[hardtwistmusic]

Great stuff - I'm a sailor and it rings true

I have a nautical suggestion for the last line of your chorus
Fading in and out of our reality -- through eternity, 
Trying to fix an anchor in the sand. 

Thanks Mickey:  Were you a Sailor in the Navy or the Merchant Marine?   I'm strongly considering your suggestion.... haven't made up my mind to put it in yet... but it's definitely good. 

[hardtwistmusic]

Has a good folky feel. I thought the chorus was particularly strong.
Phil.

Thanks Phil:   Some of the others felt the chorus kind of "got out of pattern" which it does... but the music allows for it and the vocal makes it work.  (I think) 

Not surprised that you felt it flowed.  I hear similar things in your lyrics that I try to figure out and they always work.  You always throw some variety in.  It always works out when I try to make your lyrics "sing."

[Gwyneth Rose]

It's NOT as long as it reads.  Comes in at 3 minutes 40 seconds.  A little long... but not so bad.

www.reverbnation.com/HTMworksinprogress

Wrote this as a poem initially, then eventually set it to music.  An English artist named Maria Barham was going to develop it, but never got the time.  Maria is a marvelous artist and I strongly endorse her.  She can be found on Reverbnation.  

Anyway... this was a fun, but difficult write.  Spent more than six months coming back to it and changing little bits of it.  It's a fun/sad song.  For those too young to know this, the "Flying Dutchman is NOT the silly and/or evil ship you remember from the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie.  

The "Dutchman" is a ghost ship doomed to slip in and out of our reality just to keep up the hopes of her ghost crew that they can somehow return permanently to our reality and their homes.  The false hope is the true tragedy of the Flying Dutchman.  


THE FLYING DUTCHMAN  


From the corner of your eye,
you catch a fleeting glimpse of grey.
What it is you think you saw, you can’t exactly say.
There’s a creaking moan you hear but can’t identify.  
The hair stands up on the back of your neck.  
Oh why, oh why, oh why?
                                                                                    
The fearful moon hides behind the clouds
afraid to light the sea and sky.
And the Dutchmen stalks the nightmares of
every man afraid to die.    

She’s the flying Dutchman....
on her voyage through eternity.
T'ward a harbor she will never reach,
a home she’ll never see.
                                                                                    
She’s the phantom sailing ship
On a voyage of the Damned. .  
Fading in and out of our reality -- through eternity,  
tryin to  find a place to make a stand.
        
Through the fog you almost see
a patch of flashing canvas white.
But the moon comes out and the water is
still  empty, clear and bright.
  
And a chill runs up and down your spine
cause  something’s just not right.
Cause there’s nothing else on the water tonight,
just  the moonlight and our fears.

It's the flying dutchman’s legacy
through all these many years.  

Your never sure you see her...  
but your still not sure you  don’t.
She’s a will o the wisp, a phantom shrouded
in clouds of misty smoke.  
                                                                                    
Sometimes you see her on the water ...
sometimes you'll  see her in the sky....
And you know her by that creaking moan
you can’t identify.  

She’s the flying Dutchman....
on her voyage through eternity.
T'ward a harbor she will never reach,
a home she’ll never see.
                                                                                    
She’s the phantom sailing ship
On a voyage of the damned.
With a crew of long lost souls.  
Fading in and out of our reality.
for eternity... trying to find a place to make a stand.    
  
And when you’re on the water,
and you hear that creaking moan.
It’s just the flying Dutchman trying to get home.  

Sometimes you see her on the water.  
Sometimes you'll see her in the sky.
And you know her by that creaking moan
you can’t identify.  


There ain't no hope for her lost souls....
no harbor is her home
No  hope for her to ever rest...  
forever doomed to roam.
                                                                                    
Cause she's the flying dutchman
She's just trying to get home.
                                                                        

You did a great Job with the completed song. I think "Folk" really suits the lyric. Great melody and nice voice. Well done!!!