[Alan Starkie]

Always looking for fresh ears -

https://soundcloud.com/alanstarkie/we-took-the-sun-home


‘We Took The Sun Home’


We picked the time and the time was right
You were the one I know
Making a hole to a lighter place
Finding the way to go

There’s a photograph in a frame that draws my eye
It’s a picture on the wall that never lies, oh no

We took the sun home
We made the memories of our lives
We took the night and made it shine
And we took the sun home

Kicking the sand on another beach
Taking another breath
Loving the way that you lead me on
Happy to take what’s left

We were made to do anything that sets us free
You were meant to go anywhere that leads to me, oh yeah

We took the sun home
We made the memories of our lives
We took the night and made it shine
And we took the sun home

We took the sun home
Losing the fear we had inside
I did what I had to make you mine
And we took the sun home

Seconds to minutes, hours to days
Where does it go
The time is today, the moment is now
I think you know

There’s a photograph in a frame that draws my eye
It’s a picture on the wall that never lies, oh no

CHORUS

We took the sun home
We took the sun home

Seconds to minutes, hours to days
Where does it go

[S.T.C]

I like this song..it`s quite well produced..reminds me of Alan Parsons Project for some reason or other..cos it`s not really their sound...i didn`t lose interest whilst listening to it...which is always a good sign.

[Boydie]

This is really great stuff, enjoyed it very much

It is not quite there as a "hit single", but it ain't far away at all


The production is top notch to my ears, although this track is slightly "80s" sounding in production and some of the melodies in places but then there are also some really current and commercial sounding sections - e.g. 3.20 onwards has a real Gary Barlow feel to it for me

It is almost "too good" for a current pitch to publishers, who are likely to be looking for the next Justin Bieber type track

However I think this is one of my favourite tracks on the forums for a while

I would love to know a little more about you, what you have been doing, your aims with your writing, how you record etc.

I can't wait to hear more - great job!

[Neil C]

Great title - loved the intro, voice and tune. Excellent adult pop - I'd buy it.
Q - what was your electric guitar/amp set-up?
 
Neil

[Alan Starkie]

songsthatcry :

Thanks for my first reply! I've had a similar comment before re Alan Parsons Project. I've never listened to him though! lol

Boydie :

Thank you for that. A Nashville publisher deliberated for a month over this track before giving me a pleasant 'no'.

As for me - I'm a dedicated songwriter trying to get cuts with artists (USA mainly) as my songs tend to fit into the american market. I'm currently signed to 3 publishers in the US and Europe with an Australian publisher looming.

I have a studio where I teach guitar and this is where my songs are mostly written/recorded.

My general recording format is:

1 - get the basic idea
2 - roughly record all parts
3 - cut and paste the arrangement
4 - when I'm happy, re-record all tracks
5 - edit and master

Neil C :

Cheers Neil. Thanks for leaving a comment on soundcloud.

The electric guitar sounds on this track were amplitube jimi hendrix I think.

[man of simple pleasures]

yeah decent track, sounds a bit too commercial for my ears,  i dig the we took the sun home bit around a minute in where you hear the acoustic, it would have been good for to have a bit more acoustic or  picking more of that in the song and maybes built up with electric guitars as the song moves on!

[vibesville]

Great track really nice well produced everything works. I also like 'Hold On' a lot as well, got to say I get Neil Young, Jackson Browne and even some Andrew Gould flavour from your track, which is great.
Look forward to more!:)

[flossie]

Hellooo!

You can really write a good melody and to keep with the Gary barlow reference you even sound like him!  It's a very professional demo.

As you are clearly an 'advanced' songwriter I will tell you what I think with my 'fresh' ears.

It's too long it needs cutting down to three minutes if possible.  At 1:04 you have a really hooky wooh vocal which could run thru the instrumental bit and return at the relevant points.

At the second to minutes bit I would have some arco strings, to use the Barlow reference think .Rule the World' maybe? This would help the song reach it's climax. 

I definitely think this is a goer as far as selling it but it is far too long as it is and I think that is your main stumbling point with it.

Hope you don't mind me sticking my oar in!

Flossie

[Alan Starkie]

Thanks Flossie. Great comment. 

[S.T.C]

Thank you for that. A Nashville publisher deliberated for a month over this track before giving me a pleasant 'no'.

Firstly would like to say i don`t rate Gary Barlow....

Well ....P...i have heard this one song of yours....i get the picture of your standard...you have the means to make quite good quality music.....but is it good enough for greater exposure,,,,the answer is probably yes....if your song writing improves....i suspect your lyrics failed to hit home...there good,it`s more of album track for me..

I don`t know if you find this fair comment?

[Alan Starkie]

Nice observation songsthatcry.

I never thought of this as anything more than an album track and was quite surprised by the reaction I got back from publishers. They seem to like it more than me! (and you).

Lyrically, it's a filler, not a killer.

Fair comment? Absolutely.

[digger72]

Hi,

Nice pop tune. Production sounds really great. Too middle of the road for me, but i'm sure there's a market for it. I'd agree about it being a solid album track - perhaps not a strong enough chorus for a single. Good songwriting though.

Digger

[Dutchbeat]

totally cool this


great piece of work, Preserverance

[montydog]

I can't really add much to what others have said. It's a very good piece of songwriting and it sounds like a professional product - something which takes a lot of talent and dedication to create. I agree that it's too long but other than that, it is one of the most commercial sounding tracks I've ever heard on here.

[ThreeStarMask]

I never really expected this kind of production on these kinds of sites, even I can't do that. This is something amazing in pure honesty. Have you tried airing these in radio stations?