The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Mike67 on May 22, 2018, 10:28:18 PM
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This is another one form out upcoming EP, "Out Of The Blue". Basically about being behind the curve when it comes to being in love; not wanting to make a move for fear of getting hurt. Any tweaks gratefully received.
Mike
The Last To Know
I’ve been wondering
So much lately.
Somewhere I’ve never been;
I’ve seen love again.
Paint me a picture
But paint it slowly
I’ll be the first to fall,
But the last one to know.
Paint me a boat upon a sea
Paint me a harbour, where to be
I’ve been wondering
If, when our ship comes in
Will it just come and go?
Will I be the first to fall,
But the last one to know?
I’ve no expectation
I’m tired and frustrated
I already took too long
All the ships have gone
Write me a story
But write it slowly
‘cause I’ll be the first to fall
But the last one to know
Paint me a boat upon a sea
Paint me a harbour, where to be
I’ve been wondering
If, when our ship comes in
Will it just come and go?
Will I be the first to fall,
But the last one to know?
https://soundcloud.com/mike-warnes/the-last-to-know
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Yo Mike.
Love the bangin intro,it put a smile on my face straight off! 8)
Hooky as hell and catchy as fook! It has that 80s feel with a dash of more modern EDM. Avicii vibes.
It rolls like a steam train,simply irresistible.
Can you tell I liked this? :D
Gonna bang out a few more listens now,before bedtime. Liked/reposted and stuck on a playlist. 8)
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I love the beat. The rhythms of the words are not the way I would have done them, which is good. It takes me by surprise, every time. Well, it did. After a few repetitions, I'm getting used to it. One of the best things about other people's music is that they have a different way of doing things than I do, so it expands my horizons. ;D Good melody, too. So many song these days have unremarkable melodies, nothing that would ever stick with me, so I always appreciate a good melody.
No nits from me.
Vicki
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Your singing makes this for me. The production sounds great and it totally works, is very catchy and danceable. I do think it could go further with the synths, more intensity, more variation. It's a bit all the same.
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I think there's maybe a couple of unnecessary chord changes which take away from the intro. Love the beat and the synths, the whole atmosphere and tone of the song. Really good work.
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Hi Mike
Beautiful production and synth sounds. The beat is infectious - your vocals are excellent and cut through the instrumentation perfectly. And not mastered? Really very good indeed, I enjoyed this a lot.
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Liked it very catchy and foot tapping - your voice is very clear and good - easy to listen to - I think there is scope to play a bit more with the keyboards loosen it up a bit ( probably don't know what I'm talking about ) take it of in different direction - but it's a nice song - I'd love to hear other versions maybe an instrumental , but it's got a real good feel about it
I like the lyrics as well - some clever lines in there xxx
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Enjoyable listen with a modern vibe - good vocals.
Catchy and radio ready.
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Really nice, actually really like the restless chord movements in the intro.
It is almost a chord progression as a hook it seems to me.
Production is really super all the way through, reminds me a something in-between Alan Starkie and KNmac if you are familiar with some of the folks from the forum. Both master craftsmen.
Vocal effects and delivery are top draw. You could probably put this out to sync without any trouble.
Superb job.
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Thanks for all the comments. Definately more work needed to get this right - we have quite a long list of fixes we're working through. Critical ears help you take a step back and listen afresh, which is always a good thing.
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I found this song so relaxing!
A very nice sound to it. I think the production is superb and this could easily air on the radio! I notice it says unmastered in the title and I think it would be well worth getting these mastered. A quality song in every way.
You're obviously very talented and good luck with this! I hope it gets the listens it clearly deserves
All the best
Darren
Edit: Mike! I'm jaded from a busy weekend and just realised now this is a part of your collaboration! This is possibly the third track I've heard from this? Well I think it's exceptional work, look forward to its release. Cheers.
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Great intro mate,
really catchy song - love the lyrics.
The only minor adjustment from a mix point of view would be to bring the Vocals forward in the mix - maybe make them mono and a bit louder and leave the backing vocals stereo. That is being really critical - otherwise it is great.
Ben
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Great stuff - "the first one to fall and the last one to know". Really like the chord changes not always on the expected beat, keeps it fresh. Lots of light and shade.
In the intro (and maybe elsewhere) I'd like to hear a 4 to the floor kick drum (and not kick-snare-kick-snare) which could give a more modern dance sound.
But super song and production all round.
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I really like how you have got those more sustained synth sounds sitting behind a busier beat - makes it sound all so dreamy. Sensitive vocal treatment, building well and the final vocal overlay is very catchy indeed. Sounds like a hit to me - with the right bit of luck! ;)
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Hi, really like the chord progression it's unusual for this style. Nice production too. Singing is great too. The only nit for me is when the drums change at about half way they sound as if they are being played in another room, just a bit detached and mono sounding.
Very good though!
Cheers
Jamie
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A well crafted song....excellent production.
This has a real haunting feel about it.
Great vocals, I especially like like the backing vocal effects.
A good listen.
Sandeep
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Great modern vibe. The intro is as catchy as anything. Great modern sounding vocals and well produced. You say it's unmastered. It sounds pretty damn good to me.
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Powerful intro.
The you hang us i suspense with V1 but just waiting for the chorus and Yes. It turned up. ad then straight into v2 with the 4 to the floor drum and snare.
Liking your vocals all the way through, especially good the outro
Only suggestion is that the vocals could be slightly higher in the mix for the chorus.
Lots to like here
:)
neil