[GuitarArt1980]

I like where this song is heading. I even dig the lofi sound of this recording, which I'd be careful not to lose too much of if/when you do a "proper" recording.

First thing that I noted was I think you can shorten this by 2 minutes easily and have a much stronger song.

Your voice is great and I had no issues with your English. However, there are some awkward lines in the lyrics that I think could use some rewording ("time" is used twice in consecutive lines) (the line about clutching your neck makes it sound like she's choking you (or maybe she is?

Overall, I really dug the raw/honest feel of this.

Good job!

[saver]

hi Joaquin ,  i have just listened to your song and i have to say that as others already said the song is too long . we have something in common in fact english ain't my first language either , by the way i'm italian and i noticed vicky could not understand the lyric the "air is filled with truth" , well it must be a cultural thing i guess because i understand perfectly what you meant to say in that line , maybe because we both have latin languages and are very close culturally , sometimes in my lyrics i tend write that way too and english natives find it hard to grasb the meaning . musically i have to be honest it is not my genre and i can not judge it , all i can say is you sung it with passion and emotions so and it is a big plusto the whole track . pues , bien hecho amigo , siguas asi . saludos desde italia 

[CaliaMoko]

... i noticed vickyi could not understand the lyric the "air is filled with truth" , well it must be a cultural thing i guess because i understand perfectly what you meant to say in that line

It's also possible I am just too dense to get it unless you hit me over the head with a 2x4.

[Muso1070]

Hey great tune Joaquin i like the tone off the guitar and your voice reminds me of one of those upbeat avicii numbers, god stuff!!