The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Paulski on April 21, 2019, 03:40:51 PM
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As monty python would say - and now for something completely different ;D
This was written to a brief - make a song based on the picture on soundcloud.
Neal and Barb are on the left coast of Canada - Neal wrote the lyrics and Barb sang the vocals.
I'm to blame for the music and production. Comments welcome on all the above ;D
https://soundcloud.com/paulcanuck/too-many-men-collab-with-neal-klassen-feat-barb-on-vocals
Too Many Men
Holbrook Nebraska, nineteen thirty-one
Dust-beaten fields in the withering sun
The Speakeasy’s busy when the corn ain’t growin’
And too many men leave too many women all alone
Sweat stained nights and hard bitten days
Rumours of work down Arkansas way
It’s five weeks out, then four days home
Too many men leave too many women all alone
But the floor needs sweeping and the hens need keeping
And there’s wood needs splittin’ in the shed
Now, children stop cyrin ‘cause mama’s busy fryin’
Flour dough to keep your bellies fed
California called him, but the mail must be slow
His letters stopped coming six months ago
I’m minding the nest ‘cause Papa-bird’s flown
Too many men leave too many women all alone
I’m minding the nest ‘cause Papa-bird’s flown
Too many men leave too many heartaches at home
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Wow....that voice is amazing.
Lyrics are very clever.
...and Paul don't want to leave u out...the music is top class and love that production.
This song is just begging for a Hollywood movie to support it.
Great song ....enjoyed this!!!!
Sandeep
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Awww. I just love that Paulski joanna, and dirtbag by the sound of it 8) What fecking amazing vocals. Brilliant light and shade as well. Top quality work from the left and right side of Canada :)
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Wow! What a great sound and vocal.. Reminds me of the soundtrack of The Princess and the Frog - which of course shows that I am the mother to daughters... but also that my New Orleans references are a little lacking...
This is so polished and accomplished.. Love it A LOT!! I'll be listening again.. Top top song....
K
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I have to repeat what's already been said. Amazing vocalist :o Wow! Some really good lyrics and the production is top notch. :)
the melody sounded somewhat familiar but suited the lyrics perfectly :) Great collab and entry guys :)
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Wowza. What a voice and what a song! I can see a guy driving his car through driving rain while crying his eyes out at the wheel, while this is playing on the radio. All the elements are there, with a supersonic production, amazing keys and a driving beat. Top notch stuff!
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Cor blimey!...the bar keeps getting higher and higher on this site...quality oozing from every note in this piece...bloody marvelous.. :) 8)
best, Kevin :)
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you're a class act Paul!
lovely vocals.
I especially like the lyrical content, there.
(doesn't really fly with this me2 fad, does it? lol.
I know there's no connection but...)
Stunning piece of work!
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Blimey, the vocals just left me totally floored.
The rest is very well balanced too... the piano and organ hug each other very well.
Awesome piece of work... powerful.
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Hi guys - thanks so much for the warm reception on this one.
It was a fun collab - Neal is a great lyricist and Barb an awesome vocalist so it's nice to hear I didn't get in their way too much with my music :D
And yes John - it's the dirtbag organ - worth every penny I didn't pay for it ;D
Paul
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Excellent, excellent, excellent work guys ;D ;D ;D
Lost for words really ::) . Just want to say how much I'm enjoying listening to this...
I was listening to 'Dad' thinking Wow, this is really good.......then I heard this, and was completely
blown away. You're really coming out with the goods these days Paul. Not that you haven't always ;D
Just seems that you've really 'upped your game' recently.
Anyway I bloody love it ;D . Off to watch a black and white movie now ;D
(did I say how excellent this is ;D)
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Nice stuff, classic songwriting leading up to a cracking hookline.
Lovely soulful vocals, punchy middle 8 with some lovely harmonic turns. Takes me back to reading Steinbeck in my youth.
Really great :)
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@Binladeda (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18620), @tboswell (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20223) - Tom and bin - thanks so much for the kind words. I'm sure Neal and Barb will be pleased to see this kind of feedback as well. It was fun to do an all-Canadian collab for a change. Go Canucks! :D :D
Paul
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Brilliant stuff @Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241)
This could be a bluesy standard written and performed by an established artist.
Everything is outstanding,playing sing,lyrics,this is the package.
Blown away Paul. 8)
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@Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241) - Echo everything all the other lucky listeners said, @Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061) - Spot on man, this could be a Blues standard, I was just thinking, if you offered it to established Blues artists, I can't see how they would improve it, to me it would only be different.
Absolutely top drawer music, and not because of the obvious Vocalist, but they lyrics pull you in immediately into the story, also the production is just right, neither too much nor too little going on, perfect arrangement, could easily have put too much verb on, or not enough air on the LVox, but Man you nailed it here.
As a collab it's just superb, each doing their thang, and doin it well.
Gotta go, getting me ballcock replaced.
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Needs to be on the soundtrack for Red Dead Redempion 2! :p
Nicely written, nicely sung!