would take these words out
So stop running from who you really are
become the nothing...
You're not something
You're just a dying light

You held this life in your hands
You tried to play with me
You held this life in your hands
It's time to set me free

Just my thoughts, hope they help....